Ways and Means: Jul 2015 - Dec 2015

Here we go, the budget report for 2015, including fresh new analysis! You’ll recall the first half of 2015 I said I was on pace to live a $41.5k lifestyle? Well, I ruined that pace majorly by having a some fat months near the back half of the year. Namely September and December, where I spent a lot of time hopping around and racked up variable bills of over $2,400+ each month. Whoops. Not to mention two other months when I was around $2k each. For the first half of 2015, I didn’t even eclipse $1,750 in a single month. What happened?!

• Jul: $1,700
• Aug: $1,960
• Sep: $2,870
• Oct: $1,670
• Nov: $2,050
• Dec: $2,400

Well, for August I was back in the States and apparently went on a shopping spree. Forever 21, Costco, Target, H&M, Sun Diego, it reads like a list of my favorite stores. (Plus I went to see the ophthalmologist, which really should go under Annual shouldn’t it?) Guess what November was? More shopping! I hit Forever 21 in Korea, did some additional shopping at the all-night malls there, and spent on some physical copies of books because sometimes you just need that paper. Also, I got a tattoo, which didn’t help financial matters. Note: Tattoos in Taiwan are not really that much cheaper than back home, if anything they are more expensive.

And I can’t even talk about September and December except to say that when I’m on the go, Transportation and Food categories swing way high. Like way high. My Jul - Dec five category breakdown went like this:

• Food: $4,830
• Shopping: $2,760
• Play: $2,570
• Transportation: $2,540
• Misc: $400

Overall my Jul - Dec variable expenses worked out to about $2,100 a month, an increase of +$600 from the first six months of 2015. Add in fixed expenses of about $875 a month and I was at $2,975. That’s about a $47.5 lifestyle. Not bad! Oh wait, I forgot about annual expenses...

I had budgeted out $7,000 for annual expenses, most of it for “vacation” meaning airplane flights, but I ended up dishing out only $5,750 on annual stuff. With the big caveat being that my new laptop and one set of flights home were paid by work. So that saved a few thousand dollars, as you can imagine.

Most of the actual annual expenditures then, was for a huge set of flights in November where I went Taiwan to Korea to Taiwan to San Diego to New York and then finally back to Taiwan. And let’s not even talk about the change fee I ate on my December flight when I somehow messed up the date and basically missed my flight. Oops!

Other than that, my annual expenses was just one road trip to Yilan and two visa runs to Hong Kong. Still, despite coming under projections, that’s $480 a month for annual expenses. Add that into $2,975 and we’re at $3,450 per month for the back half of 2015, or $55k a year, a huge jump up from the first six months where I was at the aforementioned $41.5k pace. Whoops.

In sum, my total variable expenses for the year averaged out to $1,800, then $850 for fixed per month, plus $480 each for annual expenses. Grand total: $3,130 per month spent in 2015, or $37.5k total. That’s about a $50k lifestyle. For comparison’s sake, last year those numbers were $39k total spent and a roughly $52k lifestyle. In sum, did I save money by living in Taiwan for a year? Fucks no! Not only did I go go over budget, I went over by $8,500+ this year, a slight increase from last year. Sure, I gave myself a raise but that only kicked in from September on.

How can this be you ask? I don't know. Also, George and Ameer asked a very prudent question to me the other day: "How can you constantly be going over budget yet still have money?" Great question, I'll hope to answer that after I do some analysis.

So what's the plan moving forward? For one, I'd like to see what happens if I stay put somewhere. Will not flying around internationally help expenses? Will not participating in fast fashion hurt my wardrobe but help my wallet? Should I explore the adult world of having savings? All things to be answered in 2016. Stay tuned folks, another year of Budget Club is in the books!

That Can Only Mean One Thing

Halloween coincided with both Taiwan’s Gay Pride Parade and well, Halloween. Also something else was going on so it was like Taipei was filled with people that night. We started off going to a murder mystery party — I was JJ Scoop, a tabloid journalist, how fitting — and then we hopped to Xinyi district to a bar or two before settling in at Chess for one of the first proper nights I’d been out since being back.

Actually, I found myself there the next night too, for a bboy battle after-party, which was the same party I’d attended last year on this weekend. It may seem silly to point to one night to sort of the start of it all, but this was kind of it. My friend from Chess texted me at like 11PM and said that there was a party that I would probably like and even though I had been kind of tired, I popped over and then stayed there till 4AM, dancing the night away.

It was then that I met two guys I would become pretty good friends with, and also met my eventual hip hop instructor. Basically the party was so good that I kept going back to Chess over and over, hoping for that high again. While it never quite got that good again, it’s hard to deny that it was the catalyst for a lot of my Taipei social life. I literally used to go there like every Wednesday and a lot on Friday and Saturday. For the people who frequent Chess, it’s basically like Cheers and you see the same people over and over. Most of it is due to the fact that it’s the only place that consistently plays hip hop, and the crowd is also mostly ABCs and foreigners (but not “those” kind of expats) so there’s always dancing going on.

• Into The Knight: OTS Chess Club (2013)
• Thousandth Girl: Taipei Nightlife Guide 2015

Actually I was out of Taiwan mid-November, and it seemed like a rush the last two weeks. I got out to the golf course for C’s early birthday event, and while I hadn’t golfed in about fifteen years, I felt I represented myself well with about a +100 handicap. Seriously, it was whiff after whiff and dirt chunk after dirt chunk. The caddies there are overly helpful and they kind of shoo you off the hole as fast as possible to get the next group on. A little anxiety inducing actually.

There were a couple more late nights / early mornings and then it was time to prep to leave again. This time I was going to pack as light as possible, because I was only gone for three weeks, but my mom had also insisted that I box up all my stuff in Taiwan. Oh! Right before my last day in TPE, we went to get tattoos in Ximen. Getting three tattoos took all day but we waited around while we each took turns getting carved up. D1 got a compass on her upper leg, D2 got a Jimi Hendrix lyric, and I got an outline of Taiwan filled with Taiwan-y designs. And then J and I headed off to Korea!

A&J used to live in Taipei but left us maybe June-ish. They were the center of one group of my Taiwan friends and with them gone, we are all still friends but without the central connection, like a friend donut. A is the retail manager for a large fashion brand and so he had to move to a bigger market, and of course J went with him. They were my perfect married couple, with A around for basketball and guy stuff, and J for (some) Shida and writing. Plus they hosted our Game of Thrones nights!

