This is 38

Recent changes I’ve made to my lifestyle: I wake up anywhere from 10-11AM (as I mentioned in my last post), I don’t sleep in late, I’m rarely not in bed by midnight or so. I swim as many days as I can, just laps laps laps. I am looking into buying a house. I am looking into getting a real-ish type job. I looked into transferring my credits to UMich for graduation, I sewed a button onto my shorts the other day. I learned how to put air in my tires. Basically, I’m heavy duty adulting!

What brought about this change? Well, to be honest, it’s age. About a year ago, I was at the crossroads of figuring out what to do. With a late thirties birthday looming, I was trying to figure out if I could keep on doing what I did — running around, running away, keeping it moving — or if I would have to tack the other direction, which would equal settling down and figuring shit out.

Well, the germination of the idea was there last year, even if I wasn’t really thinking about actual stuff until a few months later. But the thought of continually running around was getting tiring, I must admit, even if I still thought I might have one more go in me. But as it turns out, maybe not, since New York didn’t hold much appeal for me this past summer.

And to be honest, since turning thirty-eight just a month or so ago, everything just screams that I need to stay put somewhere. Like now I’m a tag-a-long to adult dinners with my mom, I am seeking out older people’s advice, and I am, like, making actual plans for the future. This is like kind of all shocking stuff. Especially when I'm catching friends up on events if we haven't communicated in awhile.

People, you wouldn’t even recognize me anymore. And not just because I shaved my head again — a return to my bald form that hasn’t been seen since late 2013. Oh yeah, I even put my hands on a shovel and gardened one day, helping AMR and George clear some tubers in their front yard. I willingly touched dirt, cue the apocalypse!

In addition, I’m basically a recluse. I don’t go out anywhere, I stay at home all day, and there’s only one friend I see with any regularity. This one friend is like the activities coordination for many things, so she’s always inviting me to stuff, which I appreciate. But so far I've only done a few things, like gone downtown once, attended a trivia night, saw a play, popped into to my other friend’s book release, went to an art show, and stumbled through a dance class. Plus I play basketball weekly, as of three weeks ago.

And that’s about it. What I should be doing with all this free time is writing, and I mean to get to it, but I’ve been focusing on setting up a new podcast — The Redo, coming soon! — and otherwise have been trying to fill the day with odds and ends. The hours really stretch when you wake up early doesn’t it? I wouldn’t say I’m more productive, by any measure, but by 4PM I’m usually looking around for something to do.

Stuff like read a book, watch a Netflix series, listen to some podcasts, I dunno, anything to just kill time I guess. This is in direct contrast to George and AMR, who moved back to Poway a week before I arrived, and are quite busy setting up their house, taking care of a baby, and adjusting to their new life. I see them once or twice a week, and seeing as George’s Wednesdays are now her “off” days, sometimes we hit the mall or something. Or go to Home Goods, which is apparently an almost biweekly trip for George and my mom.

Today I re-watched The Big Short, and tried to figure out what I was doing in September of 2008, as the world economy was about to collapse. Basically I was living in San Diego but was visiting San Francisco for Tien’s wedding and our thirtieth birthday. I had just come off a magical August re-visit to New York, which would plant the seeds for me eventually moving out there.

I believe I was pulling unemployment that year — and had just sold a book — and so was living high bouncing back and forth between San Diego and San Francisco a lot. So yeah, as the subprime mortgage crisis was occurring, I was having the time of my life. Oh right, but that was also right around when big shit was going down on the friend/romantic side, and that also jump started me getting the hell out of San Diego the following year, and setting off the so-called "golden triangle" of hopping. What a time.

Anyway, I’m back in San Diego. For awhile I think. Yay?

"I find that it often feels like critics use the city of San Diego as a lens through which to understand the Chargers’ weaknesses — lazy! Too much sun! Head in the clouds! — but I see the opposite: The Chargers’ stadium turmoil is the best way to understand San Diego. It is the second-largest city in California and eighth-largest in the United States, yet it continues to struggle to define itself outside of the weather and Anchorman references. Instead, San Diego is characterized by sweeping generalizations — 'America’s Finest City,' 'a bland, happy place' — the way politicians combine words to form platitudes that fail to say anything at all."
-A Preemptive Farewell to the San Diego Super Chargers-

Summer Blues

Alright, let’s do this. Hello May, June, July, where did you go? Well, May was seriously just buckling down and doing not all that much. I hosted a board game night at my house, saw the one old friend I basically have left here once or twice, and then got my shit together and ready to head out in June. But not before a quickie weekend trip to Los Angeles to meet up with some friends who were driving down from San Francisco.

