One of my summer goals is to get three chapters of this relationship book done. I keep collecting links and articles and fun things to go over when I finally do the proposal. (Note: I have also been talking about doing this book since 2009.) Here's a few recent ones I've been digging through.
First up is this Forty Days of Dating experiment. Two friends decided to date each other for forty days to see what would happen. The project took place in the spring but they are releasing their entries now. It's getting a ton of press and Internet love. Of course I'm jealous, as this is a project I clearly should have. Maybe I'll still do it, but you know, to less acclaim and with less creativity. The whole thing reminds me a bit of Breaking Upwards, the semi-fictional movie about a real life couple breaking up but still trying to live together.
I've also been reading about the term "monogamish." Dan Savage coined it and it's making the rounds once again due to the recent Supreme Court decisions. Here's Slate's Double X ladies talking about it. Ever since being introduced to the concept of open relationships, etc., I've been an advocate. Applying it in real life, that's another story. This may not be news to you, but most people aren't quite up on the idea. Shocking! Social norms aren't changing anytime soon and I haven't met anyone (yet) who's successfully pulled off an open relationship.
At a writing group I went to a few years ago, one of the guys was trying to write a book about polyamory. Half of the session was spent with him answering questions about his lifestyle. You'd think it would be interesting, but it actually got boring pretty fast. Maybe it was the guy though, he was just kind of smug-y. I used to listen to Savage's Lovecast a lot, but not so much now. Maybe it's a thing couples should do together.
- What You Should Know About Monogamish Relationships
- All My Exes Live in Texts: Why the Social Media Generation Never Really Breaks Up
- I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You (2012)
- Modern Love: Uh, Honey, That’s Not Your Line
"Normal frictions that arise in any relationship -- sour mood spoiling a dinner, tension around whose apartment to sleep at -- start coarsening their time together. The fade-out is slow and hazy -- it's a devastating portrayal of the subtle shifts in power that can ruin the blossoming of real love and sympathy between two people."We helped move Amit out of New York the other day. It was just two years ago we were celebrating his ten years in NYC. Out of nearly everyone, he's the one non-native that has stuck around here the longest. Now it's time for a change and he's driving back to Ohio and then on to Los Angeles. Who knows how long he'll be gone?
-Love, Actually: Review of Adelle Waldman's The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.-
With his exit, half my social life is gone. I mean, I mostly associate summers with hanging out and drinking wine at Veloce, singing karaoke every other night, and running around to wherever Amit is. He was always up to something, always with the cool people, and could be always be counted on to spice up my nights in the city.
Last week, we also had one last karaoke session, and we added another Lion King song to our repertoire. A few months back we discovered that we are awfully good -- and enthusiastic -- about "Circle of Life." Well, we're almost as passionate about "Can You Feel the Love Tonight." Anyway, we did that and now it could be months before I hear him do "Hallelujah" or any of the other songs I've gotten accustomed to hearing Amit sing. I wonder how many other similarly Amit-shaped holes will be felt by his friends. A lot, I'm sure.
Also, as we were moving stuff out of his house, I reminisced a bit about his apartment in Chelsea. He'd been there for seven years and so much has happened there. Oh the memories. That couch, that carpet, the bathroom we would sit around DDTing because everyone else was asleep.
I can't remember the last time anyone had a DDT.
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