Let's Gauge It

Well, the wedding weekend couldn't have started off less auspiciously. While driving a few short miles to the groom's house in preparation for the ceremony, my car puttered out about halfway through. Panicked that I wouldn't make the one event I couldn't be late for, I dropped it into a lower gear and hoped for the best. A few more blocks and the car wouldn't move even when I punched the gas pedal to the floor.

After Ameer came out to look at it, he announced that the transmission was shot. So, stuck between an upcoming ceremony and a dead car, I ditched the vehicle on the side of the road -- for George and James to come pick it up later.

That was the only hiccup the entire weekend. Everything else went amazing. Splitting the mandatory family portion of the night away from the party time was a stroke of genius. Even though I had my hesitations about a wedding being planned in two different cities, that turned out to be the greatest move ever. Spreading a wedding out over a couple of days also allowed for lots of down time and relaxation, and it felt like an easy vacation for all. If weddings are reflective of the happy couple's personality, then this was a no muss, no fuss affair that perfectly mirrored what they wanted.

Let's talk about being a groomsman. Having never been so up close and personal when two people were getting married, I was surprised by how touched I was. Weddings tend to be blasé affairs nowadays. I sit in the back rows, flipping around on a phone or reading the Bible while some guy up front goes on and on. But when you're standing there at full attention, there's nothing else to do except study your friend for each shift in emotion and affection. I had a perfect view of the bride's face as she stared deep into Henry's eyes, their gazes locked upon one another. I saw all of the bridesmaids' reactions as the couple said "I do."

At the Chinese banquet after the ceremony, I gushed to my friend about how great it was being a groomsman. It felt so close and personal being in the wedding party, like the thrill of seeing a dolphin out in the wild versus at an amusement park. Eric, a veteran of many weddings and groomsman duties, laid it out like this.

"You've never been a groomsman before?"

"Nope!" I gushed, declaring that I didn't want to attend weddings anymore unless I was a groomsperson.

"I'm sorry for you if this is your first experience. It doesn't get better."

"What do you mean?"

Eric passed his hand over the center of our table. "What do you see here?" It was empty except for the food.

"Usually there's a centerpiece here. Guess who brings that?" he asked.

"Me?" I offered.

"Did you have to bring anything to the restaurant? Run any errands the last few days? Was there a tux rental or something you had to buy beforehand?"

"No, I just showed up for the pictures and the ceremony," I said.

"It's never this easy. Normally the groomsmen take care of anything the groom needs. Before, during, and after."

"Oh." After receiving Eric's words of wisdom, I've decided maybe I best just be a groomsman this once and leave on a high note.

The venue for the party portion of the wedding must be discussed. Most weddings are held in staid hotel banquet rooms that reek of uniformity and manufactured opulence. You get to dinner, sit down at your table for ten, and proceed to make some chatty with people that you hopefully know. Well, Henry and Jane's wedding was held at a stylish restaurant, and with its mood lighting and open yet closed spaces, Mesa was an ideal location for celebrating.

A friend pointed out that because the setting was a lounge and felt like a normal night out, people were encouraged to mingle and bounce around to different areas, even during dinner. This created a festive atmosphere and avoided the stilted feeling that can sometimes accompany eating times. After the amazing food had been served, they opened up the retractable roof and let the music fly. Yes the house DJ refused to play Party Rock, or take any requests for some ridiculous reason, but the night was so fun anyway.

And then magically near midnight, a sausage cart rolled up outside, hired by the bride and groom to feed their guests again. This was such a hit that people mingled around outside for quite awhile, tossing back bulgogi and spicy pork sausages while neglecting the open bar inside. More bottomless lychee martinis eventually lured everyone back to the dance floor.

When the party wound down, the bride was still ready to keep going and just like the night before, we went back to the hotel and camped out in the open patio area for drinking, smoking, scarfing down cookies, and getting the valuable downtime that really allows you to hang out, catch up, and reflect on a fantastic time. So perfect.

Alright, who's next?!