Their place in Seoul was super nice and I did my best to wake up for day time activities. Korea was a little chilly and thank goodness I got a thicker jacket aside from my denim one. One night J and I went to Dongdaemun, which is this shopping area that houses huge malls that are open until 5AM. The shopping in Korea seemed fantastic, even just the little amount I touched. Everyone is so much better dressed than in Taiwan and I can immediately see why Korean fashion influences so much of the rest of Asia (not to mention the U.S.). I got a few very necessary items and next time back I’m totally gonna take the subway and eat some street food!

While in Korea, I found out D was called back to her native Brazil, totally unexpectedly. She was originally going to go back in February but her parents said for her to come home now. After some initial panic and much sadness — my whole plan had been to leave Taiwan when D left — I changed my airplane ticket to fly back to Taiwan and spend the last few days hanging out with her. Originally I was supposed to go direct from Korea to San Diego, but in my mind we would like never see each other again so we had to hang out now!

So I headed back to TPE for three days, kind of helped her pack, and basically just soaked in our last few times together. It also sort of marked the end of my time here, at least in my mind. Sure, I’d be right back and sure there was still lots of people and things in Taiwan, but having spent a year hanging out and all that, it was like the vacation was over. I don’t know what I’m gonna do moving forward but with the arbitrary mid-February date off the table, I need to turn my attentions to what happens in 2016?!

"Ever since I left the city you…"

TPE: October

Annnnd, another two month stint in Taiwan, with late November as an exit date due to L’s wedding back in San Diego. I started off with a trip to the night market to stuff my face and then spent a couple of days settling in until I headed out to Kaoshiung to help out for a friend’s event company.

“C-Team” got in a car and road tripped all the way down to the bottom tip of Taiwan, blasting music all the way. Once there, we were tasked with helping out for Mr. Gay Taiwan and mostly did the flower arranging and setup day-of. It was super fun, mainly because I love teamwork and people pulling together. Plus it’s just fun to get out of your usual space with some friends. More road trips!

The next couple of days included stopping by a Twitter friend’s art show, a Taipei friend’s music show, and then sort of hanging out and catching up with people. Apparently when people leave Taiwan they don’t normally make it back so some people were surprised. “Oh, you really did come back!” Little do they know, that I always come back (eventually), like a bad rash or something. I was already entering slight hibernation mode before I left for the summer and this time back I was in total hibernation mode. I wasn’t really trying to go out anywhere, I didn’t go dancing or anything anymore, and mainly I just wanted to sit at home and watch Netflix and lie around.

Technically I had nothing to do in Taiwan so I tasked myself with trying to finish the book proposal for something, but you can guess how that worked out. Whoops. Near mid-October, V&A came through Taiwan to visit, so I hung out with them during the week they were here. Mostly by day though, as they were jet lagged and passing out early (by my standards). V and I got to hit some Ubikes the last day or two he was here, and that was quite fun.

Other events to round out October: a trivia night where we played Sporcle and Buzz Quiz World (!), my friend’s Chinese burrito making night, and attending the last bit of Story Slam, which led to much talk about podcasting. Actually, the main thing I’ve been thinking about while out here is what sort of podcast to do, and how to get my podcast game better. One of A’s friends that I met last year is a radio/TV person out here and so I’m gonna have him teach me how to make a proper podcast.

It’s been just over a year since I moved to Taiwan and looking back it’s been jam packed with people, things, and experiences. Last time F and I came out to visit Taipei, my inaugural visit, was September 2014, and by a month later I had moved out here. I went karaoking with those friends I met back then, and they said that the last time they had gone was with us — over thirteen months ago!

I wouldn’t say time flies or anything like that but it sure seems like I’ve spent so much of my life in Taipei already, and gone through so many sets of people and groups. Currently I basically hang out on a constant rotation with three friends, none of whom I knew until December of last year.

And then, in late October, L came over for a visit too, almost exactly a year after she came out here last year. Last time she was here we had a super great time biking and exploring Taipei and now I’m good friends with the friend she introduced me to. She came last time for her cousin’s wedding and (sadly) this time for her grandmother’s passing ceremonies. We took a little side trip to Yilan to visit C, who is housesitting there for two months. I’d been to Yilan before, on a road trip with D&I last May or so. This time Yilan was straight pouring but we had one wonderful day that allowed us to drive around and visit the local Taiwanese opera museum.

Oh yeah, my mom came back to Taiwan around the end of October and within three days had had enough of my late night antics and well, there’s more to be said there but the short story is: “get out.”

NYC 2015: Part III

With the last week of New York staring me in the face, I was basically ready to take it easy. Monday turned out to be an impromptu trip to Queens, to catch up with the marrieds. G&C and P&A live like ten blocks from each other in Bayside so I public transported myself up to P’s office on top of the 5th Ave Apple Store and then he and A gave me a ride as I experienced their daily commute. P&A have a newborn son, who was not yet born last time I was in New York, and I got to hear about the travails and joys of first year baby-dom. Perhaps more travails than joys actually, but that’s the common refrain right?

After stopping in to check out their place, I walked over to G&C’s a few streets over and settled in for an evening of Uncle Jon-ness. G&C have two little girls, aged five and three, and last time the three year old barely spoke to me. This time she was hyper hyper hyper and was whirling around all over the place. It should be no surprise that I get along with little girls remarkably well and they took me on a tour of their dollhouses, Frozen paraphernalia, and various plush things they took turns hitting me with. All was going well until bed time was announced, at which point semi-chaos broke out.

Ostensibly I was at G&C’s house to watch the MNF game but most of it was a learning experience in putting kids to sleep. The whole process, no joke, took three hours. One of G or C had to be in the room to comfort the little one to bed, and even when I left at eleven-is, she was still sort of awake. Parents, I don’t know how you do it. I sure hope I never find out…

G was kind enough to drive me back into the city and I had him drop me off in midtown so I could cruise down 2nd Ave again, this time pounding out to Tribe and De La Soul. At the end of my ride, J popped up after going to Sleep No More and he took me to Punjabi Grocery & Deli on 1st and Houston for some late night Indian. Freaking delicious. It’s a tiny spot that stays open twenty-four hours and lots of cabbies stop there.

Afterwards, we hung out for a couple of hours, walking around and near his stoop, chatting about Taiwan and the U.S., and girls, of course. Any time two guys get to talking, girls will come up. I mean, any time any guys get together I guess. But in our situations, it was a very relevant conversation since we were both single and facing the canyon of almost forties. Okay, it doesn’t sound that bad, but turning thirty-seven a few weeks ago was freaking me out a bit.