The highlight was clearly going to the newly opened Harry Potter World at Universal Studios, but exploring  East LA was fun too. My friends AirBnBed a spot in Silver Lake and from there we set off on food adventures. With my friend cruise directoring the whole thing, it was very easy to just show up and eat. Throughout the whole trip we talked about how much appeal East LA had to us as a place to move to. Short answer: with the rise of Uber, and much less driving, it’s a lot!

For the full PotterWorld review and some more talk about (potentially) living in Los Angeles, listen to episode one of my forthcoming podcast with newish friend extraordinaire, Margot. Oh wait, I haven’t built that podcast yet. But I’m gonna get on it when I get the chance. I even bought a fancy new microphone to have better sound quality. So yeah, new podcast, arriving soon!

Teaser: I’m Ravenclaw.

Heading into June, I packed up everything into my standard suitcase and duffle bag and headed off to New York. Originally I was hoping to move in with my old roommate in Fort Greene but that plan didn’t come together so after some Craigslist and Facebook Group searching, I found a sublet in Stuy Town, on 18th Street and Avenue C. (I went through my week-by-week in New York on the other blog, so I’ll skim through most of it here. Just the highlights!)

Oh, before I got over to New York, I stopped by Indiana for two nights, to see my uncle and talk some business stuff. Get business stuff cleared up mostly. I had been there four years before, when I was just starting to work seriously with the company again. The experience this time was understandably different, and I didn’t 100% need to go, but it was good to stop by. Also, Obama was in town for a speech too, so the whole town was riled up, in a good and bad way. Put it this way, I’d never spoken to so many non-Obama people before. Eye opening. We all live in our bubbles eh?

The two big things I was in New York for was my friend’s wedding in late June and the bachelor party two weeks prior. I popped in the night before the bachelor party and then cruised over to my first burlesque show for the coed festivities.

My ex was there, and I made it even more awkward by not just stepping up right away and saying hello. So basically throughout the entire night — and the wedding itself — we just ignored each other. While this might have been fine on both parts, it seemed like not the right thing to do. Even a cordial “hi” would probably have been adult. Lesson learned: Just get the awkwardness out of the way early so that it fades. Instead I just let it linger. Seeing as last time we spoke we were literally fighting, maybe ignoring each other was the best. Anyways… Beautiful wedding, and I got to be a groomsman for the second time. Plus I wore a tux for the first time ever!

Most of early June was sucked up by the NBA Playoffs, which made me get out of the house — in search of a television — and also to see random friends here and there. My main go-to hang out buddy was my friend from Taiwan, as he had also just moved to New York from Taiwan. With our flexible schedules, we wandered around a lot, hitting up random Chinese food places to rate them, and getting boba.

I also got to visit JMZ and Jenn’s new house out in Brooklyn. It’s very homey, just like their old spot, and they’ve got a boatload of work to do to the backyard, the studio, and the basement. I can’t imagine ever owning a house where I have to do any improvements. I mean, can you? I can barely install a shower head. But JMZ and Jenn are well equipped for the job. A big highlight of June was seeing their upstairs neighbor’s performance of Eclipsed on Broadway. A reminder of the type of stuff that I can’t get elsewhere.

However, something was wrong as soon as I settled into New York. The streets were chaotic, dirty, and people bugged me all around. I thought the feeling would fade but it really didn’t. By the end of June, I was already plotting to get out of New York, cutting short my summer stay. But you already know that. (Since I’m backdating this and now on an entirely different continent.)

By July 4th, I knew I was heading out at the end of the month. So I made efforts to cram in as much as possible before I left. And in a shocker, I headed to the beach twice. After never going to any beach in New York before. The first time was to Long Beach, where my friend and I spent hours on the sand, sitting on beach chairs, chatting away, and never even getting in the water. The second time, my friend who had acquired a car to go with her parking spot — a super backwards move that makes sense only in Manhattan — wanted to get out for the weekend so we headed to Fire Island and spent a wonderful day lounging on the beach.

Both times made strong arguments for adding “beach” to further New York agendas. But only if you have someone to drive you there. No way I can stomach sitting on a train to the beach and back. Sorry,  I still prefer my beach less than ten minutes away.

