Ways and Means: November

Well, all that excitement from a high achieving October went down the drain. I thought it would be the start of a few months with no excess spending but boy was I wrong. First, the big “winner” for this month was pre-ordained. Mel had moving costs coming in and that was way more than enough to insure that she would take November by a wide margin. Let me tell you, the broker’s fee that many New York apartments require is outrageous. What is this fee for you ask? Basically just for showing the apartment, getting it signed, etc. That fee can be either one month's rent, two month’s rent, or something in the ballpark of 12-15% of the total rent. For an apartment that costs, say, $2000 a month, that broker fee is $3600. That’s an extra $300 per month! Yes, that is why people in New York perk up anytime there is a no-broker fee around.

Anyway, between this and actual moving costs, Mel’s November was shot while George, AMR, and I were free to spend to our heart’s content with no worry that we’d win November. It made for a drama free month but I believe we all stuck to our budgets as close to possible anyway, as the true soul of Budget Club is saving money, not trying to win or lose. That's what they tell me anyway. With Mel's victory, we have all taken our turn at the top of Budget Club and now it'll be a clean race to see who wins for December...

For the month, I went 150% over my budget. How you ask? I mean, last month I declared that my bank account and budget were in lockstep. Well, two words: tax return. I received the almighty gift from the government and then promptly spent it all. That extra money was the only way I survived.

Basically I blasted through 200% for play, 215% on travel, 420% on household stuff (sounds high but the amount was initially set very low), 325% on taxis, and 200% on miscellaneous. That all sounds pretty dire but I am happy to report that I was only 120% on dining out and 80% on snacks, which means my food costs were more or less under control. Now if the rest of my life would just stay put, I'll be okay.

Heading into the final month of Budget Club, I'm excited to do an end-of-year wrap up. How much did I spend in my "richest year ever?" Also, is it time for me to get a credit card? Traditionally I'm awful when extended credit so I've been wary -- I'm sure the feeling is mutual. However, it seems like something I should do so I can make large purchases without automatically having my account depleted. Speaking of account depletion, I noticed that my bank has been charging me for under balance fees. That's all fair and good but c'mon, why exacerbate the problem? Who knows what a credit union is? Should I join one even though it seems like you'd need to be local to belong? Why were there no personal finance classes in high school? That seems like an oversight...

• ATM Visits: Six, twice with fees
• Dining out: Twenty eight times, high of $50, average of $21
• Snacks: Fourteen, high of $8.50, average of $5.50
• Cabs: Eleven, average of $15
• Shopping: Fake glasses, one book, four iOS games
• Play: Book club tea house, Smalls jazz club, three nights out, Haim concert tickets, four movies
• Biggest Expenses: Flight to SD ($200), Amazon household stuff ($85), Home Depot items ($60), bar food and drinks ($50), Chinese food ($40)

Before Sundown

Because I love Stephen Elliot's Daily Rumpus, and since I've been wanting to test out Tiny Letter for the longest time, I'm prepping a personal newsletter of my very own! I have no idea what it'll be, maybe just mass emails posing as individual emails. Or the other way around. Either way, it won't quite be a blog because this blog is now dead -- except for a few entries finishing up the budgeting Ways and Means series. Farewell friends, farewell!

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Ways and Means: October

Here we are. I had to take a breath and take in this moment because after ten months of doing this budget club, I actually came in under budget. Yes. UNDER BUDGET. A celebration! Not only did AMR “win” his first month of Budget Club, it was neck and neck for George and I between who would spend less. In the end, I came in under by a magical $3.12.

I wish I could regale you stories of how I tightened my belt, found some magic way of not overspending, or read some great money guide to help me out but the reality of the sitation is much less exciting. When I came back from San Francisco near the end of September, I discovered after a little checkbook balancing that I was broke! Having the same amount of money in your budget as you have in your bank account is a fantastic way to not overspend. So basically, less money, less problems.

Whatever, I’m celebrating anyway. After a carefree September that saw me spend all I wanted, I slashed my budget hard in October. Every big category took a hit and my new monthly budget was almost $400 less than my previous one. So not only did I come under budget, I did it with a much lower budget overall.

Sure, I still spent 130% over on dining out, 135% on snacks, and 145% on playing, but since I didn’t go anywhere in October, only 10% of the travel budget was spent (a LIRR ticket to Queens), nothing was spent on household or gifts, and I basically bought no groceries. In fact, my sandwich diet went into full effect. So, one of the delis down the block from me is pretty well known as having amazing sandwiches. Eddie Huang even mentions it in his book, and Farmer in the Deli is top notch. For five bucks you get a huge sandwich with an incredible amount of meat. Sometimes I hear people in line exclaiming out loud at how much meat goes into the sandwich. Mary and I have had conversations about why this deli’s sandwiches are so much better. Fresh ingredients, big portions, perfect bread, that’s all it takes really. So basically I was on sandwich diet a lot, which saved a ton of money.

Unfortunately my taxi bill is somehow at 160%. That’s just six rides but I’m too old to not just jump in a cab when necessary. But now I’m tracking where the hell I’m going on these rides. Mostly it’s when I’m in a rush or in-between Brooklyn I think. I dunno, fifteen dollars or so to get home quickly is never a bad trade off I suppose.

Since July I’ve been tracking what I eat everyday as a separate calendar in Google Calendar. I think I mentioned it back then. Anyway, here’s my October food calendar. Take a close look at the last week. Basically in order to fit under my budget, I took that week of October off. From life. I ate at home, I didn’t go anywhere, I refused to re-up my Metrocard even, all to insure that AMR would outpace me and take the month. All my hard work paid off and now I’m not a Budget Club winner (again).

Also, since MoviePass ran out, I’ve been looking for a way to get a new one. Unfortunately, now I’d have to pony up a whole year’s subscription in advance, which is like $450. Without free movies to jump into, I’m a lost soul. I tracked how many movies I paid for this month and it’s clearly way worth it for me to get one when I have the wiggle room. Even though I paid for five movies, I did watch eight though, as I just hopped a few times to get value out of my single ticket. Living the dream people, living the dream. Anyway, now I’m officially at a broke stage where I can only spend as much as my budget — technically my budget is a few hundred over what I make actually, so that’ll be a problem. I’m predicting a banner November and December for Budget Club as I finish off the year strong, with my bank account at a nice round zero dollars... Note: this is the only month where my biggest expense wasn't in triple digits, and all top five expenses were on food! I guess that is a semi-victory.

• ATM Visits: Six, once with fees
• Dining out: Thirty one times, high of $50, average of $21
• Snacks: Eighteen, high of $13, average of $7.50
• Cabs: Six, average of $13
• Shopping: Earrings, street trinkets, Kid Robot toy, X-Men comic book, iTunes app
• Play: AAWW Pageturner, Bronx Zoo, comedy show, R-Bar, karoake, 90s R&B Singalong, five movies
• Biggest expenses: Ramen ($50), Korean food ($45), Olea brunch ($44), Ippudo ($40), Thai food ($35)

Days Are Gone

Since being back in New York, I've just been trying to catch up to my online life. Mostly that has meant doing emails, slamming together a bajillion fantasy sports blogs, and trying to capture via documentation all the things that happened in September. For most of the month I was in San Francisco and if moblogs are the true measure of exciting things happening, then September was a banner month. I had fifty-five moblogs for the month, a huge number considering that I had just 169 for all of 2012. The last time I had over fifty entries was in June and December...of 2007.

The first thing I dropped into SF for was houseboating year two. It was a slightly different lineup, and this time we invested in both a bigger boat and one with a top deck jacuzzi. I had this whole theory about the inevitable decline each year of group trips, but this one was spectacular. Everything exciting about last year's trip was amplified and being a more experienced crew, we knew how to iron out all the kinks. It felt like two days was actually too short, as another day or two of relaxing would have been nice, but between the jumping, swimming, singing, dancing, flip cupping, and having funning, there was just no time.

Sidenote: I was horrific at flip cup -- in contrast to last year -- and I was equally inept at beer pong. It's been awhile since I've been so terrible at something that everyone made fun of me. I mean, I usually try to avoid those situations. The whole point of life is to not do things you'll suck at right? Or was it to not suck in the first place? Anyway, this time out even my buddy, a sweet sweet someone who won't be named, turned on me and berated me for my inadequacies. That's okay though, I understood. In the heat of competition, it's sink or swim and I definitely sunk (the whole team). Why was I so bad? I have no idea. But if there's a year three of houseboat, I'm coming for redemption. While there were many highlights of the trip, one of mine was everyone getting invested into doing the cup song thing from Pitch Perfect. I don't care if it's overdone, my greatest dream was to have it happen. And it did.

You know you wish you were there to learn it too.

