Ten years ago we'd cram twelve people in one room and walk everywhere but no more! We're older now and deserve only the best. I refuse to go to Vegas without my high gambling friend, who gets hookups for everything. You stay at Circus Circus, I'm chilling in the Palazzo with my Snuggie -- aka backwards bathrobe.
Overall CES was a shitshow. So many people, so many booths (most of them selling iPhone related products), and lines for everything. Lilly joked that there would be a wait for the men's restroom. She turned out to be totally right. The CES crowd is like a gathering of (99% male) nerds but without the craziness or entertainment of Comic Con. These are just digital nerds, who are not really that interesting or friendly. Everyone looked defeated and tired, everywhere you went. I tried to project myself into one of these sad sacks but couldn't do it. It was just too much.
I'm sure there are lots of reasons to go to CES -- especially if you're industry and need to make connects -- but for the average consumer, I'd say avoid. I remember we had a chance to go to CES when I was at Rockstar, but now I'm delighted I didn't go. Working conference booths has to be the absolute worst. Seeing the same people circle over and over while they avoid your marketing smooze. And all that fake enthusiasm you have to muster. I think I need to add conferences to my ever increasing list of things to avoid, along with concerts, theme parks, Irish bars, and oh so much more.
You should have seen the party we went to. A room full of guys who don't party standing around staring at each other. I was there to meet Eliza Dushku, advertised as CES' entertainment ambassador. Really what that meant was she came to the party, was cordoned off, and avoided interacting with the sea of dorks. We didn't even see her (except via Twitter). I mean, if I were her I would have done the same thing. That club had the worst ratio and atmosphere ever. Even with the DJ cranking out good music.
You should have seen the party we went to. A room full of guys who don't party standing around staring at each other. I was there to meet Eliza Dushku, advertised as CES' entertainment ambassador. Really what that meant was she came to the party, was cordoned off, and avoided interacting with the sea of dorks. We didn't even see her (except via Twitter). I mean, if I were her I would have done the same thing. That club had the worst ratio and atmosphere ever. Even with the DJ cranking out good music.
I have never been so close to meeting one of my Top Ten. Oh well, dare to dream.
In other celebrity news, Lilly and Hong were in the same room as Justin Bieber. Yes, the Biebs was at CES doing some product launch, even if nobody could see him in the crowd. The only reason I wasn't chasing after him was because I was catching up with some friends back in the main hall. My friend's friend's booth was located in the back of the convention, in an alleyway where all the international companies formed up. A quarter of the CES crowd had to be Chinese, which makes sense when you consider where all these electronics are being made.
My big contribution to the weekend was meeting somebody in the restroom. An older gentleman with a comb over commented to me about the deplorable state of the restroom and the specific deficiences of this bathroom's sinks. I agreed wholeheartedly and we launched into a talk about German versus American sanitary standards. After taking our conversation outside, I introduced him to Hong and Lilly and we then chatted a bit about what we all did.
Soon after saying good bye, they told me this nice gentleman was trying to pick me up. I refute this version of events as he lavished Lilly with compliments about her Persian beauty. Apparently choosing to live in Miami and Scottsdale brands a man as whatever the gay equivalent of a cougar is. Grizzly? Polar bear?
In other celebrity news, Lilly and Hong were in the same room as Justin Bieber. Yes, the Biebs was at CES doing some product launch, even if nobody could see him in the crowd. The only reason I wasn't chasing after him was because I was catching up with some friends back in the main hall. My friend's friend's booth was located in the back of the convention, in an alleyway where all the international companies formed up. A quarter of the CES crowd had to be Chinese, which makes sense when you consider where all these electronics are being made.
My big contribution to the weekend was meeting somebody in the restroom. An older gentleman with a comb over commented to me about the deplorable state of the restroom and the specific deficiences of this bathroom's sinks. I agreed wholeheartedly and we launched into a talk about German versus American sanitary standards. After taking our conversation outside, I introduced him to Hong and Lilly and we then chatted a bit about what we all did.
Soon after saying good bye, they told me this nice gentleman was trying to pick me up. I refute this version of events as he lavished Lilly with compliments about her Persian beauty. Apparently choosing to live in Miami and Scottsdale brands a man as whatever the gay equivalent of a cougar is. Grizzly? Polar bear?
I've been picked up in Vegas before and this was no pick up. Thanks for listening.
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