Other July highlights: a five hour karaoke night that was just epic in energy, song selection, and personnel; going to watch Wicked for the fifth time; pulling a major favor from my friend to jam seven of us into her eighteen-seat restaurant, and then my first experience with Sleep No More. And then the night before I left, I had one of those New York nights I missed so much but didn’t really find much of this summer. It wasn’t even an all nighter or anything, but started off with a group dinner with friends and then spun out into some walking around, followed by grouping up different people at a bar/restaurant for fun conversation, and all the while adding/losing people — including my friend who just landed from Taiwan. The night ended around one in the morning, with a late night Flushing run scratched due to weather and fatigue, but it left me with the sense that the magic wasn’t gone. (I mean, is it ever gone in New York? Never completely right?)

Anyway, what is that called? A whiff of a memory? A glimpse of promise? Whatever it was, I was on a plane eighteen hours later, on my way to Brazil.

The Catch Up

Whoa, it’s May already! And not one single blog entry from your second-favorite intermittent blogger! How will anyone know what I’m up to, or what I’ve been doing, or what I’ve been thinking or where I’ve been?! The easy answer is, “Nobody cares!” The easier answer is, “I’ve been in Taiwan!” The easiest answer is, “I haven’t been doing anything, or thinking, or going anywhere!” That last bit isn’t true actually. I’ve been places. As you’ll see.

So, life update 2016, five months in, this is where we stand... I’m back in the United States. Good old U-S-A. To be honest, it’s jarring here sometimes, and I’m not 100% sure I want to be here. But the first week back was glorious. I reveled in driving to the grocery store. I loved Costco. I was so over Taiwan that my last few months were spent basically holed up in my mom’s apartment, emerging mainly to eat. So it was wonderful to feel bathed in American convenience and choices. And suburban lifestyle ain't bad for a second.

Somewhere along the way I stopped staying up super late at night and going out to clubs three times a week. In fact, I could probably count the number of times I went “out” in 2016 on one hand. Partially it was because I was having some back problems so uninterrupted sleeping was an adventure, but mostly because Taiwan was feeling too same old, same old.

I basically had a handful of people I was trying to see on a regular basis and that was it. Taiwan was over for me. It was super fun while it lasted but I felt dull inside and intellectually/creatively uninspired. Taipei is a wonderful city but bursting with vivacity it is not.

It was a good run for me though. November 2014 till March 2016. That’s a year and four months, minus maybe two months for when I was in the U.S. in August and November 2015. That’s the longest I’ve stayed put in one place since 2012-3. Back then it was a year and three months in New York. What’s funny is that I’m basically headed right back to New York, maybe even sliding back into my old apartment, with my ex-roommate. So, if things work out, hello roomie (again), hello New York (again), and hello Fort Greene (again).

In the meantime, I’ve been buckled down in San Diego for most of April, since returning in late March from Taiwan and immediately attending a friend’s fabulous Indian wedding in Arizona. Most of my tasks here have involved super cleaning my room — my mom is demanding it all be boxed up — and I finished that task a week ago. The Junk Fairy, the name of the father-son hauling company, came by to grab all my trash and now the rest of my possessions are in sixteen small boxes in the garage. I had thought my room was pretty clean before — since my mom was constantly making us clean things out when we came home — but apparently my room still had a ton of shit in it. Good bye heavy books, good bye old clothes, good bye irreplaceable sentimental items, DVDs, shelves full of toys, and other assorted crap. I didn’t quite go full on Kondo but I definitely decluttered the hell out of my room.

Note: I am approaching thirty-eight and still have a room at my mom’s house. That should probably change. It's far past a cautionary tale at this point. There are rumors that I’ll be trying to find a more permanent solution to my perpetual housing situation, but for now those are just rumors. I have felt a shift in myself though. Like I need a home base. Or at least a place to settle down. I may not have to stay there all the time, but when I need to go someplace I should go there/here. Sort of like Avengers Tower or something. Of course I would then need to get a job, to get some Stark money. And you know, grow up. I wonder what my credit rating is like...

In other news, I’m an uncle! Little Greta has bonded our family together like never before and with nothing else to speak about we can always just show each other photos of Greta. She is pretty much the cutest baby in the world, and I say that not even as her parent but as a slightly biased third party. I mean, objectively speaking, she’s pretty damn cute. Where else are you going to find a quarter-Persian, quarter-German-ish, half-Chinese baby?