Every weekend in SF was jam packed with stuff. In-between it was major laundry and recovery days. George had cleared out all the stuff in the front alcove where her desk usually sits. She announced that she wanted me to have all my stuff in there and that I should drag the tatami mat into the room to sleep. I refused, because it was too far from the action and not in front of the TV. I took to calling the room "the doghouse" and used it as a staging and storage area, but didn't cave in to her demands to be relegated to the time out room.

Also the first day I was back in SF, coming off the high of a beautiful warm weekend on a lake, I was all like, "I'm ready to move back!" A few hours later, stuck on the wrong bus down to the Mission, all the things I detested about San Francisco came rolling back. Of course, that was before AMR lent me his spare bike. Riding around New York all summer had been super fun but now it was an essential part of my transportation. Without a bike to zip me from George's to AMR's, I would not have survived.

For our birthdays, George had the brilliant idea to gather everyone up for a ride across the Golden Gate Bridge and we did exactly that. We got our little crew together, waited out the delay of me popping a tire not two minutes into our journey, and then had a perfect ride down to Sausalito for brunch. Actually, come to think of it, the only other time I did that ride was right around our thirtieth birthday, five years ago. I was once again in SF piggybacking off of George's birthday plans and for some reason we had rented bikes and done the exact same SF to Sausalito route. This time around, everyone had their own bikes and AMR, Victor, and DLMOU did the trip in fixies. From what I understand, that's an impressive feat. Click here for their recent joyride video. The West Coast riders club is getting big. (JMZ is already threatening to defect if I don't step up my game.) I even took a bike on the BART, and rode from Oakland to Berkeley with the quickness. Although my friend

To live in San Francisco would require like every mode of transportation possible. Walk, bus, bike, drive, board. The costs must be enormous. Also we/they started playing basketball in the Mission on Tuesday nights. There's a beautiful near empty court right on Valencia and it's lighted with glass backboards. I only got to stick around for two sessions but so far the enthusiasm has kept up and if it keeps going, it's my number one reason for re-visiting. I don't recall there being a time when we had enough people wanting to play sports altogether in SF. Next, next, I got next!

On weekend three, we drove forty minutes south to an YMCA campsite for our friend's wedding. I knew Camp We+Do was going to be incredible because Stef is just the type of person who would know exactly how to make a camp wedding be perfect. Back at Michigan, Stef was literally the coolest person on campus and it was intimidating just to talk to her. I remember when she left a super nice message on my web page's guest book back in the day -- yes, web page -- and it was like "Stef knows who I am!" Fast forward many years and I was gearing up to attend her wedding.

The whole thing was inevitably amazing. Each detail was perfect and when the saxophonist burst out of the tree stump squawking out Estelle's "American Boy," that was the capper. Best wedding ever status. I mean, the ceremony itself was already reaching Hall of Fame levels because two guitars strummed a few chords and then Stef's family started off singing "Edelweiss" as the whole crowd joined in right when Stef and Mike walked in. All of this happened under a canopy of lovely trees. I haven't been touched watching two people get married in awhile, but this one almost made me shed a tear. For some reason, half of our friends sitting next to us had no idea what was going on. "Why does everyone know the words to this song?! I'm so confused." A group viewing of The Sound of Music was clearly in order.

Also, shout out to the debut of AMR's handmade boomcases. We had them on the houseboat but at camp they were even more of a hit. Speakers in a vintage suitcase? I've never felt cooler holding luggage. Speaking of music, the second night of the wedding, we danced from like nine in the evening until three in the morning. No stops, barely any bathroom or cigarette breaks. The music was that good, and the freestyle saxophone guy was killing it. Stef and Mike found him playing during Pride and hired him for the wedding. It was an incredible touch. The whole atmosphere of that night was magical.

Having already hit up a summer camp earlier this year, I think it should be an annual must do event. Since there's no cell phone reception and no schedule, camp is just a glorious time to be free and to have fun. I highly recommend summer camp for all of life's ailments, especially if you're planning a wedding.

Last thing. During afternoon activities announcements, my friend said that they were looking to organize a Dirty Dancing flash mob. Needless to say, I could not have been more excited. Re-enacting Dirty Dancing at summer camp! That's the dream! Under the guise of a yoga class, a dedicated group of us got together and practiced an impromptu routine set to "(I've Had) The Time of My Life." It came off perfectly, complete with some leaping (off tables) and twirling. Ultimately I declined to actually perform because it was only the girls doing it, but I recorded some footage and boy did I make sure I knew the moves. My only regret is that JonG was laid low by allergies, otherwise he would have replicated the Patrick Swayze moves. I mean, during practice he got up off the bench and showed us the proper steps ("No no, that's wrong, it's this move...") and literally every girl swooned. Dirty Dancing man, whew.

Videos:

• Houseboat: Cup Song | Heads Up | Dancing (via George)
• Birthday Ride
• Camp We+Do | Dirty Dancing
• Mission Basketball

My original flight out had me leaving a few days before Jasmine's thirtieth birthday. Influenced by George's poor decision making, it was clearly the wrong move. George had told me that I should just leave SF after the wedding but it didn't take long for me to realize that it was just an attempt for her to rid herself of me. Jasmine's birthday weekend was going to include too many festivities to miss out on so I just bought another ticket back to New York while ditching my original non-refundable one.

Fantastic decision obviously, as it's not every day you get to attend a birthday roast and toast. It takes balls to put yourself in front of people and have them say mean (but hopefully nice) things to your face. Like one of the video roasts declared, "Cuz Jasmine has the biggest *bleep*!" Haha, the best.

There was more of course. Old friends, new friends, camp friends, lots of naps, movie nights, Hello Kitty karaoke, birthday dinners cooked by top chefs, a lot of stuff. Fifty-five entries worth.

Ways and Means: September

Send in the clowns! I practically was right on the button with my budget this month, just a handful of a few hundred dollars over. That's success by any measure. I don't even want to analyze it, I did so well. But of course, I owe it to myself, and to all of you, and to all of humanity to document why I was able to barely bleed into the red for September.

Birthday money? Nope, nobody gave me birthday money. Ahem. Oh wait, I'm thirty five now. Old people don't get birthday money. Well, there was a small website job that contributed nicely to the bottom line. That probably allowed me to slip right under George's overage, winning her the crown for the month. So far the only "winners" of the Budget Club have been the two of us, that's probably not good. We should probably recruit some members who are real loose with their money and have no self control. Any volunteers?

I was only 130% over on dining out this month, and made it spent just about perfect on play and grocery. Yes, I did go high on travel, shopping, and taxis, but they were all for good causes. First, I was convinced to stick around San Francisco for an extra week to attend Jasmine's 30th birthday party. She had a roast and toast and obviously it was worth any price to stick around. So I ditched my prior ticket -- most airlines don't do refunds, or they charge a huge fee, lame -- and just got another one-way back to New York. So worth it.

And then I had to buy a Solid State Drive for my laptop. JMZ, AMR, and Victor sing the praises of a SSD swap so I had been waiting for this upgrade for awhile. The $180 was money well spent! And those taxi rides were mostly airport shuffling back and forth, plus a very necessary cab ride back from Sausalito after our birthday bike ride and the ferry was super crowded. See how necessary each overage was?

Of course, the dark side of this is that a likely reason I was able to stay near budget this month was because I was dealing with a lot of days that were already pre-paid. September had six days I couldn't spend any money, even if I wanted to. Three for the houseboat and three for a friend's camp wedding. Both were pre-paid for -- altho houseboat incurred expenses afterwards -- so they really helped cut down September spending. Now I know that the key to having a successful month is to just go on vacation where you're cut off from stores, technology, and food is provided for you.

I was a bit surprised that I dined out and snacked just as much in SF as I do here, but I guess that makes sense. You can't not eat right, and what do you do with friends besides meet up for dinner? Also, for a second I was in love with SF again, and ready to move back. Until I got on the buses and realized that to live in the city would require every mode of transportation: bus, car, bike, walk, Uber, skateboard, you name it. I borrowed AMR's bike the whole time I was there -- and got two flats -- and riding around was amazing but you really can't survive on just one mode of transportation in the Bay. I mean, you can of course, but convenience calls for having every mode of transportation at your disposal.

Three more months of tracking our budgets. Then what happens? Do celebrate with a big New Year's Eve party where we don't spend anything? What, what?

• ATM Visits: Six, twice with fees
• Dining out: Twenty seven times, high of $78, average of $29
• Snacks: Fifteen, high of $16, average of $9
• Cabs: Nine, average of $25
• Shopping: Uniqlo shirt and tie, one bowtie, two T-shirts, one book, various jewelry, Solid State Drive
• Play: Hello Kitty karaoke, a few drinks, two dance parties, one dance class, two movies
• Biggest expenses: Houseboat expenses ($250), Solid State Drive ($185), flight to NY ($160), shabu dinner ($80), Sausalito taxi ($70)

Ways and Means: August

Up until the last week or so, I was doing spectacular. On track to spend only about $200 more for the month. Then mid-month hit and I collapsed again. The good news is that my budget overage has been in decline since April, so technically this was my best month yet. But somehow I still won Budget Club (again). Next month I'm in San Francisco so I'm hoping to sabotage George and AMR's efforts to save money, so that one of them will be the winner...

