Tuesday, January 31, 2012

It Gets Worse

Do you remember the thing that happened at Rutgers where two students were arrested for using a webcam to spy on a gay roommate hooking up? And then that roommate jumped off the George Washington Bridge to his death? Well, here's a long New Yorker article about it, "The Story of a Suicide." I haven't been so bothered by something I've read in awhile. Mainly because I can't place what I think about it all.

Some (mostly chronological) thoughts: This Dharun guy is the douchiest idiot ever. Tyler really needed better Internet practices. In theory, I could follow the Google trail Dharun followed to investigate his future roommate. This is what I tend to do with new people I meet; Google the crap out of them. No, I'd rather not in this case. I will Google what Dharun, Molly, and Tyler look like though. Are these chat transcipts just teenagers being teenagers? People being people? This other Tyler sounds like a douchebag too, of the highest order. "I wish the gay community wasn't so angry -- so angry. I'm all about forgive but don't forget."

Oh I would have judged someone too for having a Yahoo email address. While reading the article I keep trying to imagine how I would have reacted from any of these perspectives. Which role is more foreign to me? Which one the most likely? Tyler's parents don't seem to know him at all. Neither do Dharun's come to think of it. Tyler sounds awfully lonely. Dharun is a dick, it's true, even his friends say so. ("He's so much of a jerk that it may seem like he's a homophobe but he's not.")

Okay, Tyler doesn't exactly sound like an enlightened human either. Great, he's just as -ist as Dharun ("My roomates name is Dharun / I got an azn!"). Who is the person writing this article? How is he piecing this all altogether? Oh this line bothers me: "...is Hannah Yang, a younger friend from his high-school orchestra, who is Asian." Really Ian Parker? "Yang" is Asian? Thank you. You don't want to specify more there? I wonder if that was put in by the editor. It seems odd to point this fact out. To show us that Tyler had at least one yellow friend?

This is the rare article where Asian names are everywhere. In a way, this is stereotype breaking across the board. Asians who bully others, Asians who suck at school, Asians who think they're cool! You could replace all the names here with non-minorities and it would still read exactly the same. A rarity.

I kind of admire Dharun's tech skills, I mean, I'd want a speaking computer program based on Iron Man. He's actually starting to sound like a semi-okay guy this Dharun, barely. Okay I've turned, Tyler sounds like the insensitive one. I mean, sort of. Shit this is confusing. This whole thing is starting to sound like normal college shenanigans. Gossip, excitement over hookups, pranks, etc. I can see myself getting excited over that kind of stuff. Participating? Hum.

This is a good definition of bullying: "A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."

Who is advising Tyler on these message boards? How do the authorities get all these text/phone/Twitter transcripts? This is a big reminder that anything online is well, online. What? He jumped? What did we miss? Dharun is lying out of his ass. I can't decide how much blame Molly should get here. Accessory? No, she could have tried to stop it. Maybe.

The entire legal maneuvering at the end of the article, I don't understand it. I mean, I understand it, but I don't get it. I can't decide if I think Dharun should go to jail or not. Yes, of course he should! No, he's just a stupid kid. This reminds me of the last bit from A Few Good Men, when the Marine has to explain to his friend that although they are legally innocent, they certainly did something wrong.

Wow, these parents are so clueless. But I can see how they were blind. I am never having children.

I don't know if you read the article like I did. Starting from a place of thinking how wrong this all was, knowing who the obvious villains were, but then switching sides. And back again. Or at least maybe sort of understanding how this could happen, or questioning Dharun's culpability. Because this story probably repeats itself all over. But I guess that's the point. Is this a chance to examine morality? Or just a cautionary tale? Or effective writing?

Related but not really, I was reminded of the Sinedu Tadesse case I blogged about last year. And I thought about the Dorothy Surrenders' blog posts about the episode where Finn outs Santana. "Out of This World" and "Out Out Damn Spot." Where's the line?

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