Ring the Alarm

The other day, AMR blogged about his first cell phone. I thought I had to do the same, as everyone knows my cell phone is closer to me than most humans are. A mobile phone has been my loyal companion through more than thirteen years of friendships, and contributed mightily to my personhood. In all that time, I've never lost a cell phone, never dropped one in a toilet, and only got one stolen recently. Not bad right?

If you've ever seen my phone, it's always kept in immaculate condition, with a case -- sometimes two, the "double bag method" -- to protect it. Call me anal, call me paranoid, I just don't like to risk my phone's well being. Also, I can't have any liquids near my phone. The number one cause of cell phone damage is from being left out on top of a table. Or taking it to the bathroom. I'm sure of it. As AMR was helping me hunt down old cell phone photos, he hypothesized that we were having a hard time because most of our photos during a certain era were taken during eating sessions, or the poker table -- where beer and snacks were plentiful -- and my phone was safely tucked away.

I was also looking for photos of my notorious array of cell phone belt holders, but they are nowhere to be seen either. I think it's all the baggy clothes worn during the mid-2000s. I should probably be thankful for those oversized t-shirts. No evidence remains of my clear fashion faux pas. A few years ago, we did a peer-to-peer fashion evaluation poll and a comment I received was, "Ditch the cell phone carrier." Thank you friends, duly noted.

What follows is my history of cell phones. As you'll see, I never went in for the phones that flipped, or had external antennas. Also, I liked nothing better than to swap out phone covers. I thought a cell phone cover spoke a lot about a person. Do I still? Probably.

Nokia 5110 (AUG 1999)
Entering senior year at Michigan, I was one of the last kids around to get a cell phone. I think I was still just really attached to my white pager. The first weekend back at school, I got a phone call from my friend in the middle of the night. Somehow she knew my number even though I hadn't memorized it yet. They were drunk and needed some help. I walked down a few blocks to the post-party and somehow successfully carried a girl out of a basement and then back to our apartment. I banged her head a few times, I'm sure of it. To this day, this stands as the most heroic and manly thing I've ever done. All hail, cell phone.

The 5110 stayed with me for many years, finally succumbing to battery death. It started off encased in orange but I eventually threw on some blue Hawaiian flowers. You know, to be Californian. Also, this phone had some reception issues, if I recall. I had to buy thin booster strips off eBay and stick them behind the battery.

Nokia 3595 (MAR 2004)
On an old blog, I covered the transition from the 5110 to 3595 in some detail. This side photo is an actual image of my phone, scuffed on the case, and with an important hack on the screen: a Calvin background. For some reason, this is the only phone I have with photos of it in the wild.

The case initially was just another version of my previous blue Hawaiian flowers, but then I transitioned to this fish phone cover that had colorful clown fish all over it. Some called it ugly, I called it strategy. My philosophy was that the brighter the phone, the harder it would be to lose. After I moved on from the Nokia, AMR used my fish phone case for awhile. Somehow neither of us have photos of that cover. Clearly we were slacking.

Here's a fun story. On the 3595, you could assign icons to show up when a particular person called. A coffee cup, a head, a digitized house, a flower, etc. I asked my then girlfriend which one she wanted to be. She picked the daisy. Then I assigned the rest of the icons to my other frequently dialed numbers. One day, my (female) best friend called and what did my girlfriend see next to her name? A heart. Cue explosion! I tried to use some form of defense that she could have chosen the heart but since she didn't, I had to assign it to someone else.

You can imagine how well that explanation worked.
Also, speed dial was a big issue. In my head, I had this whole hierarchy of who was where on the speed dial. #1 was voicemail, #2 was someone more important than #3, and so on. Except for #5, I reasoned that since that was the middle of the dial pad, that's where I should stick the person I spoke to the most. Needless to say, that was not my girlfriend. My friend Meesh's number was lodged permanently at #5 on all my phones.

Sidekick 2 (OCT 2004)
Ever since the original Danger Hiptop came out, I had lusted after it. AMR was ahead of me and got the original but when T-Mobile finally got the Hiptop, I was ready to jump aboard. Rebranded "Sidekick," this phone was way ahead of its time. Internet access, a fantastic keyboard, the ability to chat with people on AIM, it was the best! (Danger also created personalized sites for its users, called a "hip logs," for photos. That became the precursor to our moblogs.)

This awesome technological breakthrough allowed me to text and talk at the same time. Since the buttons were so tactile and perfectly placed, I trained myself to talk to someone in front of me while at the same time chatting or texting. People around me loved it, I'm sure.

At the height of my Sidekick use, I was texting my friend like a hundred times a day. She had to up her cell phone plan because we texted so often. Obviously, my girlfriend (a different one) wasn't as big of a fan of my Sidekick. Of the contributing factors to our eventual breakup, I would say the Sidekick ranked in the top three. She threatened to break it more than once.

iPhone (2007)
Finally, the promised land. AMR and I had been tracking the iPhone for some time, and when the time came to buy one, I didn't hesitate. Well, I didn't hesitate on the buying, but I didn't open the box until a week or so later. After all, paying $600 for a cell phone seemed slightly ridiculous. But when a friend asked to buy my unopened phone for her boyfriend's birthday, I panicked and ripped the box open. Mine, mine!

I had some initial gripes about the iPhone but those were quickly washed away. Since then I've upgrade twice -- 3GS and 5 -- and am loyal for life. Until they can implant a cell phone in my head or something. Then I'll switch. That original iPhone went on to have a happy second life, as I bequeathed it to my technologically backward friend. She had my music and contacts on there long after it was hers.

There are no stories about how the iPhone impacted my relationships, because I was single throughout its reign. Sorry, no passive aggressive instances of mobile phone use to kill relationships here. I'm so mobile phone mature now.