I did lower my August budget on eating out, snacks, and play, so that left me two hundred dollars less to spend compared to July. That was slightly balanced out from a check from my one day of working with JMZ at FanFest though. Still, I feel like I did pretty spectacular. Slowly I will eventually hit my actual budget and then we'll rejoice.

In August I was under on play, snacks, grocery, travel, and subway costs. In fact, I didn't even have a subway card because I rode my bike so much. The downside is that I spent 140% over on dining out, 490% over on shopping, 380% over on household, 240% on gifts, and a whopping 485% over on taxis. That last number is because my taxi budget was at $50 but I went far over. Whoops. I guess I just had to get places fast. Even though I'm still constantly late. What gives?

Remember when I said in June that I was living a 75k lifestyle? Well, I've improved! The past three months, I've only been spending like I make 60k. Now if I can just halve that again in the next three months, I'll be golden and living within my means.

• ATM Visits: Seven, no fees
• Dining out: Twenty eight times, high of $88, average of $29
• Snacks: Thirteen, high of $13, average of $9
• Cabs: Thirteen, average of $18.50
• Shopping: TJ Maxx socks, umbrella, two bike helmets, Marvel vinyl toys, two Uniqlo shirts, new wallet, MLPFIS socks, three books
• Play: 90s Singalong party, Met Museum, one karaoke time, three bar nights, three movies, fantasy football dues, and one Slate Gabfest ticket for next month
• Biggest expenses: Camp WeDo ($140), bike helmets ($95), anniversary dinner ($88), sushi dinner ($55), Parm dinner ($55)

Quiet Storm

During the Fugees surprise reunion on Chappelle's Block Party, people in the crowd ask Lauryn where she's been. "You say where I been?" And she points to her kid hanging out in the background. Unfortunately where I been is nowhere near as exciting. No children lurking around here! I mean, I hope there aren't any… I had a few friends ask me if I was okay because my blog was so dead. It took a N'Sync reunion to blog on my normal public one, and this past July budget blog was sitting in my draft folder for weeks. Basically I've been busy doing something but I'm not even entirely sure what.

There was a concert on a yacht, a Broadway show with Nathan Lane, the usual smattering of seeing people here and there, a really fun 90s Pop Singalong party. I dunno what else actually. I've been hitting up a few more book events because of friends' readings and releases, but not anything too heavy. I'm in the middle of like five books I can't seem to get to halfway through on any of them. Not on account of goodness, they are all good, but I just don't sit down and read I guess. One of them is due this week for book club. Even though I'm not that far into it, Americanah is already good bordering on super excellent, I can tell. It's by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, who did the "The danger of a single story" TED talk that got around. That, along with the previously posted about Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. has reignited my fire for fine reading.

I will conquer some books soon, or pass out trying.

New York summer has slipped away from me. All the late nights, the wandering around, the things that I come to New York for, all of that hasn't really happened. And now I'm headed to San Francisco for three weeks, and when I return it'll be fall. Part of the problem is this weather. I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually miss the heat. Nights have been almost chilly, like seventies, and the thickness of summer is gone. Come back humid weather, come back so I can complain about you again.

Yesterday night I biked from Midtown all the way to my apartment in Fort Greene. It's the longest ride I've taken, maybe five or six miles in total. I felt like it was my last chance to catch any summer before it passed away. I rode down late, music blasting, even though I didn't have my newly acquired helmet on. (I mistakenly bought a woman's helmet, but it's so pretty that I'm keeping it even if it sits weird on my head.) It only took me two and a half songs to get across the bridge, but it was enough for me to say goodbye and to come to terms with the fact that summer is over.

Sorry, I totally let you down.

A few weeks ago JMZ took me across the Manhattan Bridge for the first time, on the way to ramen. It was pretty awesome, if initially a bit tiring. JMZ rode his skateboard and was somehow twice as fast as me. He's ahead of me carving up the street on his mini-board as I hustle to catch up. At times, JMZ would hang onto the back of my seat, sitting sidecar -- apparently this is called "skitching" and it's what real skaters do. One passerby yelled out "cute" as he shot by us on the bridge. He may have meant it mockingly but whatevers, it was damn cute. Everyone should skitch with one other.

Also, skate video four. As you can see, I'm not getting any better, I just want to buy more skateboards.

The ramen place we ended up was Bassanova. It's pretty new and it's from Keizo Shimamoto. If you are a ramen person, his Go Ramen blog is probably familiar to you. A couple of years ago, Keizo quit his job, moved to Japan, and became a ramen chef. And now he's got a place in Chinatown, right on Mott Street. The prices rival Ippudo's but I have to say that his Thai green curry ramen is pretty freaking delicious. And different. Watch his short documentary Ramen Dreams if you wanna see someone doing it, living out their dream.

What it must feel like to have your passion, and just get to it. I've been thinking about that. If you just had to pick one thing to do, with no excuses, what would it be and why aren't you doing it? Or not even one thing, but putting 125% into anything. I'm also reading through a camp acquaintance's book, Do Cool Sh*t, and it's inspiring to see how much one person can do. Well, deflating, but ultimately inspiring. In the book she says to surround yourself with the right people. So I've been thinking about that. Surround myself with the right people to achieve what I want. Who are these people? Is it you, me, them, us?

• Tokyo's Acclaimed Bassanova Ramen Opening in New York City
• Go Ramen Foo-Foo Challenge (2008)

We watched Drinking Buddies the other night. It's got Jake Johnson from The New Girl and Olivia Wilde, and Anna Kendrick. It's from Joe Swanberg, who did all the mumblecore stuff like Quiet City, Nights and Weekends, Hannah Takes the Stairs. Some real gems right? Drinking Buddies was like accessible mumblecore, with more plot and shine than stuff Swanberg has done before. I loved it, absolutely.

The loose idea of Drinking Buddies is that it's about exploring the line between friendship and romance. Johnson has a girlfriend, Wilde has a boyfriend, but the relationship depicted is between them. They are friends, maybe more than friends, maybe not really, they are mostly platonic but also not just. Whatevers, it's grey area. It's worth a watch, even just for the discussions it might bring up. I mean, unless you're in a relationship, in which case this could be alarm bells.

Bill Simmons wonders on his podcast, with pop culture genius / intellectual douchebag Chuck Klosterman, if this is the Singles or Reality Bites for the current generation. (The Gaga Generation? Miley? Ha, just kidding. What is the right reference here?) I'd say not quite but maybe. I'll have to give it a re-watch. Also, if Ben Stiller successfully pulls off bringing Reality Bites back as a television show, as rumored, I'll have to hate him even more than I do now. Of course I'll hate watch Lelaina and Troy, but I won't like it. Not one bit.

• The B.S. Report: Chuck Klosterman on Miley Cyrus, Breaking Bad, and Drinking Buddies
• NYT Review: When It's All About the Timing | New Yorker review
• Meet Drinking Buddies Director Joe Swanberg, the Man Behind Your Next Favorite Movie
• Joe Swanberg On Why He Felt a Social Responsibility To Make Drinking Buddies
• Lessons in Extreme Productivity From the Director of Drinking Buddies

When I get the time in the next week or so, this blog is going down. It's time to go newsletter with Tiny Letter. Jon Wow has outlived its purpose. What purpose you ask? Ha, you're hilarious.

Ways and Means: July

I spent a few bucks on Spendee, an iPhone expense tracker. Sure, I was using Mint and stuff but this one was just too pretty to pass up. Mint was failing me because it had some tiny syncing issues and I wanted something to just log my cash expenses while on-the-go. Spendee is that app. Is it full featured? No. Does it look pretty? Yes.

For the first time all year, I was not the Budget Club loser! That honor goes to George, who spent an outrageous amount on who knows what -- including a new iPhone to replace her stolen one. While I certainly didn't make my goal of coming under budget, I performed better than at least one of my peers, which is fantastic. I am almost giddy with joy, even though my bank account has dropped a few levels as my roommate informed me that she hasn't cashed my rent check for two months. No wonder I was feeling so rich. Regardless, I am feeling on top of the world!

I also had my best spending month since February. That means I only spent 150% of my budget, which is a win all around. Percentage wise, July was my best month yet actually.  I don't know how, but in February I managed to spend the least, even though I blew over $500 in taxis. Actually, I do know how February was so cheap: I didn't travel.

Basically what I've figured out is killing me is travel and food. If I want to stick to my budget, I can not go anywhere, and I can not eat. First the travel. In July I had to dump some money into an airplane ticket to San Francisco. I'll be there for three weeks in September and really, there's no other way around flying coast to coast. This upcoming cross country flight is actually the cheapest travel I've bought this year.

