Unto Caesar

The world's most booming economy? Mongolia. Quick, name any (semi-contemporary) facts about Mongolia you know. If you're like me, you know next to nothing. It took me a second to even figure out if Mongolia was still a part of China. A few weekends ago we met a guy playing pickup ball and my friend invited him back to the house for the follow up BBQ. The kid was Mongolian and after unpacking his life story over the next few hours, I was still left curious. Both about his home country and his personal circumstances.

He was telling us how hard it was to get a job here because of his non-citizen status, his eventual goal to return to Mongolia because of the job situation here/there, and how smoothly he assimilated after moving here in his late teens. Our new friend moved from Mongolia to Pittsburgh to San Diego, and didn't learn English until he arrived -- he spoke Russian and Mongolian. Playing with him for the afternoon, we would have sworn he was a born and bred surfer dude. Ponytail, Quicksilver shirt, collapsible bike, laid back attititude. He explained that he had to just dive right in and learn everything quickly, immersing himself in American culture in order to fit in.

I could argue that despite him being only here a decade, he'd transitioned to being "American" faster than most of the FOBs I know who arrived way earlier. Instead of clinging to something familiar, he chose to dive right in. He was like, "You're the only Asians I've hung out with in awhile."

From this article about Mongolia's economy, I read that the unemployment rate for people between 18 and 29 is fifty percent in Spain or Greece. I don't know enough about economics to know if that means it's a great time to be there or if it's terrible. As president of the unofficial-official unemployment club, I'm sure I would have plenty of people to hang out with. (In the US, twelve percent of that demographic is unemployed.)

Lately I've been trying to think hard about what I want to do -- as opposed to leisurely think about it. The first step is removing the artificial barriers that have plagued me so far. No more "I'm too old to do that" or "it'll take too long." Thirty three isn't actually that old, and in the bigger scheme of things, there's at least another seven years to make something of myself before I turn into a lost cause.

We just did a podcast semi-related to this actually, about "making it," and I was trying to explain how I've crutches over the past five or so years to stay away from industries and occupations I might actually want to do -- albeit am currently unqualified for.

So no more "I can't do this because _____." Instead I'm trying to compile a list of things I would actually like to do, and which might be semi-viable. Some of this realization came on the heels of watching this documentary, Comic Store Heroes on National Geographic -- nobody should ever call it "NatGeo" -- about Midtown Comics in New York. It reminded me that twenty-something would have given anything to work in/around comics. It made me think of the things that I wanted to do when I was still in college, when everything seemed possible. Cultural anthropologist, psychologist, architect, entrepreneur, cartoonist, sociologist, etc. I went through three or four majors in college, and not one of them was writing. Or even English literature. I didn't take anything remotely reading/writing related until UCSD for a class or two. Poetry, children's books, the Brontes.

I'm trying to revisit those options. Or just make new ones. I mean, I was reading this article, "Hope: The Sequel," about the upcoming presidential race and got all fired up and thought, "What if I just go to Chicago and volunteer for Obama? What would that be like?" Being around people who care about something, who are passionate about something I know not much about, that would be interesting right?

Then I saw Jarhead and thought, "Man, the really craziest thing I could do now was to join the military." Sure I would flunk out in three seconds but if I'm looking for sharp turns, that would certainly be one. Another would be say, flight attendant. Yes, I just saw Catch Me If You Can. Basically I'm susceptible to anything right now, which seems like a good thing because I've been kind of thinking in a limited box recently.

Having actually worked at one of my dream jobs for awhile, I learned that the reality of it can often be underwhelming. However, that was years ago, and with just that one experience. Sure I decided then that I didn't like being a video game tester but that may not mean there aren't other things in the industry I couldn't have tried.

There's always time I guess, and more tries. 1-ups as it were.

"I have spent a great deal of my life discovering that my ambitions and fantasies -- which I once thought of as totally unique -- turn out to be cliches."
-Nora Ephron-

I also recently decided to stop saying "writer" when people ask what I do. One, it's a bit disingenuous. The amount of my time spent actually writing would really be an insult to the occupation. Second, I'm not being paid to write anything at the moment. And even if I were, I don't feel like it's necessarily right to be calling yourself something until you do it semi-full time. Okay my stance on that has shifted a little, but for the most part I still rant about the sort of aspirational occupations people give themselves. "No, you are not a photographer, you own an expensive camera." That's a conversation for another time I guess.

Three, I'm sort of sick of where the "I'm a writer" conversation goes. I'm like boring the shit out of myself before I've even finished replying. Technically I've been a writer since 2006, been calling myself one since 2009, and for me that's a long time to be something that I'm not sure I am. It'll be more accurate to say I'm a blogger. That I can commit to. But wait, I've never been paid to do that. Okay, "blogger" won't work either.

I'm gonna have to think about what I should say when people ask about my occupation. Going with "flute person" or "import/exporter" is not a fun answer. "Dilettante" for most accurate? I think I've enjoyed saying "unemployed" most of all. It tends to steer the conversation away from what I do pretty fast since there's an assumed shame. The less talk about work the better I say.

I used to avoid asking what someone did as long as humanly possible, it was like a personal challenge to never find out. I don't do that anymore. When I meet someone I'm pretty much assessing what I think they do based on their responses already. Sometimes it's surprising and a good conversation, usually it's not. I think I'm gonna go back to that, not asking people what their jobs are.

In the upcoming Looper, Bruce Willis is tasked with killing his younger self, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's dawning on me that I could be possibly reaching back in time for twenty year old me. Like resurrecting him -- although it's arguable if he ever died. That's probably not a good sign. I should be going the other way on the timeline.