People have so much stuff. Two of my friends are in the midst of moving or cleaning up their spaces and I'm just stunned at how much they've accumulated. Coming off the heels of my mom's mandated garage clean up, where I threw away all the detritus from past lives, I've got nothing.
One friend is simply going from one apartment to another but she's got at least fifteen boxes. I took some of her books for safekeeping but there's still a ton left over. And she didn't have any furniture or big items like a television to transport. I'm mind boggled at how often she has to unpack/pack this stuff. Why not toss it or store it somewhere?
Besides the things that stay here, nestled safely in San Diego, I literally own like two suitcases of clothes, a treasured toaster, and my electronic items. If it wasn't for the occasional winter weather I head into, I'd own even less clothing.
I've forgotten what it's like to have stuff.
I thought I've just been wandering the past few years but now that I stop to think about it, I haven't really had anything since 2001, Jersey City. From overseas to San Diego, to the Bay (a few times), to Los Angeles, to a touch of New York and back. All that time with no pictures, no board games, no utensils, no trinkets or toys. No joy, no passion, no future.
Even my work desks, I assemble them out of spare Ikea parts. You buy four legs for $12, then a headboard or large plank for $7. Power tool them together and voila, a cheap and eventually disposable desk. Some day when I actually own real furniture and have a home base, I'm going to look back upon this decade as one of such freedom. I'll be wistful but then I'll look over at my fancy fridge and be like, "That's so mine."
I don't know why this 2010 article is popping up again, but "Friendship for Guys (No Tears!)" is worth a read. Well, not really. I'm sure there are articles that say the same thing every few months or so. But I'm a sucker for insight into how regular male friendships work. I really enjoy talking to acquaintance guys about their male social circles. I must know!
This past Saturday I had some guy hang out time with someone I'd never hung out with that much before. One on one at least. It was basketball in the morning, followed by a long lunch, then a break to clean up and run errands, then some basketball watching, and finally a take out BBQ dinner with a movie. During that time I learned some of his backstory and it felt both productive and meaningful.
Sometimes I've heard that I talk too much or ask too many questions, but I don't know what other people do when they hang out. Especially with strangers. I mean, what do two guys do except talk about personal lives when they hang out? Oh right, they stay silent. Shoot the shit. But silence kills me... Sometimes I dread going to eat with certain people because I know it's an hour or so of time that conversation will be at a standstill. The urge to read a book or scroll through my iPhone is strong then.
The thing is, it's probably me, not them. It's probably perfectly normal to sit around and not talk to each other. Men apparently don't like high maintenance friendships. That's what the article said. And the Wall Street Journal is never wrong.
Here's a movie I wouldn't watch ever: What to Expect When You're Expecting. A Hangover style flick about new-ish and soon to be parents. Subtitled "things that men do when they have babies." At least that's what the trailer looked like. Actually I better watch this as an educational piece. The sight of all those daddies with their strollers just freaks me out a little.
Last Thursday Henry had his baby. He had an actual baby! My life feels so different. Okay not really, it's his life that is different. I'm just here to help set up a baby blog. Two days prior to that Henry was standing on a street corner in a dress, decked out in L's old Halloween accessories, holding up a sign to get cars to honk at him. Now he is a father. #adulthood
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