Other categories I went over: 150% for dining out, 150% over on play, 340% too much on household, and 400% on taxis. The taxi thing is really a painful cost because I should be biking/subwaying places. Part of that cost is the taxi back from JFK earlier in the month, but apparently I got lazy and took a few extra cabs this month. Whoops. As for the household extra, that can be explained very easily: air conditioning. It was blazing hot for a few weeks here and my room was an oven. The $120 I spent on a mini air conditioner was worth every penny.

As for the playing, I guess I went out and had drinks more than normal. I see three or four instances of bar tabs that were over $50. And I barely even drink that much when I go out. I don't know how you alcoholics maintain a budget and drop so much money on alcohol. Also, I discovered that my MoviePass fails me at certain independent cinemas so had to pony up to see Act of Killing, Computer Chess, and Blackfish -- the latter which Mae paid for. I also stupidly swiped the wrong red card and got charged $18 to watch The Wolverine 3D. All of these were quality must-see movies though, so I can't begrudge the cost. Still, this MoviePass is supposed to be saving me money. Also, I think I have to re-up in August for another three months. Sunk costs, sunk costs!

Wait, why am I explaining everything away? I think it's because George is real good at putting on the pressure and inducing guilt. I mean, not enough for me to change my habits, but enough for me to feel like I need to explain every miniscule charge. I literally get a "you spent X on X?!" text message every few days from her, as she has full access to my budget spreadsheet. I guess she didn't ascend to become a high ranking tax auditor for nothing.

My goal this month is to stick to my dining out budget. I am blowing far too much dining out. Even after splitting off my snacks -- more on this later -- I somehow dropped over a thousand on dining out. Keep in mind that I'm hardly eating like a king. I'm just eating normal one or two Yelp dollar sign food. What is happening? Add in my grocery bill and I'm literally spending more than four times on food as either AMR or George. This month I'm moving back to sandwiches, pasta, cereal, and ramen. I also started to track my food consumption as an extra category on my Google Calendar -- in green of course. I need to figure out how many meals I'm eating and what I'm eating. Basically tracking is the key to feeling like you're making progress, without possibly actually making progress. See: Budget Club.

As for that snack category. I realized that I spend an awful lot on little snacks. Walking around I'll pop into a bodega for a coffee, some candy, grab a couple of cookies, dip into Handsome Dan's for a snocone, what have you. Throw in my always consumption of Jamba Juice and boba, I figured I needed to more carefully find out if I was throwing money away on snacks. Thus, the exciting July debut of a "snacks" category. Woohoo, feel the rush!

Also, I am officially running out of money. Help.

• ATM Visits: Ten, once with a fee
• Dining out: Thirty two times, high of $80* (17 snacks)
• Cabs: Eleven, average of $18
• Shopping: Bath mats, two thrift T-shirts, Klean Canteen, backpack, popsicle molds, keychains, one book
• Play: two movies, four nights out, one karaoke session, a Broadway show for next month
• Biggest expenses: Flight to San Francisco ($350), air conditioner ($140), dinner ($80), Broadway show ($70), dinner ($60)

Move Something

A friend got broken up with the other day. The separation of their lives sounds painful. He was supporting her, they shared animals, they shared space, they shared lives since college. Now it's all over and she's unloading pet supplies, clothes, games, just about everything. I don't often get whatever the opposite of schadenfreude is -- sympathy? -- for breakups, but this one seems awful.

One of my summer goals is to get three chapters of this relationship book done. I keep collecting links and articles and fun things to go over when I finally do the proposal. (Note: I have also been talking about doing this book since 2009.) Here's a few recent ones I've been digging through.

First up is this Forty Days of Dating experiment. Two friends decided to date each other for forty days to see what would happen. The project took place in the spring but they are releasing their entries now. It's getting a ton of press and Internet love. Of course I'm jealous, as this is a project I clearly should have. Maybe I'll still do it, but you know, to less acclaim and with less creativity. The whole thing reminds me a bit of Breaking Upwards, the semi-fictional movie about a real life couple breaking up but still trying to live together.

I've also been reading about the term "monogamish." Dan Savage coined it and it's making the rounds once again due to the recent Supreme Court decisions. Here's Slate's Double X ladies talking about it. Ever since being introduced to the concept of open relationships, etc., I've been an advocate. Applying it in real life, that's another story. This may not be news to you, but most people aren't quite up on the idea. Shocking! Social norms aren't changing anytime soon and I haven't met anyone (yet) who's successfully pulled off an open relationship.

At a writing group I went to a few years ago, one of the guys was trying to write a book about polyamory. Half of the session was spent with him answering questions about his lifestyle. You'd think it would be interesting, but it actually got boring pretty fast. Maybe it was the guy though, he was just kind of smug-y. I used to listen to Savage's Lovecast a lot, but not so much now. Maybe it's a thing couples should do together.

• What You Should Know About Monogamish Relationships
• All My Exes Live in Texts: Why the Social Media Generation Never Really Breaks Up
• I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You (2012)
• Modern Love: Uh, Honey, That’s Not Your Line

"Normal frictions that arise in any relationship -- sour mood spoiling a dinner, tension around whose apartment to sleep at -- start coarsening their time together. The fade-out is slow and hazy -- it's a devastating portrayal of the subtle shifts in power that can ruin the blossoming of real love and sympathy between two people."
-Love, Actually: Review of Adelle Waldman's The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.-

We helped move Amit out of New York the other day. It was just two years ago we were celebrating his ten years in NYC. Out of nearly everyone, he's the one non-native that has stuck around here the longest. Now it's time for a change and he's driving back to Ohio and then on to Los Angeles. Who knows how long he'll be gone?

With his exit, half my social life is gone. I mean, I mostly associate summers with hanging out and drinking wine at Veloce, singing karaoke every other night, and running around to wherever Amit is. He was always up to something, always with the cool people, and could be always be counted on to spice up my nights in the city.

Last week, we also had one last karaoke session, and we added another Lion King song to our repertoire. A few months back we discovered that we are awfully good -- and enthusiastic -- about "Circle of Life." Well, we're almost as passionate about "Can You Feel the Love Tonight." Anyway, we did that and now it could be months before I hear him do "Hallelujah" or any of the other songs I've gotten accustomed to hearing Amit sing. I wonder how many other similarly Amit-shaped holes will be felt by his friends. A lot, I'm sure.

Also, as we were moving stuff out of his house, I reminisced a bit about his apartment in Chelsea. He'd been there for seven years and so much has happened there. Oh the memories. That couch, that carpet, the bathroom we would sit around DDTing because everyone else was asleep.

I can't remember the last time anyone had a DDT.

Plunk, plunk

Did some real honest work for the first time in well, forever. Honest work meaning I sat my ass in a chair for more than five hours and mainly did responsible things. JMZ's annual MLB event happened to be in New York this year so I volunteered for some card making duty on Friday. Working these things can be draining, especially when you're faced with the prospect of four or five days of people pushing through. I can see why JMZ does fewer events now. I'd want to burn the whole place down after seventy two hours.

The last time I joined JMZ on the assembly line was at the 2008 Super Bowl in Arizona. Back then I was just his assistant, sitting to his left and rolling/cutting the cards out. This time I was able to actually man a Photoshop station and given the responsibility of snapping the photo, using some keyboard shortcuts to shift things around, and then get the proper spelling of the fan's name. Moving on up in the world! Here's a sample card, and here's JMZ sitting next to Tony the Tiger.

I was only at the Javits Centre from about ten to seven, and because it was more for fun than anything, it was very enjoyable. But it gave me flashbacks of doing jobs where you just hate being there day after day. Like "More of this, tomorrow? Wah wah." Whenever my good fortune runs out and I can't just glide along doing nothing, it's going to be a tough tumble back to regular life.

The difference in our volunteer help was stark. One of my guys was entirely useless. He didn't position the people well, he didn't tell them what to do, he was basically just standing next to the rack of jerseys being invisible. The lady that replaced him was, in contrast, spectacular. She anticipated my needs before I even voiced them -- adjusting people's stances, making small talk, suggesting fun ideas, tipping hats up when people's eyes were covered -- and I wanted to ask what she did in her real life, just so I could go work with her. I guess my point is that you can generally tell if someone is capable at something within about half an hour. This is how the hiring process should be for most things. "Show me what you can do, I'll just watch for a bit."

During high school, we did a ton of volunteer stuff and we had little summer gigs where we'd stand around trying to be useful or something. The most fun one I can remember is when A Bug's Life was coming through the local mall and we were hired to stand around next to the roped off statues and make sure nobody touched them. Basically we did nothing, but it sure felt important.

Basically R&B is the thing to mix into everything right now. Lately I can't get enough of Quadron, which is Danish R&B/Soul, and AMR has been hammering me with (horrible) R&B tracks being sampled and remixed into house stuff. He explains in this T.E.S.T. post. It's hard to complain though, as Discovery and Purity Ring has brought me much joy. And of course Weeknd and Frank Ocean. Now I'm getting into Haim, a band from L.A. that brings together folk and R&B. There is absolutely no end in sight here.

