Quiet Storm

During the Fugees surprise reunion on Chappelle's Block Party, people in the crowd ask Lauryn where she's been. "You say where I been?" And she points to her kid hanging out in the background. Unfortunately where I been is nowhere near as exciting. No children lurking around here! I mean, I hope there aren't any… I had a few friends ask me if I was okay because my blog was so dead. It took a N'Sync reunion to blog on my normal public one, and this past July budget blog was sitting in my draft folder for weeks. Basically I've been busy doing something but I'm not even entirely sure what.

There was a concert on a yacht, a Broadway show with Nathan Lane, the usual smattering of seeing people here and there, a really fun 90s Pop Singalong party. I dunno what else actually. I've been hitting up a few more book events because of friends' readings and releases, but not anything too heavy. I'm in the middle of like five books I can't seem to get to halfway through on any of them. Not on account of goodness, they are all good, but I just don't sit down and read I guess. One of them is due this week for book club. Even though I'm not that far into it, Americanah is already good bordering on super excellent, I can tell. It's by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, who did the "The danger of a single story" TED talk that got around. That, along with the previously posted about Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. has reignited my fire for fine reading.

I will conquer some books soon, or pass out trying.

New York summer has slipped away from me. All the late nights, the wandering around, the things that I come to New York for, all of that hasn't really happened. And now I'm headed to San Francisco for three weeks, and when I return it'll be fall. Part of the problem is this weather. I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually miss the heat. Nights have been almost chilly, like seventies, and the thickness of summer is gone. Come back humid weather, come back so I can complain about you again.

Yesterday night I biked from Midtown all the way to my apartment in Fort Greene. It's the longest ride I've taken, maybe five or six miles in total. I felt like it was my last chance to catch any summer before it passed away. I rode down late, music blasting, even though I didn't have my newly acquired helmet on. (I mistakenly bought a woman's helmet, but it's so pretty that I'm keeping it even if it sits weird on my head.) It only took me two and a half songs to get across the bridge, but it was enough for me to say goodbye and to come to terms with the fact that summer is over.

Sorry, I totally let you down.

A few weeks ago JMZ took me across the Manhattan Bridge for the first time, on the way to ramen. It was pretty awesome, if initially a bit tiring. JMZ rode his skateboard and was somehow twice as fast as me. He's ahead of me carving up the street on his mini-board as I hustle to catch up. At times, JMZ would hang onto the back of my seat, sitting sidecar -- apparently this is called "skitching" and it's what real skaters do. One passerby yelled out "cute" as he shot by us on the bridge. He may have meant it mockingly but whatevers, it was damn cute. Everyone should skitch with one other.

Also, skate video four. As you can see, I'm not getting any better, I just want to buy more skateboards.

The ramen place we ended up was Bassanova. It's pretty new and it's from Keizo Shimamoto. If you are a ramen person, his Go Ramen blog is probably familiar to you. A couple of years ago, Keizo quit his job, moved to Japan, and became a ramen chef. And now he's got a place in Chinatown, right on Mott Street. The prices rival Ippudo's but I have to say that his Thai green curry ramen is pretty freaking delicious. And different. Watch his short documentary Ramen Dreams if you wanna see someone doing it, living out their dream.

What it must feel like to have your passion, and just get to it. I've been thinking about that. If you just had to pick one thing to do, with no excuses, what would it be and why aren't you doing it? Or not even one thing, but putting 125% into anything. I'm also reading through a camp acquaintance's book, Do Cool Sh*t, and it's inspiring to see how much one person can do. Well, deflating, but ultimately inspiring. In the book she says to surround yourself with the right people. So I've been thinking about that. Surround myself with the right people to achieve what I want. Who are these people? Is it you, me, them, us?

• Tokyo's Acclaimed Bassanova Ramen Opening in New York City
• Go Ramen Foo-Foo Challenge (2008)

We watched Drinking Buddies the other night. It's got Jake Johnson from The New Girl and Olivia Wilde, and Anna Kendrick. It's from Joe Swanberg, who did all the mumblecore stuff like Quiet City, Nights and Weekends, Hannah Takes the Stairs. Some real gems right? Drinking Buddies was like accessible mumblecore, with more plot and shine than stuff Swanberg has done before. I loved it, absolutely.

The loose idea of Drinking Buddies is that it's about exploring the line between friendship and romance. Johnson has a girlfriend, Wilde has a boyfriend, but the relationship depicted is between them. They are friends, maybe more than friends, maybe not really, they are mostly platonic but also not just. Whatevers, it's grey area. It's worth a watch, even just for the discussions it might bring up. I mean, unless you're in a relationship, in which case this could be alarm bells.