I’ve only met her once, at the Arizona wedding, and she cried her little heart out each time because I’m terrible with babies. But I’m getting better. AMR and George are moving back to San Diego in the fall so Great will be raised on a pseudo-ranch with animals and wood shops and then when she comes of (teenage) age I will swoop into her life and teach her all things My So Called Life and well, My So Called Life.

People keep saying that I’ll get to be the cool uncle but Greta already has a cool uncle (AMR’s brother) and so I’ll have to think of another role for me to play. Maybe if I just write a book with her in it that will do. Of course, I'll have to write another book again. In the next thirteen years or so. That should be enough time right?

I’ve been trying to to rethink my writing career. As in, relaunch it. Jump start? Get it off ice? I can't even think in English anymore. Basically it's been ten years since my first book came out and I've not much to show for it, and so I’m gonna have a new name and everything to start over. Related, I’m overdue on a book proposal to Lilly, which I said I would finish before I left for the Philippines. A month and a half later, vacation tan faded and still no proposal. Old dog, same tricks.

Oh yeah, I went to the Philippines in March. Boracay to be exact. You can read all about it here. And also in January my friend came over from Maryland to take us on a road trip up the eastern coast of Taiwan. I’m sure I’ll post about that too. Actually Taiwan has been full of visitors for me. My New York friend also came out for a long weekend or so in January, and then in February my Bay Area friend hopped over from Japan to do writing retreat for two weeks. I’ll let you guess how much writing we did. The good news is that I got her working on her My So Called Life life spreadsheet. So that’s something.

And now I sit in my (fast) wifi hole and watch the NBA playoffs while trying to organize my life. The only due date on this year is late June, when I'm a groomsmen at a wedding, and other than that I'm a free agent. My heart is in Brazil, figuratively, but I'm not ready to go there yet. I feel the need for New York's energy and culture, something I've basically been empty on for the past year. And then what happens? I don't know. My plans have always been arbitrary, my goals non-existent, like I said I would be leaving Taiwan when so-and-so left. And now it's left. So what now?

Hi Greta!

That Can Only Mean One Thing

Halloween coincided with both Taiwan’s Gay Pride Parade and well, Halloween. Also something else was going on so it was like Taipei was filled with people that night. We started off going to a murder mystery party — I was JJ Scoop, a tabloid journalist, how fitting — and then we hopped to Xinyi district to a bar or two before settling in at Chess for one of the first proper nights I’d been out since being back.

Actually, I found myself there the next night too, for a bboy battle after-party, which was the same party I’d attended last year on this weekend. It may seem silly to point to one night to sort of the start of it all, but this was kind of it. My friend from Chess texted me at like 11PM and said that there was a party that I would probably like and even though I had been kind of tired, I popped over and then stayed there till 4AM, dancing the night away.

It was then that I met two guys I would become pretty good friends with, and also met my eventual hip hop instructor. Basically the party was so good that I kept going back to Chess over and over, hoping for that high again. While it never quite got that good again, it’s hard to deny that it was the catalyst for a lot of my Taipei social life. I literally used to go there like every Wednesday and a lot on Friday and Saturday. For the people who frequent Chess, it’s basically like Cheers and you see the same people over and over. Most of it is due to the fact that it’s the only place that consistently plays hip hop, and the crowd is also mostly ABCs and foreigners (but not “those” kind of expats) so there’s always dancing going on.

• Into The Knight: OTS Chess Club (2013)
• Thousandth Girl: Taipei Nightlife Guide 2015

Actually I was out of Taiwan mid-November, and it seemed like a rush the last two weeks. I got out to the golf course for C’s early birthday event, and while I hadn’t golfed in about fifteen years, I felt I represented myself well with about a +100 handicap. Seriously, it was whiff after whiff and dirt chunk after dirt chunk. The caddies there are overly helpful and they kind of shoo you off the hole as fast as possible to get the next group on. A little anxiety inducing actually.

There were a couple more late nights / early mornings and then it was time to prep to leave again. This time I was going to pack as light as possible, because I was only gone for three weeks, but my mom had also insisted that I box up all my stuff in Taiwan. Oh! Right before my last day in TPE, we went to get tattoos in Ximen. Getting three tattoos took all day but we waited around while we each took turns getting carved up. D1 got a compass on her upper leg, D2 got a Jimi Hendrix lyric, and I got an outline of Taiwan filled with Taiwan-y designs. And then J and I headed off to Korea!