"It isn't surprising that indie and indie-sounding R&B became cool again this year. With its emphasis on melancholic confessionalism and interior concerns, so-called 'progressive' R&B (far more so than most mainstream club-oriented R&B) delivered authentic blues feeling to a post-affluent culture suffering from collective disillusionment."
-Should we be suspicious of hipsters' newfound love of R&B? (2012)-

It was a weekend of iPhone disasters. I took Mae riding down West Side Highway on a Citibike and it was all glorious until we noticed that her purse was gone -- fallen out of the front non-basket thingy. We traced our route a few times but it was not to be found. After contacting AMR to see if he could use Find My Phone on it, a few hours later he texted that George too had lost her phone. Stolen right out of her bag! Luckily, from the messages and photos I received throughout the night, it seemed like she was too busy twerking and drinking to get too down. Anyway, this is a public service announcement to get the protection plan for your iPhone. I used to not ever do it, but the list of people who haven't ever lost their expensive phone is dwindling.

Also: "My sister twerks?!" If you haven't fainted, and you need to do a little twerking tutorial yourself, may I recommend this Youtube Howcast. Activate those hips and push your ass out...

Last thing. Like my basically best friend got surprise/shock engaged last week. And I found out via Facebook. Et tu, Brute? Actually I'm semi-okay with it because I didn't tell her I had a girlfriend for months. Whoops.

Always Ballad

Okay, so Rosemary's Baby was not scary, not like The Exorcist, which is what I was expecting. It's one of those films that's constantly referenced in pop culture -- and a few times this past season on Mad Men -- so I thought it was about time to watch it. Over two hours later, my verdict is: meh. I'm sure it's a super classic and there's a lot to admire about it, but rewatching certain old movies is almost a chore. The archival stale wheat germ before you can move onto sugary summer fare like Despicable Me 2. Now that's a movie! I don't care if I'm trying not to overhype stuff, go see it. That and Sarah Polley's brilliant Stories We Tell were recent things that I'd highly recommend. Plus 20 Feet From Stardom if you're into that type of thing. Heck, here's my last three months of movie watching, in too many words.

Roman Polanski is a child sexual abuser, Orson Scott Card opposes same sex marriage, and George R.R. Martin probably has a few skeletons in his closet too. I was thinking today about the idea of boycotting art because of the creator. That would eliminate a wide swatch of consumables. A lot of great stuff comes from super fucked up people. I mean, I can't say I love David Choe's stuff always, but I do love following him, even if his interests and expressions are way off from my morals. Then again, what morals right? Excited to see Ender's Game!

But seriously, where do you draw the line?

I do this thing, where I'm always checking in on an old blog, Hipstomp, on the month that I'm currently at, weighed against his archives. It's one of my absolute all time top five blogs and I've probably re-read the whole thing like ten times over. Being in New York lends even more interestingness to Rain's posts. He blogs like I want to blog. I emailed him once, a few years ago, to see if he had an agent for his work in progress. I guess that project never got finished. Now he writes for a design magazine or something. I should try to see who we might know in common, so I can go gush/grovel at his feet.

Lately I've been trying to figure out a topic for a newsletter I can start. I saw a friend on Facebook follow The Skimm and hopped on a few months ago. Now I see articles about it everywhere and there's a weird uptick in newsletters. I'd been hoping to start a friend circle gossip one using Tiny Letter, but that idea requires people to tell me secrets they either a) don't have or b) won't divulge. So that project is out.

But I'm mulling over the idea of doing a Skimm-esque newsletter, perhaps for pop culture. It would take an intense amount of energy but I'm basically doing it already on some level. I just need to find some fellow heavy consumers and get on the ball. I think the key behind the newsletter resurgence is that you have a very tightly focused demographic to advertise to. Because that's where the money is right? Telling people what to buy. But under the cover of something else.

• A Daily Newsletter You'll Want To Actually Open (2012)
• Meet The Women Behind The Skimm, Your New Secret Weapon
• You Need To Know About: The Skimm
• Tour The West Village With The Skimm's Gorgeous Founders
• Roommates Quit Jobs At NBC To Help You Skim News Every Morning (2012)

Having this bike share thing is changing my life. I've walked to the subway exactly zero times. There's a rack of Citibikes half a block away and I just jump on one and zoom a mile down to the subway. It's super glorious. The entire last week I even got to places on time, or early! And it's even better in the city -- albeit more nerve wracking -- because when the subway lines aren't convenient, you just hop onto a bike and go. Traveling east to west has never been such a joy.

And on Saturday afternoon we rode bikes from JMZ's apartment in Bed-Stuy to Williamsburg. It was a short three mile ride and we arrived soon after Jenn and her friend, who drove. What I have noticed tooling around on a bike are the varying quality of the streets. I'm scanning everywhere for potholes, bumps, potential danger spots. All while trying to look around for traffic too. It's incredible how alert you have to be to survive, and I'm pretty sure I'm not even that good at being alert. I made a vow to myself to not ride a bike when tired or post-drinking. At least until I get on that helmet stuff. Then I'll drink, ride, and listen to Tupac on full blast. "Picture me rolling..." I'm going through a Tupac phase for some reason right now. I hope it ends soon so I can return to regularly scheduled programming.

Also this past weekend, we went out dancing two nights in a row, both until super late. The line for Le Poisson Rouge was down the block and they weren't letting guys in shorts in so I chose to scoot home, change, and then get back out. It's possible to do this because things don't close in New York, I love it. So back on the scene at twelve thirty and then dancing till four. It was an absolute hot box, like everyone was just drenched through.

But that heat was nothing compared to our sauna the next night, at a place called Tender Trap. We didn't get there until two thirty but it was still packed, smelled like what you'd expect it to smell like, and sweat was literally dripping off my elbow at certain points. The music was all booty rap with overtures of late Nineties jams, and if it wasn't so late we probably would have looked for other options. I loved it ten minutes in though, as it was grimy but super fun.

The summer is for dancing, it's true.

Ways and Means: June

And I'm back from a West Coast trip that did heavy damage to my budget. Let's start with some good news before it gets ugly quick. Unexpectedly, I got a 45% raise, which is great -- although that is still about 75% of what I was making for the first three months of the year. Basically it's just a bigger band-aid over the hemorrhaging. I'm still gushing deep red, but now just slightly slower.

Somehow, while shuttling between Vegas, San Diego, San Francisco, and then back to San Diego for the first three weeks of June, I managed to get my second worst month in the books at 215% over my budget. That's pathetic. Let's look at the damage.

Once again I was huge over on dining out, this time to the tune of almost double, 188%. I have to figure out what happened because you would think spending the majority of my time out of New York would have decreased that number. Some of that will be work stuff I get reimbursed on, but that can't account for everything. It's time to move back to fewer meals a day!

Shopping hit me to the tune of 570% over, which means clearly I should up that category. The catch all category of gifts was 325% over, which again, should tell me to increase that, or maybe look at what I'm categorizing under there.

I was real good about public transportation, playing, and groceries, keeping right in line with the budget, but I fear that those are probably because I didn't use taxis, subways, or buy any real groceries for most of the month. Travel, again, rocked me hard. Basically it was just two things: Vegas fun and paying for the houseboat trip at the end of August. I still have to buy the flight for that guy too. I swear I'm gonna come under budget next month, otherwise George is threatening to boot me from the club!

• ATM Visits: Seven times, no fees
• Dining out: Forty six times, high of $105
• Cabs: Three
• Shopping: Camping supplies, pair of shoes, Ninja Sox, two tank tops, sunglasses, one book, the best nail clippers, rocket popsicle molds
• Play: Two movies, two karaoke sessions, Vegas trip, one night out
• Biggest expenses: Vegas ($350), houseboat ($340), MoviePass ($125), business dinner ($105), drinks ($90)

Since we're at the halfway mark of 2013, I thought I'd dig in on a little extra analysis. Basically with six months behind me, I'm able to see what I've spent total so far this year, and also get a handle on how much I took in. The short answer: not enough.

Years ago, when we hypothesized how much we'd each want/have to make to sustain our lifestyles, I thought making fifty grand a year would be gravy. With that amount I'd be able to do what I want, travel wherever, and basically live as I like. I read somewhere when I was a kid that if you put a million dollars in a traditional savings account, you could live off the interest forever. Child me clearly thought a million dollars was the easiest thing that was gonna happen by adulthood.

Well, if I want to live in my current world, short of my still valid dream of becoming a NBA player, that interest accruing million bucks won't be happening. A few years ago, I was "the richest I'd ever been" while on unemployment. I was getting max UI, had some book money, lived at home or on couches, and just ran around doing whatever I wanted. Well, that's not true. I couldn't do everything I wanted, I could just glide by if I didn't do much.