Completing my baby greeting merit badge, I got up early once again and went down to Park Slope to see a YA author friend and his new baby. He and his wife do this podcast about publishing, parenting, and I listen to it religiously of course, but it was nice to say hello in person and meet his daughter. They are now the Park Slope parents that you hear about, and to be honest, Park Slope was a very lovely area I’d like to visit again.

After a cat nap, I got up with my ex-roommate, M, and we trekked to K-Town for some sundubu. Unfortunately, we were dressed exactly the same. Denim jacket, white tee, black pants, and even matching black Chucks. I took my jacket off just so we wouldn’t look so ridiculous. Y met us at dinner, in anticipation of karaoke, and after some song selection indecisiveness, my karaoke pal M burst into the room and we were off, screaming into our mics and and drinking everything in sight. Songs hit list: Starship, “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.” Meatloaf, "I Would Do Anything." And of course Eric Carmen, "Make Me Lose Control," the real reason we're friends. I love singing with M because she throws in everything I want to hear and then we sing with abandon.

A little light headed, I thought my night was done but J was with his friend at Attaboy, the old Milk and Honey speakeasy. His friend C was returning to Taipei the next day and so we just sat around chatting. At 4AM, once we spilled back out, they were hungry so we took a taxi to K-Town — back up for me — and threw down another full meal. With the sunrise out, we stumbled home at dawn.

Predictably, I was dead the next day and stumbled out of bed in time to clean up and then hustle over to my friend’s book signing. Overall I rode across the WB Bridge probably five or six times this trip, getting used to the landmarks each time. On a heavy Citibike, it’s not a super easy ride, and I arrived late and all sweaty. S’s book is a printed version of her one woman play I saw back in S.F. a few years ago, and it’s her first release so I was glad to be able to be there for support. Afterwards we gathered at Pencil Factory for a bit before I had to jet back across to Manhattan, to meet some friends for dinner and dessert.

On Thursday SW and I met up with K for dinner, but beforehand we were at an art gallery in Tribeca. The piece was sort of Game of Thrones meets White Queen, and mostly we stood around chatting. K’s been traveling like crazy, either for work, bicycling, or vacation, and this was the one time we could catch each other. She took us to this Vietnamese place in Chinatown, Pho Vietnam 87, that was quite good, a rarity for New York.

Looking for something to do, I biked over the bridge again to catch C at a concert she was attending in Williamsburg. Even though it was late, the headliners were just starting to go on so I ponied up for a discounted ticket and slipped in. The crowd was older, smelly, and very dense so I opted to head upstairs to the balcony where I could stare down in peace. The band, Severed Heads, was described to me as “German industrial EDM” and I still have no idea what that means. It wasn’t exactly my type of music but I stuck it out though both encores, and then I took C and her friend S around the corner to Kinfolk for an hour or so of dancing.

On Friday morning, I popped right up before noon to get some bagels with SW at Sadelle’s in Soho, apparently the hot new thing on the scene. If you love to wait for two dollar bagels and twelve dollar lox and cream cheese, this could be your spot. Final verdict: undecided, because we only got a bagel or two, and a subpar cheese danish. Fancy place though.

I had made a lunch date with N, who was coming off of teaching his creative writing class. Wanting to hang out with M, I just conflated the two together because I figured we could talk books and writing and stuff. Getting writers together is always a good thing, because writers gotta stick together! I even had a second to go see S, who just had a baby two months ago but is walking around and like totally still working and researching. Some people just make motherhood look easy I guess!

After a much needed afternoon nap, I got up for 9PM dinner with JMZ and Michael. We ate at a curious place, Jack’s Sliders and Sushi, and it had been awhile since we all got up together. There was a pit stop at Veloce for a drink before we headed down to LES for some dancing at The Late Late (great name!). On this trip, I haven’t been to any of the old LES standards at all, which has been great. It reminds me that New York’s going out scene is just so much better. Even the dull spots have better music, and there’s usually a workable crowd anywhere you end up. We shut down The Late Late and then went up to finish our night at Veselka, behind breakfast foods and chicken soup. I took a little clear the head walk up with M, and then bounced on home. Dawn again.

The next morning/afternoon, I was groggy as heck but M called about basketball and I biked over to a court on 16th and 2nd Ave. There was nobody there but we amused ourselves by taking lots of slo-mo video and photos of us mid-flight, basket or no basket. Eventually two young guys showed up and we engaged in a couple games of two-on-two. Us old men got the better of them, since we were bigger and bully-er, and it was super fun. When I returned I was hoping to grab a nap but that didn’t happen so instead I started packing up as I was headed out of SW’s place that night. J happened to be heading to Super Taste for hand cut noodles and so I met him and a bunch of his friends there. Again, super interesting people and one of them I had literally just read about a few weeks ago, but didn’t know it till afterwards.

With New York winding down, I took one last bike ride and then called it a night. Sunday ended up being lazy, with brunch, a Brazilian movie, and then a finale meal at Saravanaa Bhavan (you should read the article about its founder, if you haven't).

• Podcast: Writing in Real Life
• Punjabi Grocery and Deli
• Pho Vietnam 87: A Cut Above Chinatown's Vietnamese Restaurants (2014)
• 7 Important Facts Gleaned From the Opening Day of Sadelle's
• Why The Fashion Industry Is (Finally) Talking About China
• Masala Dosa to Die For (2014)

Overall New York was exactly what I wanted it to be. And I think I'm ready to go back. I mean, when the weather gets warm again. From the time I was there, the temperature swung from 90s to 70s and I left at just about the perfect time. While I love Taipei, the sheer amount of stuff New York has on offer is unbeatable.

Then again, three weeks ago I was starting to convince that maybe being in San Diego wouldn't be too bad, what with its convenience, easy lifestyle, and the beach. I guess I won't know till I know right? There's a lot of compelling reasons to be in New York right now, so really the winter should be used to make moves.

NYC 2015: Part II

After a fast start to the trip, Monday was just sit back and recover time. I crashed out until evening and then wound up in Times Square, looking for a movie, any movie. We ended up watching American Ultra, in which Jesse Eisenberg plays a secret agent turned stoner, and his girlfriend is Kristen Stewart. I’d heard the movie wasn’t good but had good chemistry between the leads. Instead the best thing to come out of the film was the end credits song, Miniature Tigers’, “Oblivious.” Afterwards we jaunted over to The Halal Guys, which now has a stand on each of the four corners on 53rd and 6th. Apparently The Halal Guys is headed to the West Coast soon, in Costa Mesa of all places.

