Sometimes, when we go to the grave site, there's people sitting around and picnicking. Yes the (semi-)open grass and view are nice from the funeral home place but really, it's a bit weird. Not morbid exactly, but there are better places to picnic. And the dead might appreciate the effort to include them but somehow I doubt it. That could just be me though. If our dad was in a mausoleum or something, then I would probably visit more. A giant field full of gravestone plaques stuck into the ground? Not my definition of relaxing or picturesque. "I'll just spread my blanket out here on this, um, Mrs. Johnson, 1912-1971, I'm sure she won't mind."
Years ago, my dad and his friends started up a golf club for the Chinese community of San Diego. Him and his best friend, Dr. Charles, organized everything and recruited people to join at every opportunity -- members now number in the low hundreds. They'd often host dinners and social events in conjunction with the golf club, and the two of them were always the entertainment MCs. Yesterday was their club's twentieth anniversary party. Dr. Charles found out I was in San Diego and wanted me to come represent my dad, who was the club's inaugural president. "I made special hats for each of the commissioners, you must come," Dr. Charles declared. How could I refuse?
Basically the event was a wedding without the wedding. A slideshow of photos ran on a projection screen the whole night. Speeches were made, trophies handed out, dance, skits, and karaoke performed. I went up whenever they recognized my dad, and lined up in his place when all the presidents took a photo together. Most of them were uncles I've know for years -- my dad's good friends -- and I was semi-surprised that he was the only one who had passed away early. Not that these uncles were old, but I guess it was such a sharp visual observation and reminder. Horrible thing to think?
Anyway, as the only "kid" there, it was a fun and nostalgic event. Many of our weekends growing up were spent like this. All of us hanging out in a corner or upstairs while our parents sang, danced, and laughed the time away. Some of the parents I hadn't seen in awhile came up to say hello by going, "I'm so-and-so's mother, do you remember me?" Of course I remembered them! If not by exact name, at least by who their children were.
One group of parents came out with a rehearsed dance number -- riffing off of K-Pop's Super Junior -- and they were hilarious. I'd never seen some of my friend's parents do this kind of thing. They are all hams, like super hams. At one point in the night, people flooded the floor and did the line dance that George had patiently taught them fifteen plus years ago. I guess the Tush Push is evergreen -- at this point all the parents are pro at it.
I hope when we get older, we'll have these kinds of social events and group functions to organize and attend. Otherwise we'll just sit at home with our children, scolding them about homework and bad decisions.
Dr. Charles is the best, for many reasons, but one thing our family really thanks him for is that he never forgets. He made those special hats for all the presidents and made sure my dad had one with his name and service year inscribed. Dr. Charles introduced his speech last night by noting my dad's birthday, and talked about his contributions to the community, and said true things about what a competitive golfer my dad was.
Dr. Charles is the best, for many reasons, but one thing our family really thanks him for is that he never forgets. He made those special hats for all the presidents and made sure my dad had one with his name and service year inscribed. Dr. Charles introduced his speech last night by noting my dad's birthday, and talked about his contributions to the community, and said true things about what a competitive golfer my dad was.
Sometimes when we go to the grave site there are already flowers, and we know that Dr. Charles was there before us, never forgetting.
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