Currently, from what I can calculate, I am living a 75k lifestyle while not making nearly that much. That number is obviously unsustainable -- not to mention absolutely ridiculous -- because I doubt I'll ever come close to making that much. Like in life. Plus, things I didn't account for or have to deal with: health insurance, mortgages, any medical emergencies, school loans, savings, the future. How do people own houses and have kids and stuff? Geezes.

Here are some fun facts and figures for you:

• Median household income is $51,400 (2013)
• Median income for Asian Americans is $66,000 (2013)
• 29.22% of households earn more then $75,000 (2011)
• You can't afford a $350,000 home on $75,000 a year (2008)
• 15% of Americans making $75k or more don't have health insurance (2012)
• Happiness is love, and $75,000 (2011)

The good news is I don't make anywhere near that much, the bad news is, I certainly have been blowing money like I do! It may be time to consider moving to a different place. Like, you know, Thailand. From what I've gathered, my fixed expense for rent and bills is about thirteen hundred a month. Which isn't even that high for New York. Variable expenses, well, are variable. Below is what a typical month has been like the past six months, by approximate numbers. H.E.L.P.

• Rent: $1000
• Dining Out: $1000
• Travel: $450
• Play: $400
• Transportation (Taxi/Subway): $300
• Bills (Phone/Utilities/Netflix): $250
• Gifts: $200
• Groceries: $150
• Shopping: $150
• Miscellaneous: $250

Man on the Run

Back from camp! Over at this post I more or less detailed what we did while we were away, device-less for a weekend. But some of the other stuff that I didn't get to talk about was what it felt like to be there. When I returned, I told George that it was "magical," and it was. The purported goal of the camp was to feel like a kid again, and while that was accomplished from an events level, I think it was also supposed to reflect on how we interacted with people.

By not talking about work, or revealing our real names, and generally just blocking away the outside world, it felt like we were in a dream time experience. There were moments when I was walking around in the woods, with my lone flashlight guiding the way, when I thought "Man, this is fantastic, this is what I want every day to be like!" For me, adult camp was less of a getaway, as my general day to day is pretty structure-less.

While I'm generally not a rah rah spirit type of person, I made myself do it during most of camp. I decided that I had to buy in when I could, and even though there were group events when I felt myself recoiling from the group, I tried to push myself into the fray and cheer and stuff. Very unlike me. From my talks with other fellow campers, this was a challenge for a lot of other people too. To suddenly have their introvert or insecurities ("Do they like me?") challenged and brought to the forefront.

While many people at camp took the opportunity to have meaningful conversations -- which was encouraged due to the ethos and circumstances -- I found myself going the other way, just shallow. In real life I want to get to know people but at camp I found myself mainly interested in light conversations that didn't consist of more than a few generalities. I figured I wouldn't see most of these people again, and that felt freeing.

There was a silent dinner, during which you didn't say anything, or even look at the people around you. It was an experience. It's eerie to have a few hundred people seated and eating, without any sounds save chewing and clickety clacking of silverware -- plus a violin in the background. One thing the counselors said was that was as soon as you make eye contact with someone, you are already formulating what to say or how to react.

Disconnect to reconnect, that was kind of the theme of the camp. I'm not sure if I felt reconnected afterwards, but reflecting upon the experience after a week has made me feel like summer camp will be a definite highlight of the year.

• Into the Woods and Away from Technology
• How I Survived Without Tech at Digital Detox Camp
• Inward Bound: Summer Camp for Adults (and Joyful Hippies, Curmudgeon-y Tech Addicts and Wonderful Weirdos)
• A Trip to Camp to Break a Tech Addiction

DLMOU is back after like an eight month sojourn through various countries, including four in India. I was talking to him about how hard it must be to talk to people about his experiences. I mean, I felt like I couldn't really convey how camp was, and that was just a few days. Aside from the day to day of what happened, how do you tell people about what a journey you'd been on? It's impossible I feel, or at least beyond the scope of my abilities. Short of something dramatic changing, the minute observations and shifts in mood are hard to capture and describe.

"You just had to be there." I guess.

Also, finding out fellow camper's real names and occupations afterwards has been interesting. Aside from the sheer parlour game aspect of it, some of the people seemed downright amazing. Artists, writers, tech people, entrepreneurs. A few of the people I briefly exchanged work info with totally undersold what they do. After a few Google searches, I was just cowed and inspired. People doing cool shit, everywhere!

• Young Guns: Sister Act (2010)
• Industry Insiders: Slice of Life (2010)
• Andrew and Miki
• Forest Stearns: Draw Everywhere

Shadowrun

For a week or so, summer weather hit New York hard. I struggled to find water to jump into, but of course none was had. (Summer goal: Meet someone with a pool!) The humidity was so intense I even resorted to wearing a tank top. I never realized how much cooler one is, since San Diego is rarely that cold, especially up by Del Mar. I found myself just wanting to wear tank tops the rest of the sure to be sweltering summer, with a linen shirt to go over it if I needed to get fancy.

Of course, after a few days of intense heat, the rains came and drowned out all dreams of summer actually being here. When we left New York to head to Vegas -- site of 100+ degree weather -- our plane was delayed an hour and a half due to pounding rain and low visibility. Ridiculous.

In Vegas, Jimmy got married, with a small ceremony that lasted exactly 8:37 minutes, from the moment his wife walked down the aisle to their "You may kiss the bride." We bet on how long the thing would last, and true to Vegas form, it was short short short. Jimmy provided an exciting moment of levity when he butter fingered away his ring, recovering to catch it right before it hit the floor. It made me flashback to our times playing football, when Jimmy would invariably drop every pass I threw to him. Yet when he played for the other team, his huge mitts would Calvin Johnson snatch every pass in his vicinity. I was sure it was personal.

At dinner, we figured out that I'd known Jimmy for almost twenty five years, although we couldn't pin down the exact time we met. We grew up doing endless amounts of sports, video games, RPGs, and all that wonderful stuff. When I was homesick and dying out in barren Michigan, Jimmy was the only person who came out to visit me. A true friend! He also organized George and I's surprise high school graduation party. And I'm sure he's done lots of other nice things, but since we have an antagonistic brotherly relationship, I can only say so many good things.

During a summer trip to Warner Springs, where we had parent-free weekends once we came of age, Jimmy once said that he wished he wouldn't know any of us in ten years. Well, that didn't quite work out did it? Also, during one of our Warnerpalooza trips, we got him some long/short underwear emblazoned with "Powder's Booty" for his birthday. Jimmy was pale as shit all the time, as he worked hard to maitain his FOB-hood. It's still one of my favorite photos.

I'm actually trying to write a book right now, about little Asian gangsters, partially based on Jimmy's experience in high school. I'm naming the lead character after him, and it's hopefully going to be a heist novel, with some of Michael Douglas' The Game thrown in, crossed with a touch of Better Luck Tomorrow. Given the chance, I'm going to dress the character like Jimmy too, in all white vest and pant suit ensembles, sometimes black, with those long bangs that screamed "punk."

As this was the first time Mae was meeting my home friends, I noticed that trying to explain how everyone knew each other, and the complex web of who/when shared history, it's just unwieldy. Will Facebook one day take over this task? Can it do it already? Will social networks get to the point where you can at one glance see how close two people are, or used to be, and provide a semi-personalized timeline of a friendship? That would have some utility right?

Got in a little run today. My friend, whom I talked about a few months back, is still in San Diego, with a fresh haircut, a new car to replace his bike, and an entrepreneur business that he just started. I was happy to hear that he's happy with his new direction. Every Wednesday, he plays ball up at this gym in Carlsbad and I got up there as quick as I could.

I haven't seen much of the Spurs versus Heat Finals, but I've been reading tons of articles online. All season long, Grantland has been pounding in the idea that outside shooting, spacing, and corner threes are of utmost importance for new age offensive juggernauts. Well, playing with these Carlsbad guys, that's all true. Usually, at the level of pickup I play, only one or two players are actual three point threats. At this court, almost everybody can shoot, and most of them from beyond the arc.

The game really does become drive and dish, spot up and chuck. I can't do either of those, of course, but the passing lanes are wide open and it's always much funner to play with people who actually know how to fill space and cut to the basket. They also played with a time clock in case nobody could efficiently score eleven points, and the short ten minute runs made people give max effort the whole time. My team played three games in a row and I was dead tired by the end.

This body isn't built for moving at top speed for more than three minutes at a time. It's not even a decline anymore, it's just gone. Poof.

Ways and Means: May

Here's what's been happening so far. My "budgeting" has basically been "tracking," as I've been nowhere close to my budget for months. In fact, I've been at least a thousand dollars over my proposed budget each month. I'm operating in the red! Also, as George pointedly pointed out, since my monthly income doesn't match my expenditures, what I'm really doing is digging into my savings.

I have to reiterate here: "What savings?"

Money in equals money out, my accounting system is very simple. For some reason this bothers George highly and she'd prefer if I declare what I have in the bank as "income." That will not be happening as it just confuses me. Instead I'll just continue as I've been doing. Which is overspending.