The next night we prepped to head out to Semilla, Pam’s new restaurant. I Tumblr and tweet about Semilla incessantly because it’s Pam's (and Jose, her partner) first solo project. They’ve been getting rave reviews from everywhere and I was hoping to get a reservation squeezed in because when I was here last year, Semilla was still, literally, under construction. The amount of work that Pam and Jose put into building out the space was amazing — JMZ did their website and some other graphic work too. (Update: Semilla just received a Michelin star!) The food is “vegetable forward” and if you’re in town, you should give it a shot before it blows up even more. At dinner, we sat next to a guy visiting from Austin and since he said he was a dancer, I invited him along with us to Daybreaker the next day.

I had been to the San Francisco version of Daybreaker, basically an early morning rave with coffee and juices instead of alcohol, but this was the original and much bigger in every respect. I saw my camp friends there, the ones who started Daybreaker, and it was pretty fun to just dance around for two straight hours. I’m not sure how much fun my other friends had, but it was a unique experience at the worst. At around 8:30am, they opened the blackout curtains and it really was like the sun was rising to engulf the club. Not bad!

After some rest and collapse, I ran uptown to Asian American Writer’s Workshop to stalk/see this blogger I’d been following for years, Technicolor. I covered her book release here, but in general it was mind-warping to have one of my favorite bloggers on-stage at AAWW, talking about her book debut. I kind of don’t like to talk to talk to people I follow but in this case the audience size was right and the space un-intimidating, so I chatted it up with Alex for a few minutes as she signed my book. As it turned out, she’s half-Taiwanese (I had always assumed half-Japanese) and her professor mother was slated to come teach in Taiwan soon. Can you imagine if I somehow became real life friends with a blog person I’d been tracking through the years? It would be like a dream come true, but also weird right?

With that over, I met J at Union Square to take in Sleeping With Other People, which featured Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis as a pair of serial cheaters who, no spoiler, end up falling for each other. Sudeikis is an annoying on-screen presence, like a schlubby Ryan Reynolds. Even with some good lines and cute moments, a rom-com lives and dies by its leads and this one died for me, even though I love Brie. Movies I wanted to catch in New York but didn’t: The Diary of a Teenage Girl, Pawn Sacrifice, Sicario, The End of the Tour.

J left to go back to Taiwan the next day, but not before we got to try out the “V Special,” which was V’s deli sandwich special: something like eggs, ham, avocado, and hot sauce. Pretty incredible. And somehow I stumbled my way to lunch too, to eat arepas with K during her lunch break.

On Thursday night, after a long nap, I welcomed the newest returnee to New York, our friend R from the Bay. He had been talking about moving back to the East Coast after some time in L.A. and S.F., but it all happened super quick as he took a new job and was out here in like a week. We caught up at yakitori in St. Mark’s and then headed over to Tiki Tabu, a rooftop tiki bar in LES. Turns out, I’d been to this bar before, but it was something entirely different. Still, the music was good and we got to hang out with a Manhattan view while listening to some good music. (The music was good pretty much anywhere I went, which made me ache even more to be back.)

Last October, when I was still fresh to Taipei, I attended a Sunday b-boy party at Chess and met a few friends there. One of them turned out to be from San Diego and we’d kept in social media touch since. After getting to know him better, J is like the successful version of me — or I’m the poor man’s version of him, either or. What that means is that he’s a nomad who seems like he’s just traveling wherever he wants, but while accomplishing things and getting shit moving. We trailed each other down California’s coast for a few weeks before hitting the beach one afternoon in San Diego. Since then he’s been back to Taipei for a food pop-up — he’s part owner of a hip ramen / Taiwanese restaurant in D.C. — as well as a few other locales.  From what I can tell, he’s got his hands in a ton of random things, including Fashion Week related. Who are these people?!

Friday night we also ended up stopping by his place, a LES food and dance place that I’d been to before, but didn’t even know he owned. The music there wasn’t quite my speed though so we left after a bit to head to the Meatpacking. Oh, before that, we had dinner with my friend K, newly engaged and in the midst of moving with his new fiance into an apartment. Lots can happen in ten months when you’re gone eh? Last October, K and M were barely even dating — he was still in dogged pursuit. And now, engaged!

Although I missed my friend in Meatpacking, we ended up shifting to No.8 in Chelsea and found a lively dancing scene there — with, you guessed it, great music — and so of course my friend and I stayed till they shut down. Another Friday, another fantastic going out time!

I woke up ass up super early on Saturday, in order to hit up dim sum with my new hostess, SW. There was once a time when I relied on her for all the dancing spots but now SW is of the “go to sleep at 11PM and go hiking at 8AM” variety. We walked down from her Chinatown apartment for dim sum at Golden Unicorn — plus a huge long wait — and met up with a friend she’d met the night before.

After parting ways, the two of us headed to the New Whitney Museum, which was huge and crowded. We zipped through the upstairs floors, hit up the terrace for awhile, and ended up by on the fifth floor couches, overlooking the Hudson River. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon. After waiting around for K and her friend A to say hello, we booted out of there and hit up Chelsea Market to fuel up on tacos. The taco place, Los Tacos No.1, was new to me and quite legit, even with a long line.

Even though we were a bit tired, we headed to SL’s apartment for a casual dinner she’d invited us to, on the strength of our dim sum lunch. SL was British, as were her three friends, and we ended up having a really great dinner and convo. As it got to around midnight, I coerced them to come karaoking with us and a few RSVP misfires later, we were embedded at Wow Karaoke in K-Town, belting out Eighties hits. Again, it was another of those perfect New York weekends, when you start one place and end up somewhere else completely, with old faces and new friends thrown in.

After the too-short karaoke session, we whipped down to Central Bar for some nightcap dancing, which went well until K burned her hand on a candle and our night officially ended around 4AM.

Sunday was busy busy. I popped up and rushed out of the house to get down to Brooklyn Book Festival, in order to see D&S’s book panel. Unfortunately, I got there about five minutes late and the panel was overcapacity. It ended up alright though, as I lingered around outside, chatting with S’s husband about Taiwan and his years spent wandering around China and Asia. I really wished I could have seen D&S speak but oh well, they’ll have other book events soon I’m sure.

