All About My Flower

The night before Valentine's Day, we went to go see the Vagina Monologues, which is annually made available, royalty free, for anyone to perform during that week. For the uninformed, the monologues are culled from "interviews [Eve Ensler] conducted with 200 women about their views on sex, relationships, and violence against women." The version we saw was put on by the NYU Law School, and I was impressed with the quality of the performances. Less impressive were the monologues themselves.

Mary, who went to a liberal arts women's college, told me that it might be intense -- she dragged her boyfriend along, who predictably didn't like it much. Personally, I felt like the monologues were very feminism 101. Or maybe 102, to be way generous. Either way, I had to keep reminding myself that the play was conceived and originally performed almost twenty years ago, when its effect was certainly more groundbreaking. I guess I thought it would be more progressive, or at least shocking. I'm also still working out why so many of the monologues were very (anti-)male reactionary. I, for some reason, thought it would have a more celebratory element. And I was trying to figure out if there was any correlation between the attractive cast, the mixed audience, and the selections for the different parts.

My main comments afterwards centered around if the monologues accounted for the ethnicity of the characters, or if the actresses had the freedom to perform their own ethnicities. That sounds weird, hopefully you know what I mean. The answer is to that question is that "no" the actresses perform whoever the interviewee was. So basically that meant a lot of the monologues were performed with an English or a Southern accent, despite a rainbow assortment of cast members. As usual, racial minorities -- exempting the blacks -- were non-existent.

I also wondered if there were trans versions of this. Or if an all male cast ever performed the monologues, and would they do it straight or try to be comedic? I asked my friends if they thought it should be a male requirement to watch the Vagina Monologues, and the answer was mixed. I'd have to agree.

Also, at the end, as part of a One Billion Rising video presentation, the crowd was asked to stand up to support successive statements. Since I am loathe to participate in any group activity, I remained firmly rooted to my chair, even as they progressed from stuff like "stand if you know someone who has been a victim of sexual violence" to "stand if you are against sexual assault on women and children."

I felt like an asshole, since I was the only one seated, but also justifiably indignant that their end statement was designed to get everyone on their feet. Why not go broader and just say "Stand if you are against death and taxes!" Clap clap clap.

On the actual Valentine's Day, we went to an oh so hipster bar in Park Slope for a power ballad singalong. Whites as far as the eye could see! Plus us and a few black people grouped behind us in formation. Basically the singalong consisted of a big screen showing the original music videos while lyrics scrolled along. While I normally detest public karaoke, when no one can commandeer the mic it's actually quite thrilling to belt along to "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" and "Kiss From a Rose." I am going to add a singalong to my list of wedding events. Perhaps in-between the actual karaoke sets.

Also, despite having a drink named But I Won't Do That (whiskey and ginger beer), they didn't play Meatloaf's classic. Instead the MC gave the crowd a choice between "November Rain" or "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" -- citing being only able to play one nine minute song -- and of course Guns N Roses won in a popularity contest. Horrible choice, as "November Rain's" intro is like super long and boring, while the video for "I'd Do Anything for Love" is amazing right from the start.

During middle school, I had this taped to a treasured VHS cassette, and I watched that shit over and over. And then I went deep into the Meatloaf discography. "Deep" like I know more about Bat Out of Hell I & II than anyone really should.

Oh, I just checked. The video for that song came out in 1993, meaning I was fifteen years old. Which meant I was solidly in high school...and yet obsessing over Meatloaf. No wonder I ended high school virtually friendless. Aha!