A&J used to live in Taipei but left us maybe June-ish. They were the center of one group of my Taiwan friends and with them gone, we are all still friends but without the central connection, like a friend donut. A is the retail manager for a large fashion brand and so he had to move to a bigger market, and of course J went with him. They were my perfect married couple, with A around for basketball and guy stuff, and J for (some) Shida and writing. Plus they hosted our Game of Thrones nights!

Their place in Seoul was super nice and I did my best to wake up for day time activities. Korea was a little chilly and thank goodness I got a thicker jacket aside from my denim one. One night J and I went to Dongdaemun, which is this shopping area that houses huge malls that are open until 5AM. The shopping in Korea seemed fantastic, even just the little amount I touched. Everyone is so much better dressed than in Taiwan and I can immediately see why Korean fashion influences so much of the rest of Asia (not to mention the U.S.). I got a few very necessary items and next time back I’m totally gonna take the subway and eat some street food!

While in Korea, I found out D was called back to her native Brazil, totally unexpectedly. She was originally going to go back in February but her parents said for her to come home now. After some initial panic and much sadness — my whole plan had been to leave Taiwan when D left — I changed my airplane ticket to fly back to Taiwan and spend the last few days hanging out with her. Originally I was supposed to go direct from Korea to San Diego, but in my mind we would like never see each other again so we had to hang out now!

So I headed back to TPE for three days, kind of helped her pack, and basically just soaked in our last few times together. It also sort of marked the end of my time here, at least in my mind. Sure, I’d be right back and sure there was still lots of people and things in Taiwan, but having spent a year hanging out and all that, it was like the vacation was over. I don’t know what I’m gonna do moving forward but with the arbitrary mid-February date off the table, I need to turn my attentions to what happens in 2016?!

"Ever since I left the city you…"

TPE: October

Annnnd, another two month stint in Taiwan, with late November as an exit date due to L’s wedding back in San Diego. I started off with a trip to the night market to stuff my face and then spent a couple of days settling in until I headed out to Kaoshiung to help out for a friend’s event company.

“C-Team” got in a car and road tripped all the way down to the bottom tip of Taiwan, blasting music all the way. Once there, we were tasked with helping out for Mr. Gay Taiwan and mostly did the flower arranging and setup day-of. It was super fun, mainly because I love teamwork and people pulling together. Plus it’s just fun to get out of your usual space with some friends. More road trips!

The next couple of days included stopping by a Twitter friend’s art show, a Taipei friend’s music show, and then sort of hanging out and catching up with people. Apparently when people leave Taiwan they don’t normally make it back so some people were surprised. “Oh, you really did come back!” Little do they know, that I always come back (eventually), like a bad rash or something. I was already entering slight hibernation mode before I left for the summer and this time back I was in total hibernation mode. I wasn’t really trying to go out anywhere, I didn’t go dancing or anything anymore, and mainly I just wanted to sit at home and watch Netflix and lie around.

Technically I had nothing to do in Taiwan so I tasked myself with trying to finish the book proposal for something, but you can guess how that worked out. Whoops. Near mid-October, V&A came through Taiwan to visit, so I hung out with them during the week they were here. Mostly by day though, as they were jet lagged and passing out early (by my standards). V and I got to hit some Ubikes the last day or two he was here, and that was quite fun.

Other events to round out October: a trivia night where we played Sporcle and Buzz Quiz World (!), my friend’s Chinese burrito making night, and attending the last bit of Story Slam, which led to much talk about podcasting. Actually, the main thing I’ve been thinking about while out here is what sort of podcast to do, and how to get my podcast game better. One of A’s friends that I met last year is a radio/TV person out here and so I’m gonna have him teach me how to make a proper podcast.

It’s been just over a year since I moved to Taiwan and looking back it’s been jam packed with people, things, and experiences. Last time F and I came out to visit Taipei, my inaugural visit, was September 2014, and by a month later I had moved out here. I went karaoking with those friends I met back then, and they said that the last time they had gone was with us — over thirteen months ago!

I wouldn’t say time flies or anything like that but it sure seems like I’ve spent so much of my life in Taipei already, and gone through so many sets of people and groups. Currently I basically hang out on a constant rotation with three friends, none of whom I knew until December of last year.