The book festival was crazy packed, with lines for everything — the last time I’d gone was maybe three years ago — and I didn’t end up having much time anyway. I snuck in a quick fifteen minutes with my writing friend, M, before having to rush off to half a panel on gender and sexuality before having to bolt to K-Town to catch up with D&S. Basically Sunday was just rushing rushing rushing, with hardly any quality time fit in.

After sitting down for dessert, S came to meet me and we threw down some pizza before going to watch Mission Impossible. This fifth installment got an improbable 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. Again, never trust the wisdom of the crowds… After some post-movie tapas and a short walk, I grabbed a Citibike and cruised the thirty or so blocks back home, blasting Carly Rae Jepsen all the way. Glorious!

NYC 2015: Part I

Usually I like to be in a place for longer, but two plus weeks in New York was better than nothing right? Originally I was planning to AirBnB a spot but since I was only going to be there a few weeks, I relied on the kindness of friends to house me (as usual). I didn’t have many specific plans once I hit the city but in an effort to document what I ended up doing, here we go!

First off, I took a non-direct flight from San Diego to New York, which turned out to be a huge mistake. Due to a three hour delay on the front end, I missed my connection in Philadelphia and was almost stuck at the airport there for the night. Instead, I ran from gate to gate, in out-of-breath sprints, and eventually got a ride to Newark. From there, I took a cab into the city — minus luggage since that had gone on to LaGuardia — and got to my friend’s house in Alphabet City around one in the morning. Although it was late, we did our basic catch up and I found out that not only was my friend not in a relationship — when I left, he was! — but he was also recently unemployed and taking some time to figure out his next move. I believe the next morning V bought an extra Playstation controller for Rocket League, even though we never ended up playing it...

The next afternoon, in a move that threatened to tear apart the fabric of reality, I went to the gym. Yes, I put on my work out shoes — same as my regular shoes — and got in forty minutes of real deal exercise. V’s work out routine was this Japanese thing (“tabata”) where you do a set of something for twenty seconds, rest for ten, and then go again. Think lots of push-ups, jumping jacks/stars, and tricep dips. It was mostly fun of the first bit, but by the end I was ready to collapse.

For the next few days I bragged to everyone how much I’d worked out. And vowed to not do it again. Once a decade is plenty.

I generally don’t tell anyone I’m in town until I’m actually there, so the next day I started texting people that I’d arrived! Cue the excitement. Okay, not really. As it turned out, my friend was in town from Chicago and was doing drinks with a number of our friends already. Perfect! After stopping by a friend’s ex’s fashion week show, we went down to Flatiron Hall to say hello. I’d missed J’s wedding back in June, and totally regretted it, so this was a nice surprise, being able to catch her back in New York.

And then since I needed to dance right away, we (my friend from Taiwan who was here for the week, and M, who lives in Greenpoint) hopped in a cab to Williamsburg and hit up Kinfolk 94 and eventually The Tender Trap. Both places were pretty empty but the music at Kinfolk was stellar — at one point there was PM Dawn. We also met a close-up magician who was in the same Magic Castle training class as Neil Patrick Harris. I guess if I could make poker chips and foam balls disappear and reappear, I’d bring props to the club too. The only other people dancing were us three, the magician, and a bunch of lesbians who were making out in every corner and empty space of the dance floor. Kinfolk: always great music, always a different crowd.

Sometimes people take my “I sleep all day” statements as hyperbole. As V found out, I really did sleep late into the afternoon and evening. On Friday I rolled out of bed at like six, prepped up and headed toward K-Town to meet with M. She was already downstairs at her neighborhood bar and we chatted with her friend for a bit about his girlfriend problems and the challenges of going from six blocks to an uptown/downtown romance. Also, when does someone get key status? Their simple opinion: Never, until you live together. Harsh.

Afterwards, M took me around the corner to a steakhouse where we sat in a long line of two tops against the wall. Each interior seat was occupied by a woman, and on the outside seat was planted a man. Like maybe ten couples, all just sitting in a line. So weird. The couple next to us were on the worst date ever, as the guy lectured on and on while the woman sat quiet and displayed little to no interest. I was sure they weren’t on a first date, as the guy was being truly boring, but M assured me it was a first date. It’s a tough (dating) world out there ladies, cut bait on a mansplainer when you can!

Later on, I hopped over to meet up with K&S, and then we walked over to No Malice Palace for dancing. In line, K started talking to the people behind us and they turned out to be quite nice and fun. She simply had told them some friends of hers that had gotten out of line would be right back, which was a very polite thing to do. NMP is a freaking hotbox but the music is always good and it’s basically a no fail fun place, assuming you can get in. A couple more people joined us inside and I even ran into a friend’s brother, whom I had met last year right around this time. This was the party I’d been looking for, with the right people, the right music, and the right atmosphere. Thanks New York!

Since drinking leads to early mornings for me, I got up at 11AM-ish and scrolled through Facebook, trying to see who was in New York. As it turned out, my ex-roommate M was going to be moderating a panel at Photoville, New York’s largest photographic event out in DUMBO. I got myself revved up and out the door to make the early afternoon panel on migration and statelessness. (Read M’s bio, it sounds so damn impressive. Like who are you?!) What I learned was that photographers really shouldn’t talk about their work. I mean, no, they should, but it’s difficult to separate out the photographer from the photos. Like one the panelists just didn’t articulate himself well and I couldn’t take his work seriously. And another photographer, whose work was clearly amazing, seemed to lose some of the audience due to his thick accent. “Let the work speak for itself,” seems to apply in these cases.

After the panel, two of M’s friends cruised the rest of the exhibition with us and then we booked it to Chinatown for soup dumplings. As it turned out, my favorite couple/people from San Francisco were in town, after participating in the Labor Day 9-Man tournament the weekend before. They met up with us for dumplings too and it was one of those times when strangers come together but the discussion doesn’t skip a beat. Everyone got along, we were talking about interesting things, and there was just no lull in the conversation or boredom, etc. It was amazing! Afterwards, we didn’t want to end the day there so hopped to a bar for a quick drink and then rolled up to K-Town for some bonchon. And then after fried chicken, we went down to Revision, right next to V’s apartment, for some dancing and drinks. All in all, a perfect day slash night! (A handful of us chased the night to a few other bars, but that was likely a mistake. “Don’t chase the night,” as Worldwide Wes / Bill Simmons says.)

