Planet of Regret

Speaking to a friend the other day, we were trying to figure out the difference between a galaxy versus an universe. I believed it worked like this: The universe is the big umbrella under which galaxies and other things fit. The proper definition of a universe is actually: "All matter and energy, including the earth, the galaxies, and the contents of intergalactic space, regarded as a whole." I guess I was mostly right.

There's a big sky up there and if you want to read some of the most beautiful and accessible words about the universe, "Cosmos" by Carl Sagan is the book. I consumed it during a few days zipping back and forth on the New York subway years ago. At the time, I remember being swept away by the descriptions and understanding why the Bible warned us thusly:

"And when you look up to the sky and see the sun, the moon and the stars -- all the heavenly array -- do not be enticed into bowing down to them and worshiping things the Lord your God has apportioned to all the nations under heaven." (Deuteronomy 4:19)

Alas, today I could recount no facts for you, or provide any brief overview of chapters, or differentiate between a red, white, or blue dwarf. Where once I felt moved, now I just plain forgot.

The topic came up because I telling my friend that if I were being truly honest with myself, I would grudgingly admit that my friend constellations have almost entirely changed recently. This may not seem like much, but I've always taken some measure of pride in declaring "these are the people closest to me and they haven't changed in x years." And it's not just the people closest to me that have changed, but everything up to and including. The people I talk to, the people I interact with, the people I depend on, are all unrecognizable from just two years ago. Many of them weren't even there twenty four months ago; they are newly formed stars fireballing brilliantly.

And it's not because the other bright lights have changed or winked out necessarily, they've just faded into the background. Lately I've been in talks with another friend about how hard it can be to "turn over" your social circle. It seems like I've somehow done it, without much provocation or even intent. The question is: Now what?