Bill Simmons wonders on his podcast, with pop culture genius / intellectual douchebag Chuck Klosterman, if this is the Singles or Reality Bites for the current generation. (The Gaga Generation? Miley? Ha, just kidding. What is the right reference here?) I'd say not quite but maybe. I'll have to give it a re-watch. Also, if Ben Stiller successfully pulls off bringing Reality Bites back as a television show, as rumored, I'll have to hate him even more than I do now. Of course I'll hate watch Lelaina and Troy, but I won't like it. Not one bit.

• The B.S. Report: Chuck Klosterman on Miley Cyrus, Breaking Bad, and Drinking Buddies
• NYT Review: When It's All About the Timing | New Yorker review
• Meet Drinking Buddies Director Joe Swanberg, the Man Behind Your Next Favorite Movie
• Joe Swanberg On Why He Felt a Social Responsibility To Make Drinking Buddies
• Lessons in Extreme Productivity From the Director of Drinking Buddies

When I get the time in the next week or so, this blog is going down. It's time to go newsletter with Tiny Letter. Jon Wow has outlived its purpose. What purpose you ask? Ha, you're hilarious.

Ways and Means: July

I spent a few bucks on Spendee, an iPhone expense tracker. Sure, I was using Mint and stuff but this one was just too pretty to pass up. Mint was failing me because it had some tiny syncing issues and I wanted something to just log my cash expenses while on-the-go. Spendee is that app. Is it full featured? No. Does it look pretty? Yes.

For the first time all year, I was not the Budget Club loser! That honor goes to George, who spent an outrageous amount on who knows what -- including a new iPhone to replace her stolen one. While I certainly didn't make my goal of coming under budget, I performed better than at least one of my peers, which is fantastic. I am almost giddy with joy, even though my bank account has dropped a few levels as my roommate informed me that she hasn't cashed my rent check for two months. No wonder I was feeling so rich. Regardless, I am feeling on top of the world!

I also had my best spending month since February. That means I only spent 150% of my budget, which is a win all around. Percentage wise, July was my best month yet actually.  I don't know how, but in February I managed to spend the least, even though I blew over $500 in taxis. Actually, I do know how February was so cheap: I didn't travel.

Basically what I've figured out is killing me is travel and food. If I want to stick to my budget, I can not go anywhere, and I can not eat. First the travel. In July I had to dump some money into an airplane ticket to San Francisco. I'll be there for three weeks in September and really, there's no other way around flying coast to coast. This upcoming cross country flight is actually the cheapest travel I've bought this year.

Other categories I went over: 150% for dining out, 150% over on play, 340% too much on household, and 400% on taxis. The taxi thing is really a painful cost because I should be biking/subwaying places. Part of that cost is the taxi back from JFK earlier in the month, but apparently I got lazy and took a few extra cabs this month. Whoops. As for the household extra, that can be explained very easily: air conditioning. It was blazing hot for a few weeks here and my room was an oven. The $120 I spent on a mini air conditioner was worth every penny.

As for the playing, I guess I went out and had drinks more than normal. I see three or four instances of bar tabs that were over $50. And I barely even drink that much when I go out. I don't know how you alcoholics maintain a budget and drop so much money on alcohol. Also, I discovered that my MoviePass fails me at certain independent cinemas so had to pony up to see Act of Killing, Computer Chess, and Blackfish -- the latter which Mae paid for. I also stupidly swiped the wrong red card and got charged $18 to watch The Wolverine 3D. All of these were quality must-see movies though, so I can't begrudge the cost. Still, this MoviePass is supposed to be saving me money. Also, I think I have to re-up in August for another three months. Sunk costs, sunk costs!

Wait, why am I explaining everything away? I think it's because George is real good at putting on the pressure and inducing guilt. I mean, not enough for me to change my habits, but enough for me to feel like I need to explain every miniscule charge. I literally get a "you spent X on X?!" text message every few days from her, as she has full access to my budget spreadsheet. I guess she didn't ascend to become a high ranking tax auditor for nothing.

My goal this month is to stick to my dining out budget. I am blowing far too much dining out. Even after splitting off my snacks -- more on this later -- I somehow dropped over a thousand on dining out. Keep in mind that I'm hardly eating like a king. I'm just eating normal one or two Yelp dollar sign food. What is happening? Add in my grocery bill and I'm literally spending more than four times on food as either AMR or George. This month I'm moving back to sandwiches, pasta, cereal, and ramen. I also started to track my food consumption as an extra category on my Google Calendar -- in green of course. I need to figure out how many meals I'm eating and what I'm eating. Basically tracking is the key to feeling like you're making progress, without possibly actually making progress. See: Budget Club.

As for that snack category. I realized that I spend an awful lot on little snacks. Walking around I'll pop into a bodega for a coffee, some candy, grab a couple of cookies, dip into Handsome Dan's for a snocone, what have you. Throw in my always consumption of Jamba Juice and boba, I figured I needed to more carefully find out if I was throwing money away on snacks. Thus, the exciting July debut of a "snacks" category. Woohoo, feel the rush!

Also, I am officially running out of money. Help.