It made me think that the long percolating Before Sunrise-like movie I’d want to make should really be about a group of people. After all, those were the times I liked best about New York. How you can just travel from place to place, picking up new people, and having the night go wherever. It’s not something that happens in other cities, as far as I’ve experienced, and I associate that sort of time with only New York. It would be a challenge to get that kind of chemistry depicted on-screen but that’s an interesting twist on the genre right?

With Sunday here, I woke up early yet again and met up with JMZ and Jenn in Noho for brunch. We were tucked into a back corner booth at Cafe Select, and it was a lovely place to take down their Croque Monsieurs. Afterwards, we waited around for P to show up, as this was her day off. P’s new restaurant had been getting brilliant reviews for months and her schedule was even more slammed than usual but we got to spend most of the afternoon and early evening chilling out. A true rarity.

Meanwhile, my Taiwan friends were in Soho and after leaving JMZ, Jenn, and P, I met up with them and went to dinner at some Italian spot. J and C were in town from Taipei to help their aunt move from Queens to the Upper East Side, and although it was exhausting, J was still down to do stuff at night. After dropping off C in the UES, we went downtown to grab Citibikes and I took her on her first New York ride, across the Williamsburg Bridge, cruising by the construction that has overtaken WB’s west side. On the way back, we trolled through East Village for pizza, falafels, and hot dogs.

That was the first four days and I'd basically covered all the things I wanted to do in New York already. What's next?!

Ways and Means: Jan 2015 - Jun 2015

We’ve done this before, so let’s do it again. This time with international flavor thrown in! My first six months of 2015 were spent entirely in Taiwan, the land of cheap food, cheap drinks, cheap everything basically. So, did I save any money? Well…let’s see!

To start with, my fixed expenses came out to be about $825 per month. That’s accounting for rent, cell phone bill, and a smattering of subscription services such as Netflix, Spotify, VPN, and iCloud. Also, um, bank fees, but we’ll get into that later. I lived half of those six months at my mom’s but since she was in Taipei for some of the time, I moved out to a small room near my school, at the cost of $550 per month for three months. And I mostly put my Verizon bill on suspension when I was overseas, paying only about $30 monthly for my Taiwan cell phone. So while my fixed expenses fluctuated between $750-900, the average worked out to about $825 per month.

The name of the game is variable expenses of course. I should have readjusted my budget after three months, since I was basically over every month — save one — and I was losing Budget Club bad. But I was stubborn and kept thinking I could make it. Overall, my variable expenses looked like this:

• Jan: $1,400
• Feb: $960
• Mar: $1,360
• Apr: $1,750
• May: $1,700
• Jun: $1,770

Compared to my last six months of 2014, which I spent hopping from East Coast to West Coast, it looks spectacular. However, that variable spending falls in line with what I was spending when I was holed up in San Diego during the exact same time last year. In fact, I was probably spending more in Taipei than in San Diego. But again, more on that later. Anyway, my six month variable expenses worked out to about $1,490 per month.

And let’s not forget that all important Annual tab, which accounts for one-time expenses that we don’t put into the variable part of the spreadsheet. From January till June, I spent $2,700 on “annual” expenses. This consisted of the following: $890 for a new iPhone and iPad Mini, $800 for another semester at Shida, $400 for two flights to Hong Kong to reset my visa (I have to fly out every ninety days), a real estate agent fee of $260 for the apartment (he charged a half month’s rent, which seemed pretty low), $160 for a road trip to Yilan during our semester break, and then finally another $160 for my Citibike renewal. Yeah, you know, that Citibike service in New York? The city I no longer live in? My friend uses my pass and I just kind of renew it because I’d like to have it available. So overall, during those six months, my “annual” expenses came out to $450 a month.

Total I spent about $2,760 a month while living in Taipei. By my rough calculations, living in San Diego costs me about $3,000 a month (assuming $1,000 rent). And New York, well, New York I was basically living on for $3,900 a month. So yeah, to answer the question: Am I saving money by living in Taiwan? “It depends,” is the answer. Ugh, I hate subjectivity.

Finally, here are my expenditures of five major budget categories, and now with a pie chart breaking down which specific tags I spent the most on! We getting fancy.

• Food: $3,050
• Shopping: $1,750
• Play: $1,700
• Transportation: $1,500
• Misc: $900

Let’s talk about this taxi situation. Taipei has a wonderful metro system that costs maybe 0.60 cents to a dollar a ride — compared to three for New York's. The MRT is clean, efficient, open until midnight, with stations very close to my house. So why $250 a month on cabs?! Assuming I am taking cabs to go places I want to go, I am spending almost as much getting there as I am “playing” when I arrive. Well, my justification is that anywhere I live, I would be dropping at least that much on car costs, gas, subways ($120 for NY’s unlimited ride MetroCard), or Ubers. And each taxi ride only averaged about $4.25 anyway, since I started to do less long hauls — as opposed to last November and December where my rides mysteriously averaged $7 each.

Then again, it’s a stark reality that if I never took a cab again in Taipei, I would have 16.2% of my expenditures back. My mom, when she heard about how many taxis I take had this to say, “Maybe if you weren’t always late or rushing, you wouldn’t take so many taxis.” How do you say “touché” in Chinese?

Also, since I don't have a Taiwanese bank account and I generally just pull cash from any ATM around, that's fees. Basic story is I should get a Taiwanese bank account. Or just walk to Citibank ATMs, which charge a lower fee. But Citibanks are few and far between, especially compared to the ubiquitousness of 7-Elevens. Basically I'm paying a premium for convenience, for taxis and cash. So yeah, Taiwanese bank account, put it on the to-do list! No, not that To Do List, this one!

Anyway, that was the first half of 2015 in a financial nutshell. August and September I’m back in the States, and then likely more Taiwan for the rest of year. Maybe I’ll have some shit figured out by then. Haha, or not. Oh right, I ended 2014 saying I basically lived a $52k lifestyle. So far I’m on pace to live a $41.5k lifestyle. That’s good right? I’m downsizing! Does that mean I have a sudden increase in savings? You would think...

Do You Hear the People Sing?

For my dad’s American service, some of his friends got together and made a little booklet of photos and essays and nice things about him. It was printed up and bound and distributed at the funeral. The majority of it’s in Chinese and even after six months of intense Mandarin study in Taiwan, I still can’t read any of it. If I were a different person, that would be a goal. To one day be able to read through this thing. I mean, there’s got to be a lot of anecdotes and stories in there, stuff I’d never hear anywhere else right?