This month, the one where I was committed to getting underneath my budget, started off so well. About twenty days in, I was right on pace to limbo under my desired number. I was getting all ready to crow about my fiscal restraint and impending victory. (We're doing this thing now where the most budget blower-er gets their photo showcased on the Budget Club GroupMe. It's for public shaming purposes, obviously.)

Instead I've somehow managed to spend about 185% of my budget, which means it's been my worst month since January. Yes, I'm regressing. What follows is a pathetic attempt to absolve myself of my sins.

My big ticket items this month were an investment in my future. Namely a MoviePass and Citibike. For the low low price of $125 and $95 respectively, I'll have free movies for three months and bike share for a year. MoviePass is about forty bucks a month and for that you get to watch up to one movie a day. So far in June, I've already used it three times, what a steal right?

My initial hopes was that Citibike would replace my taxi-ing or some subway-ing but it's more likely to just cut down my commute. (I say "commute" like I have places to be. That is all lies, as we know.) At best, I think Citibike will shave off a handful of taxis each month. Maybe. After observing how traffic rips through Manhattan streets, it's probably a great idea for me to ride around as little as possible in the city. I mean, until I get a helmet at least. AMR already helped me pick out some safety lights -- which I belatedly found out each Citibike already includes -- and soon I'll be armoring up my noggin. My Citibike key hasn't arrived yet, but I'm really excited to cut my to/from subway commute from a ten minute walk to a three minute ride.

What? Getting a skateboard last month was supposed to be for commuting too? I've gone out on it four times already! Exactly what are you trying to say?

Travel fees were a doozy this month too. This upcoming adult camp will cost about five hundred total, including the puddle jump from San Diego to San Francisco. I'm sure you'll agree that for a once in a lifetime experience, that's dirt cheap. Plus, I had to change my ticket back from California for a hefty fee because George requested that I stick around long enough to overlap with her and Ameer's trip back home. So that should be exorcised from my budget I say.

Other than those subscription services and the travel, I was damn close to sticking on the rest of my budget. I mean, I only went about 120% over on dining out and playing, and despite doubling up on groceries, shopping, and gifts, they were all for good causes. Amazing causes even.

Amidst all this doom and gloom and one step forward equals five steps back, I'm in semi-decent shape because book money dropped in, and with a surprise to boot. The damn thing hit the bestseller list and with that came a bit of a bonus. Woohoo! How's that for unexpected news? So not only has my career just peaked, I'll be able to glide into the summer footloose and fancy free. Unless I want to take this opportunity to secure my financial future for fall. Although that just sounds like too much foresight.

Here's hoping to a cheapo June as I spend most of it at home in burritoville, right after a Vegas wedding weekend that will drain me of any monies I've accumulated. Already, buying the ticket to a fancy club has been ghastly. It's okay though because when in doubt, hit the roulette table and bet it all on black!

• ATM Visits: Six times, no fees
• Dining out: Forty times, high of $45
• Cabs: Seven
• Shopping: Various Amazon stuffs, one music album, a movie download, five books
• Play: Four movies, Rub-a-Grub party, a couple of drink nights
• Biggest expenses: Camp Grounded ($360), Flights and change fees ($300), MoviePass ($125), CitiBike Annual ($100), Hakkasan ticket ($85)

First Thing We Need To Do

The best part about meeting friend's whatevers is evaluating them, am I right? Now we've been known to be harsh/asshole judgers, but is it really that hard to be personable for one evening? People have accused us of being overly critical but if somebody can't pull their shit together to be nice for an hour, I'm out!

As self appointed captain of the "we hate you" club, I am often channeling all the shit for others. Even if I personally may like someone, I am easily fired up to character assassinate them. It's a calling. And let me point out that it's usually a boyfriend. For some reason males have a real hard time being nice. So bonus points for having a boyfriend who puts in a bit of an effort. Reasons we have hated on people in the past:

• Wearing douchey t-shirts ("I fake it too.")
• Being sullen, why come along if you're just going to be annoyed?
• Busting out in native tongue when they are horrible at it
• Being real boring, looking visibly bored, especially if it's the first time meeting people
• Attempting to pay for the table when they don't know anyone
• Trying too hard to be cool, or trying to talk down to people
• Digging around in the fridge/cupboard for food, uninvited
• Bringing along three/five/more wack friends
• Bad tweet / social media game
• Silent, never saying a single thing, yet they are taking up valuable space for the RSVP
• Constant drama, the significant other that always drags your friend away for a "talk"
• Unable to take a little joking, especially when it's not about them
• "The Whisperer," can't say anything out loud, thus making our friend the spokesperson

As you can see, the list can go on and on. Mostly at this point in life, we're just happy for our friends to have found somebody. There's a lot of leeway given for personal preference and "oh they just look happy." But if you can't bring a C+ game to the table, or show some effort for your significant other's close friends, see ya! Hate hate hate.

Please give me any specific reasons you, or your group of friends have hated significant others in the past. I'm collecting anecdotes. It's for an upcoming piece, I swear. Plus I want to hear about other people's judge-y stories.

In other news, great long weekend! Aside from finding a boba place in midtown that serves a special drink called "three guys" -- boba, pudding and grass jelly -- I jumped around from place to place, each time ending up happy and full. I celebrated a three month milestone by ringing it in with Before Midnight. As I have a very strong emotional attachment to the series, I had a few rules about watching it. I needed to see it with as few people in the theater as possible, I could only watch it with die hard Before Sunrise fans, and I needed to watch it asap to prevent spoilers. Somehow all those qualifications were fulfilled, mainly by stepping into an almost midnight showing way up at Lincoln Center.

I can't say anything about the actual film, because my views would taint other people's viewing of it. But if you've seen it, please let's talk about it. The Before movies only come every nine years, and this could be the last. In fact, I kind of hope it's the last.

On Sunday, we started off at Pam's pig roast in Williamsburg and then scurried over to Bed-Stuy for Rub-a-Grub, a party DJed by Ali Shaheed Muhammed, of ATCQ and Lucy Pearl fame. Needless to say, it was a great time. If this is the new high bar for a summer dance party, then it might be all downhill from here. While the Do or Dine backyard was small, it was perfectly sized for a crowd that was packed but not too much. By the end, we had moved to the back to dance on chairs and tables. I'm really hoping Brooklyn outdoor parties will be the theme of the summer.

I recently downloaded Bobbito's streetball documentary, Doin' It In the Park. It's not good general audience fare -- unlike, say,  Beats, Rhymes, and Life, which everyone should see -- but for basketball junkies, this thing is a must view. Tell me if you're interested in watching it, I have a copy.

Two weekends ago, I got up to a gym in Chelsea. Finding a free indoor gym in New York is next to impossible, so I was delighted to get invited. When we moved to Jersey City, I told Linda to sign the lease immediately, sight unseen, as soon as she told me there was an indoor (half-)court. This court was only the size of a wide hallway, which meant that there was only room for two on two, and a very tight two on two at that.

I haven't touched a basketball since December so it was a struggle. I wore my Chucks, which quickly tore blisters onto my feet. I believe I even fell down trying to post up, when my ankle buckled. It was an inglorious beginning to my basketball season. I hope I'll be invited back, but if not I'm gonna have to take my game to the streets. By which I mean the bench.

We'll Always Have Summer

A few years ago, a friend and I, in an attempt to stay in touch once she moved cross country, kept a photo diary that was just random images from our day. No organization, no commentary, just a quick glimpse. Considering we're both horrible at keeping in touch, this was our shared solution. We did pretty good too, going strong for three months and keeping the site alive for about six. It ended when I moved to New York that winter.

Now along comes Days, a iPhone app for doing exactly what we did: using photos to stay in touch. What's the difference between this and say, Instagram? I think it's more a culture thing. Days prevents you from retouching your photos, it's supposed to simply be a record of events. It's supposed to be ugly (and probably boring) by design. I would have scoffed at such an idea if I didn't have that blogging experience with my friend. I mean, who really needs another photo app to document your life? Between Facebook, Instagram, Path, etc. it's more often you'll see three versions of the same photo. With Twitter for little thoughts and links, you could hypothetically know more about someone just by following all their shit online than actually seeing them.

Which is, in a way, what I expect people to do. I've recently discovered that I'm pretty bad at keeping people in the loop. I dislike catching up, I can't stand recapping stuff, I don't know how to fill friends in. But without those things, you can't really move forward I guess. Generally I just assume that if someone cares, they can check out my blog, my moblog, whatevers. Really, who has time for the minutiae of people's lives? I can barely keep track of what I've done, much less stay up to date on the lives of the people around me.

But that means you're also missing out, I guess. The minutiae is what bonds people, not to mention it often tends to yield the more interesting stuff. Unlike me, my friend has a friendship model where she's in constant contact with her close friends. I'm basically in zero contact with my close friends. I've generally always been that way. My top five friends from college and on, I'd probably see most of them once or twice a year, at most. And speak with them on the phone about as often.

