Which is how I discovered that I haven't had time to sit around and think about things in awhile. Naturally, cruising along in the slow lane for two hours leads to all the questions I usually don't bother with for more than a few moments: What am I doing next month? What's on my to do list? What writing ideas do I need to flesh out? What what what?
More importantly, it's not just thinking about these things but having the time to churn an idea around. Instead of giving an item ten seconds of briefness, I am sitting there in (relative) silence while having the space for a thought to return again and again. Even if it's only for fifteen minutes, it's longer than I usually spare. What I'm saying is that I should probably go on drives more. Which is what RNA does when she needs to process something. Of course I no longer have exclusive rights to the car since my Mom is back so maybe I better just fire up the bike. I'd return to my nightly walks but the mountain lion could still be prowling around our community. In my imagination anyway.
Also, I found out that being alone with my thoughts mostly leads to a depressing place. That's pretty normal though, I think. Nobody emerges from solitary with "I'm so happy with my life and I feel great!" exclamations. Whenever I used to see this one ex-girlfriend of mine get her knitting gear out, I'd cringe because I knew I would soon be in trouble. While her hands were mechanically moving, her brain was free to wander and piece things together. Invariably that would lead to some sort of revelation about our unhappiness, or she'd be able to pinpoint something I did wrong.
That's why I can't date knitters. It's just a recipe for disaster.
A friend just finished up a month long journey through South Asia. She's never traveled that much before overseas, and she went solo. Following along via her blog posts made me wonder if I could do it. It sounded like an epic adventure, a truly epic adventure, but I kept thinking "Wow, that boat ride sounds cold. Dang, that must have sucked to get swindled like that!" when I read about some wrong turns or someone screaming at her for no reason. Lying in a nice clean bed, in the safety of my childhood home, I was living vicariously, with no real urge to follow in her footsteps. Sure her trip sounded grand, but it also sounded inconvenient. And tiring.
Isn't it disgusting that my creature comforts are more valuable to me than going out and having adventures? While I don't believe in the epiphanic motivation of traveling to "find yourself," I do miss the crazy things that happen in foreign places. Reflecting back on some earlier trips, many of my fondest memories were the semi-disasters. Sleeping in an airport in Barcelona because we couldn't find a place to stay; losing the bike lock key in Vienna and racing to get to our train; getting mugged in Rome while on the phone with my girlfriend; being stranded in nowheresville China; facing a ten foot pile of manure steaming in front of me in England, waiting to be shoveled. These are the moments that stay with you.
The unexpected.
Now I'm not that excited about going anywhere, and when I get somewhere, I just want Wifi and ample electricity. JMZ calls my last few years a rotation between the Bermuda Triangle of SD/SF/NY and not "traveling." He's right of course. What I do is run around, run away, go in-between. There's no destination, and even worse, no journey.
In theory, money is the limiting factor but that's not true. You can go anywhere to teach English. You can get little jobs in foreign countries no problem. Our one friend, who had never been as far as Irvine, went to Taiwan and then lived there for three years without speaking the language. Sure he probably exotic danced, or maybe was a gigolo, but he got by. Lived and learned.
Another friend of mine just left for South Africa. At thirty-something, she's off to join the Peace Corps. While the efficacy of the Peace Corps is debatable, my friend's willingness to uproot herself from her embedded social circle, her boyfriend, and her comfortable but possibly stagnant life situation can only be seen as 100% admirable.
Another friend of mine just left for South Africa. At thirty-something, she's off to join the Peace Corps. While the efficacy of the Peace Corps is debatable, my friend's willingness to uproot herself from her embedded social circle, her boyfriend, and her comfortable but possibly stagnant life situation can only be seen as 100% admirable.
Given the cash and courage, where would I go? (Duh, I'd go to the Apple Store, that's where!)
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