Actually, from what I can gather, 90% of the memories and essays are about golf. My dad was quite the prolific golfer and had a hand in starting the Lower Handicap Golf Club — San Diego’s premier Chinese golf club, I’m certain — serving as its first president. Basically that’s why everyone in the community knew who he was. Most of the English words in these essays are a reference to a particular golf course or stuff like “double bogey, pitching, driver, greens.” There’s also score sheets I think, some possibly in my dad’s own hand.

(There’s also something in there about my mom and “surprise” being yelled out but again, I can’t read enough of it to figure out what the surprise was. My name wasn’t in that piece so clearly it’s not a “surprise, your son dropped out of school” story or anything.)

Also, there’s a page whose lone English word is “newsletter.” That made me recall that my dad used to write newsletters for the LHGC. I mean, I think he did. Well, I’m sure he did, because that’s the kind of thing he would do. Just like I keep overly detailed blogs for my fantasy leagues… I think we both just kind of like community and connecting, although he was more of a showman than I was. By a long shot. He was good with jokes and stories and seemed like he liked being on stage or performing.

Anyway, it’s fitting that this is coming in newsletter format. Unsubscribe at your leisure!

I saw on Facebook that a friend’s father passed away. My general rule of thumb about that kind of thing is to not say anything until I see them. Like I did with a friend in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. I knew that her dad has passed away but didn’t want to bring it up until I was there, face to face.

I think coming from my perspective, it just seems like the last thing you’d want to do during that time is answer a whole bunch of condolence messages. Even just responding with “thanks” can seem like a burden. At least it would seem like that to me.

My friend in Taiwan, about a month ago, was sitting bedside by her friend (really, more a friend of a friend) when she suddenly passed away. Throughout the ensuing week or so of chaos, my friend took it upon herself to see to the arrangements. Like telling everyone what had happened (nobody really knew, as she had been in the hospital the previous day under observation and testing), reaching out to the family overseas (whom the girl had not been communicating with for years), and then organizing a donation campaign to cover costs. I guess that’s one of the perils of living in a foreign country without health insurance or your family/people around.

Anyway, my friend went through an unbelievable amount of shit that week, both physical, emotional, and spiritual. She broke down in tears multiple times, she sort of had her own life blow apart for a moment, it was kind of a mess, but through it all she was simultaneously so strong and so generous throughout. I know I couldn’t have done it. Be that helpful and generous. I would have been like “this is for her family (estranged or not) to take care of.” And ran out of there.

I want to reach out to my friend, the one whose dad passed away, to tell her that I know, and to offer up an ear if necessary, but I also don’t because I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it then. (Or would it be a nice gesture just to send a quick message, perhaps with a “no need to reply” line attached.) Even with my closer friends who have recently experienced parental losses, I haven’t really reached out beyond a quick text. What else is there to say sometimes you know? And I feel like it would be annoying to have to go through the next questions, which starts invariably with “What happened?”

Along the same lines, I had a really good friend who told me somewhat recently that her infant passed away. Just suddenly, in his sleep. Sure, loss is loss but that’s an incomparable loss right? I didn’t know what to say to her because “sorry,” while necessary, didn’t seem to mean much/enough.

In related news: People who put personal news on someone’s Facebook wall ahead of them actually announcing things themselves… Like wow, really? People do dumb shit.

[Cross posted from my Tiny Letter]

Ways and Means: Jul 2014 - Dec 2014

Let’s do this. A year end wrap for another year of spending. Who’s excited!? I already covered the first six months of 2014 so here’s the the last six (remember, this is variable expenses per month, not fixed):

• Jul: $2,450
• Aug: $2,100
• Sep: $1,990
• Oct: $2,100
• Nov: $1,400
• Dec: $2,100

In total, I was $8,000+ over my projected/ideal budget. That’s an ominous extra $666 a month on average. Overall, I spent about $39,000 in 2014, which translates to living roughly a $52k lifestyle. That’s with four months of no rent, lots of freebies, and well, who knows what other contributions. It takes a village indeed. It'll be such a proud day for all when I actually become an adult.

Let’s dig a little. July was a hot mess of transportation, where I went 250% over. The category would have been fine except I rented a car that month to drive from New York to Ocean City, Maryland. That $350 pushed me over the July budget but disregarding the rental, I would have been fine.

For August, September, and October, I was only $280 total over budget, which is just remarkable! But, one major caveat: My budget was $1k a month up until June, when I stopped paying rent. So from July until October, I just basically doubled my budget numbers and upped myself to $2k a month. That meant that August, September, and October were all close to on target, with September even magically coming in at a sterling 99.7% of my budget. (I’m pretty sure I made that happen by avoiding doing anything for the last day or two, so that I could come under at least once in 2014. Go me.)

If I wasn’t paying rent for the summer, then where the hell was I living? Well, here’s the answer: With friends! I went back to my traveling ways and spent most of July meandering my way from New York to San Francisco. Upon arrival in the Bay, I spent the better part of August in my friend’s guest bedroom. Not a bad gig if you can swing it. Was I smooging off my friends (and family)? Of course I was. Thank you friends and family, for opening your homes to me. I look forward to repaying you, but most likely not in monetary form. Do you take goodwill?

I returned to San Diego in September and then promptly left on a ten day trip to Taiwan. The flight was financed by my friend ($1,400 value), and we crashed at our mom’s apartment/hostel for bad sons (infinite value). The total cost of that Taiwan trip was $450, as my friend and I tried to figure out why everything in Taiwan was so damn cheap.

My biggest expenses during that week was the cab from the airport, a roundtrip High Speed Rail ticket to Taichung, and a pair of pants and Chucks I bought for $50 apiece. Everything was just super cheap, which I’ll get into later. Wait, why delay, let's talk about my favorite subject, Taiwan, right now!

In October, after a swing through New York for a wedding, I moved to Taiwan permanently mid-month. That added a new column to my expenses, which was basically converting everything x30 for Taiwan dollars (NT$). Those first fifteen days as a Taipei resident affected my budget immediately in the food department, as for once I was way under in that category. Like waaaay under. It’s a magical place, this Ilha Formosa.