Actually, for most of my twenties, my current roommate was one of those top five people, and now that we're in close proximity, we see each other only in passing. Our first excursion together into the city was two weeks ago. This after living here for six months. And we're both great with that. Different models, different ways of being close. Although it could be argued that not knowing what's going on could be construed as not that close. A debate for another time.

The friend I did the blog with, I haven't even seen since being in New York, despite being separated by a mere five miles or so. Maybe we need to get on Days.

• Days app review
• Day One App
• Why To Journal & Why Day One (2013)

In early April, after our skateboarding session in Central Park, JMZ and I went to pick up Jenn at her work place on the Upper West Side. Hungry for a bite, we parked at a wine bar in Midtown and then proceeded to chat up a wonderful lady who wowed us with her verve for life. She looked forty, was sixty, and did New York like it's supposed to be done. She ran NYC's events marketing, her daughter was just off to college, and her social life never slowed throughout the decades. An inspiration to all.

After about an hour or so, her dinner friend arrived and the five of us had a good time chatting it up while the rain poured outside. We hit it off so well that Rachel invited us to her house for dinner. Apparently Rachel and her husband did a dinner party each month where they invited ten semi-friends or near strangers. It was a thing to meet new people, and to eat good food. That "D.I.N.N.E.R." happened a few weekends ago, as the three of us trekked up to Harlem.

Strangely, despite how often I've hung out with JMZ and Jenn, we've never really done the social thing as a trio before. Mostly I'd say it worked out well, and the dinner was fun and a good experience. Our hosts were tremendous and they showed us their art works and projects. Having a house gathering in New York seems like such a novelty, but perhaps only to my personal sphere. I guess you can't really invite people over for dinner unless you cook…and have the space for it. Rachel's apartment had a big round dinner table that seated everyone, which was impressive by New York standards.

Another night, I was talking to my other friend about how we'd like to switch over some friends. Not friend dump per se, but like a culling. New people, new perspectives, new conversations. I've been feeling this way for awhile, and had been waiting for summer -- when people come out to play -- to implement this. My friend and I compared it to adding a new wardrobe for the season. Out with the old, in with the new. This may seem shallow, but it's really more about shaking things up, or being a bit tired of it all.

In June I'm headed to a wedding in Vegas, followed by a short sprint in San Diego, and a very short jaunt up to San Francisco for Camp Grounded. The latter is a "summer camp for adults." Then it's back to New York to fully enjoy summer. The weather is still not shorts ready yet, but soon it will be.

New York is about to start its bike sharing program and I have visions of myself zipping around as I drink lots of calamansi juice. Calamansi is my new non-alcoholic drink of the summer. I don't know how my Filipinos have failed me, since not one of them have ever told me about calamansi juice. I'm hoping Jamba starts incorporating it into their lineup soon. And courtesy of Amit, my alcoholic drink of the summer is Grey Goose and soda, with a splash of pineapple. It's appropriately called "The Amit."

Oh yeah, I had a book come out last week. I'd nearly forgotten about it. It's ghostwritten so I'll be flogged for publicly revealing the title. The cover is shiny and pretty to touch. Seven years, three books. I'm on a roll. Clearly.

Ring the Alarm

The other day, AMR blogged about his first cell phone. I thought I had to do the same, as everyone knows my cell phone is closer to me than most humans are. A mobile phone has been my loyal companion through more than thirteen years of friendships, and contributed mightily to my personhood. In all that time, I've never lost a cell phone, never dropped one in a toilet, and only got one stolen recently. Not bad right?

If you've ever seen my phone, it's always kept in immaculate condition, with a case -- sometimes two, the "double bag method" -- to protect it. Call me anal, call me paranoid, I just don't like to risk my phone's well being. Also, I can't have any liquids near my phone. The number one cause of cell phone damage is from being left out on top of a table. Or taking it to the bathroom. I'm sure of it. As AMR was helping me hunt down old cell phone photos, he hypothesized that we were having a hard time because most of our photos during a certain era were taken during eating sessions, or the poker table -- where beer and snacks were plentiful -- and my phone was safely tucked away.

I was also looking for photos of my notorious array of cell phone belt holders, but they are nowhere to be seen either. I think it's all the baggy clothes worn during the mid-2000s. I should probably be thankful for those oversized t-shirts. No evidence remains of my clear fashion faux pas. A few years ago, we did a peer-to-peer fashion evaluation poll and a comment I received was, "Ditch the cell phone carrier." Thank you friends, duly noted.

What follows is my history of cell phones. As you'll see, I never went in for the phones that flipped, or had external antennas. Also, I liked nothing better than to swap out phone covers. I thought a cell phone cover spoke a lot about a person. Do I still? Probably.

Nokia 5110 (AUG 1999)
Entering senior year at Michigan, I was one of the last kids around to get a cell phone. I think I was still just really attached to my white pager. The first weekend back at school, I got a phone call from my friend in the middle of the night. Somehow she knew my number even though I hadn't memorized it yet. They were drunk and needed some help. I walked down a few blocks to the post-party and somehow successfully carried a girl out of a basement and then back to our apartment. I banged her head a few times, I'm sure of it. To this day, this stands as the most heroic and manly thing I've ever done. All hail, cell phone.

The 5110 stayed with me for many years, finally succumbing to battery death. It started off encased in orange but I eventually threw on some blue Hawaiian flowers. You know, to be Californian. Also, this phone had some reception issues, if I recall. I had to buy thin booster strips off eBay and stick them behind the battery.

Nokia 3595 (MAR 2004)
On an old blog, I covered the transition from the 5110 to 3595 in some detail. This side photo is an actual image of my phone, scuffed on the case, and with an important hack on the screen: a Calvin background. For some reason, this is the only phone I have with photos of it in the wild.

The case initially was just another version of my previous blue Hawaiian flowers, but then I transitioned to this fish phone cover that had colorful clown fish all over it. Some called it ugly, I called it strategy. My philosophy was that the brighter the phone, the harder it would be to lose. After I moved on from the Nokia, AMR used my fish phone case for awhile. Somehow neither of us have photos of that cover. Clearly we were slacking.

Here's a fun story. On the 3595, you could assign icons to show up when a particular person called. A coffee cup, a head, a digitized house, a flower, etc. I asked my then girlfriend which one she wanted to be. She picked the daisy. Then I assigned the rest of the icons to my other frequently dialed numbers. One day, my (female) best friend called and what did my girlfriend see next to her name? A heart. Cue explosion! I tried to use some form of defense that she could have chosen the heart but since she didn't, I had to assign it to someone else.

You can imagine how well that explanation worked.
Also, speed dial was a big issue. In my head, I had this whole hierarchy of who was where on the speed dial. #1 was voicemail, #2 was someone more important than #3, and so on. Except for #5, I reasoned that since that was the middle of the dial pad, that's where I should stick the person I spoke to the most. Needless to say, that was not my girlfriend. My friend Meesh's number was lodged permanently at #5 on all my phones.

Sidekick 2 (OCT 2004)
Ever since the original Danger Hiptop came out, I had lusted after it. AMR was ahead of me and got the original but when T-Mobile finally got the Hiptop, I was ready to jump aboard. Rebranded "Sidekick," this phone was way ahead of its time. Internet access, a fantastic keyboard, the ability to chat with people on AIM, it was the best! (Danger also created personalized sites for its users, called a "hip logs," for photos. That became the precursor to our moblogs.)

This awesome technological breakthrough allowed me to text and talk at the same time. Since the buttons were so tactile and perfectly placed, I trained myself to talk to someone in front of me while at the same time chatting or texting. People around me loved it, I'm sure.

At the height of my Sidekick use, I was texting my friend like a hundred times a day. She had to up her cell phone plan because we texted so often. Obviously, my girlfriend (a different one) wasn't as big of a fan of my Sidekick. Of the contributing factors to our eventual breakup, I would say the Sidekick ranked in the top three. She threatened to break it more than once.

iPhone (2007)
Finally, the promised land. AMR and I had been tracking the iPhone for some time, and when the time came to buy one, I didn't hesitate. Well, I didn't hesitate on the buying, but I didn't open the box until a week or so later. After all, paying $600 for a cell phone seemed slightly ridiculous. But when a friend asked to buy my unopened phone for her boyfriend's birthday, I panicked and ripped the box open. Mine, mine!

I had some initial gripes about the iPhone but those were quickly washed away. Since then I've upgrade twice -- 3GS and 5 -- and am loyal for life. Until they can implant a cell phone in my head or something. Then I'll switch. That original iPhone went on to have a happy second life, as I bequeathed it to my technologically backward friend. She had my music and contacts on there long after it was hers.

There are no stories about how the iPhone impacted my relationships, because I was single throughout its reign. Sorry, no passive aggressive instances of mobile phone use to kill relationships here. I'm so mobile phone mature now.