And then, in late October, L came over for a visit too, almost exactly a year after she came out here last year. Last time she was here we had a super great time biking and exploring Taipei and now I’m good friends with the friend she introduced me to. She came last time for her cousin’s wedding and (sadly) this time for her grandmother’s passing ceremonies. We took a little side trip to Yilan to visit C, who is housesitting there for two months. I’d been to Yilan before, on a road trip with D&I last May or so. This time Yilan was straight pouring but we had one wonderful day that allowed us to drive around and visit the local Taiwanese opera museum.

Oh yeah, my mom came back to Taiwan around the end of October and within three days had had enough of my late night antics and well, there’s more to be said there but the short story is: “get out.”

Do You Hear the People Sing?

For my dad’s American service, some of his friends got together and made a little booklet of photos and essays and nice things about him. It was printed up and bound and distributed at the funeral. The majority of it’s in Chinese and even after six months of intense Mandarin study in Taiwan, I still can’t read any of it. If I were a different person, that would be a goal. To one day be able to read through this thing. I mean, there’s got to be a lot of anecdotes and stories in there, stuff I’d never hear anywhere else right?

Actually, from what I can gather, 90% of the memories and essays are about golf. My dad was quite the prolific golfer and had a hand in starting the Lower Handicap Golf Club — San Diego’s premier Chinese golf club, I’m certain — serving as its first president. Basically that’s why everyone in the community knew who he was. Most of the English words in these essays are a reference to a particular golf course or stuff like “double bogey, pitching, driver, greens.” There’s also score sheets I think, some possibly in my dad’s own hand.

(There’s also something in there about my mom and “surprise” being yelled out but again, I can’t read enough of it to figure out what the surprise was. My name wasn’t in that piece so clearly it’s not a “surprise, your son dropped out of school” story or anything.)

Also, there’s a page whose lone English word is “newsletter.” That made me recall that my dad used to write newsletters for the LHGC. I mean, I think he did. Well, I’m sure he did, because that’s the kind of thing he would do. Just like I keep overly detailed blogs for my fantasy leagues… I think we both just kind of like community and connecting, although he was more of a showman than I was. By a long shot. He was good with jokes and stories and seemed like he liked being on stage or performing.

Anyway, it’s fitting that this is coming in newsletter format. Unsubscribe at your leisure!

I saw on Facebook that a friend’s father passed away. My general rule of thumb about that kind of thing is to not say anything until I see them. Like I did with a friend in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. I knew that her dad has passed away but didn’t want to bring it up until I was there, face to face.

I think coming from my perspective, it just seems like the last thing you’d want to do during that time is answer a whole bunch of condolence messages. Even just responding with “thanks” can seem like a burden. At least it would seem like that to me.

My friend in Taiwan, about a month ago, was sitting bedside by her friend (really, more a friend of a friend) when she suddenly passed away. Throughout the ensuing week or so of chaos, my friend took it upon herself to see to the arrangements. Like telling everyone what had happened (nobody really knew, as she had been in the hospital the previous day under observation and testing), reaching out to the family overseas (whom the girl had not been communicating with for years), and then organizing a donation campaign to cover costs. I guess that’s one of the perils of living in a foreign country without health insurance or your family/people around.

Anyway, my friend went through an unbelievable amount of shit that week, both physical, emotional, and spiritual. She broke down in tears multiple times, she sort of had her own life blow apart for a moment, it was kind of a mess, but through it all she was simultaneously so strong and so generous throughout. I know I couldn’t have done it. Be that helpful and generous. I would have been like “this is for her family (estranged or not) to take care of.” And ran out of there.

I want to reach out to my friend, the one whose dad passed away, to tell her that I know, and to offer up an ear if necessary, but I also don’t because I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it then. (Or would it be a nice gesture just to send a quick message, perhaps with a “no need to reply” line attached.) Even with my closer friends who have recently experienced parental losses, I haven’t really reached out beyond a quick text. What else is there to say sometimes you know? And I feel like it would be annoying to have to go through the next questions, which starts invariably with “What happened?”

Along the same lines, I had a really good friend who told me somewhat recently that her infant passed away. Just suddenly, in his sleep. Sure, loss is loss but that’s an incomparable loss right? I didn’t know what to say to her because “sorry,” while necessary, didn’t seem to mean much/enough.

In related news: People who put personal news on someone’s Facebook wall ahead of them actually announcing things themselves… Like wow, really? People do dumb shit.

[Cross posted from my Tiny Letter]