Unfortunately, my shopping went to 415% in October due to well, shopping. Things bought that month: $60 for two more white T-shirts from American Apparel (an important post about these tees coming soon), $140 for some books and another best portable Bluetooth speaker, $50 for one pair of black Chucks, and $180 for two jackets from Brooklyn Industries. The last two items were bought on a whim as I was sending my friend away on a taxi to the airport and just wandered into the Soho store because a bag caught my eye. Big mistake since I really shouldn’t have been spending any money on shopping at that point, but there was the perfect jean jacket I’d been looking for all year, plus this cowl front (women’s) jacket I just had to have. I justified the purchase by saying that I needed more outerwear for Taiwan's mild winters. American Giant hoodie, meet jean jacket and cowl front super awesomeness. Let's layer.

In November and December, I was in Taiwan full time, so the budget dialed back down, as I was paying rent again -- this time to Mom and she was charging me about $200 less than what I paid in NYC. In theory, I could’ve found a place for maybe half that, but my mom’s apartment is in a prime location and well, super nice. So, I was getting a deal. Even though my mom was not super delighted to have me living there. “But Mom, we have an empty apartment just sitting there!” didn’t go far. Neither did "And Jack Kerouac lived with his mother until he was thirty-six!" So yeah, $800 rent.

Somehow, despite living in a city full of cheap eats, my “dining out” category ended up being $500-600 a month again for some reason. That's about what I spent in San Diego during the early part of 2014. Of course, that amount in Taiwan represents eating out basically every meal. So that’s okay I guess. And of the meals that were pricey -- by Taiwan standards, which I’m marking off at $20+ -- it was basically all foreign stuff. Two American style diners, two Korean places, a Japanese hot pot, a brunch spot, and an Italian place. So basically I could bring my food expenses down to within budget range by just eating Chinese all day. Noodles, noodles, noodles!

Oh I guess my December numbers were a bit skewed by being home for ten days for the Wedding of the Millenium. Budget Club had its first members’ wedding as Georgemeer got hitched in late December. And I did the ceremony, for free! Of course, I also have given them nothing yet for their big day. No contribution to their honeymoon registry, no envelope of any color (much less red), no sentimental item, nothing old, nothing new, nothing borrowed, and they purchased my blue Topman suit for me so really, let’s just call it even?

I’m gonna deep dive into Taiwan for a minute, because I think some people might be curious about the cost of living here. You can also check out this informative blog post I found at Thousandth Girl about the cost of living in Taipei.

For me, November and December worked out to this: $20 a month for subways, $180 per month for taxis (25 rides at $7 average), and $1,300 total used in variable expenses. About the same as when I’m in San Diego actually. The difference is, when I’m hibernating back home, I don’t really do anything. Here, I was doing everything.

Until Chinese school started in December, I was basically running around all day long. For about $150 a month I went out a lot, hit up lots of random art shows, sang a few times, paid for Sunday basketball gym fees, did a hot springs trip, went to Kaoshiung twice, saw a Hello Kitty exhibit (twice!), and threw in an outdoor music festival, an escape the room event, and had monthly wine meetings at church.

Oh yeah, let’s talk about drinking. I went out a lot but still don’t drink too much. And the place I mostly frequent has no cover, although all the bigger spots to go dancing have about a $25 cover for guys. Anyway, a typical drink might cost $7-8 if you’re going regular stuff, and that’s about all I do. No fancy cocktails for this lush. A Heineken at my most frequented bar is NT$250, roughly $9, which is expensive for here. And back home too I guess. My total drinking bill for about fifteen nights out was about $250. Not bad I guess, in the big scheme of things.

I do have to say that in the coming year, I’m gonna stop saying “I don’t drink” because clearly I do. My drinking bill for 2014 came out to a shocking $1,100. What’s funny is that from January through May, I was at $80 total for drinking. And then June and July spiked up to $200 and $300 respectively, coinciding with the months when I was on the go and hanging out with, you know, humans. (Strangely my drinking bill for August was very low, which probably means everyone just paid for my drinks. Thanks everyone, I’ll get you back, I promise.) Anyway, I am now a $125 a month drinker. Call me an alcoholic.

The biggest “play” expense that stays about the same here is movies, which still cost about $10-15 a ticket. Everything else is cheaper. For example, Internet prices are a joke. A year’s worth of home wifi costs the same as a month back home. And for $25 a month you can get a disposable SIM for your smartphone with unlimited 3G Internet -- but very little minutes or texts. You don’t really need to text or call much so that’s like all you’re paying anyway.

To wrap up 2014, I was only 126% over budget this year! Spectacular, right? Especially when I was at 138% in 2013. Plus, my actual expenditures were much less. The huge overage wasn’t in food anymore, but shopping, vacation, and transportation.

• Shopping: 185%
• Transportation: 145%
• Play: 115%
• Food: 110%
• Misc: 25%
• Vacation: 950%

Clearly that “vacation” category needs to be revisited as that’s where I threw in all the flights and stuff I took, which aren’t all necessarily vacation related. Plus, what vacation? I'm always on vacation! Also, my auditors and I will be taking a look at the budget for “miscellaneous” too. (For the record, I took seven or so round trip flights this year. Which pales in comparison to say, my cousin.)

And now, using our semi-new “tags report" feature, a brilliant addition by AMR for 2014, we can see exactly where my variable expenses went in sum, as expressed in percentages.

• Dining Out: 25%
• Travel: 18%
• Shopping: 11%
• Taxis: 7%
• Play / Snacks: 5%
• Drinking / Gas: 4%
• Online / Movies / Misc: 3%
• Car / Grocery / Household / Public Trans / Beauty: 2%

Last note before I go. It’s been a banner hair year for me. I let my hair grow like a bush or five months and then went to a salon -- for the first time ever -- pre-Memorial Day. After getting the hair cut that changed the rest of my 2014, I then proceeded on a magical journey called “hair game.” I went from a good hair cut and buying some newfangled hair paste to somehow dropping $500 total for the year on haircuts and assorted products. Before this I’ve basically been cutting my own hair for the past fifteen years, with no product whatsoever. So the price differential between alternating between shaving my head and clippering my own shit was basically $60 a month. Pricey, no?

You should see my array of hair stuff now. It’s not just the three step hair dry and product use. There’s brushes, combs, plastic hair bands, elastic hair bands, hats for days you don’t want to do your hair, and most importantly, the hair dryer. Last year, my friend with always great hair asked for (and received) a $400 hairdryer for his birthday. I didn’t get it at the time. But now I do, I totally get it. The hair dryer is so key. And hair spray, my goodness, where was I in the Eighties when this stuff was all over the place?! Hairspray I love you.

I can't wait to shave my head.