• ATM Visits: Ten, once with a fee
• Dining out: Thirty two times, high of $80* (17 snacks)
• Cabs: Eleven, average of $18
• Shopping: Bath mats, two thrift T-shirts, Klean Canteen, backpack, popsicle molds, keychains, one book
• Play: two movies, four nights out, one karaoke session, a Broadway show for next month
• Biggest expenses: Flight to San Francisco ($350), air conditioner ($140), dinner ($80), Broadway show ($70), dinner ($60)

Move Something

A friend got broken up with the other day. The separation of their lives sounds painful. He was supporting her, they shared animals, they shared space, they shared lives since college. Now it's all over and she's unloading pet supplies, clothes, games, just about everything. I don't often get whatever the opposite of schadenfreude is -- sympathy? -- for breakups, but this one seems awful.

One of my summer goals is to get three chapters of this relationship book done. I keep collecting links and articles and fun things to go over when I finally do the proposal. (Note: I have also been talking about doing this book since 2009.) Here's a few recent ones I've been digging through.

First up is this Forty Days of Dating experiment. Two friends decided to date each other for forty days to see what would happen. The project took place in the spring but they are releasing their entries now. It's getting a ton of press and Internet love. Of course I'm jealous, as this is a project I clearly should have. Maybe I'll still do it, but you know, to less acclaim and with less creativity. The whole thing reminds me a bit of Breaking Upwards, the semi-fictional movie about a real life couple breaking up but still trying to live together.

I've also been reading about the term "monogamish." Dan Savage coined it and it's making the rounds once again due to the recent Supreme Court decisions. Here's Slate's Double X ladies talking about it. Ever since being introduced to the concept of open relationships, etc., I've been an advocate. Applying it in real life, that's another story. This may not be news to you, but most people aren't quite up on the idea. Shocking! Social norms aren't changing anytime soon and I haven't met anyone (yet) who's successfully pulled off an open relationship.

At a writing group I went to a few years ago, one of the guys was trying to write a book about polyamory. Half of the session was spent with him answering questions about his lifestyle. You'd think it would be interesting, but it actually got boring pretty fast. Maybe it was the guy though, he was just kind of smug-y. I used to listen to Savage's Lovecast a lot, but not so much now. Maybe it's a thing couples should do together.

• What You Should Know About Monogamish Relationships
• All My Exes Live in Texts: Why the Social Media Generation Never Really Breaks Up
• I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You (2012)
• Modern Love: Uh, Honey, That’s Not Your Line

"Normal frictions that arise in any relationship -- sour mood spoiling a dinner, tension around whose apartment to sleep at -- start coarsening their time together. The fade-out is slow and hazy -- it's a devastating portrayal of the subtle shifts in power that can ruin the blossoming of real love and sympathy between two people."
-Love, Actually: Review of Adelle Waldman's The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.-

We helped move Amit out of New York the other day. It was just two years ago we were celebrating his ten years in NYC. Out of nearly everyone, he's the one non-native that has stuck around here the longest. Now it's time for a change and he's driving back to Ohio and then on to Los Angeles. Who knows how long he'll be gone?

With his exit, half my social life is gone. I mean, I mostly associate summers with hanging out and drinking wine at Veloce, singing karaoke every other night, and running around to wherever Amit is. He was always up to something, always with the cool people, and could be always be counted on to spice up my nights in the city.

Last week, we also had one last karaoke session, and we added another Lion King song to our repertoire. A few months back we discovered that we are awfully good -- and enthusiastic -- about "Circle of Life." Well, we're almost as passionate about "Can You Feel the Love Tonight." Anyway, we did that and now it could be months before I hear him do "Hallelujah" or any of the other songs I've gotten accustomed to hearing Amit sing. I wonder how many other similarly Amit-shaped holes will be felt by his friends. A lot, I'm sure.

Also, as we were moving stuff out of his house, I reminisced a bit about his apartment in Chelsea. He'd been there for seven years and so much has happened there. Oh the memories. That couch, that carpet, the bathroom we would sit around DDTing because everyone else was asleep.

I can't remember the last time anyone had a DDT.

Plunk, plunk

Did some real honest work for the first time in well, forever. Honest work meaning I sat my ass in a chair for more than five hours and mainly did responsible things. JMZ's annual MLB event happened to be in New York this year so I volunteered for some card making duty on Friday. Working these things can be draining, especially when you're faced with the prospect of four or five days of people pushing through. I can see why JMZ does fewer events now. I'd want to burn the whole place down after seventy two hours.

The last time I joined JMZ on the assembly line was at the 2008 Super Bowl in Arizona. Back then I was just his assistant, sitting to his left and rolling/cutting the cards out. This time I was able to actually man a Photoshop station and given the responsibility of snapping the photo, using some keyboard shortcuts to shift things around, and then get the proper spelling of the fan's name. Moving on up in the world! Here's a sample card, and here's JMZ sitting next to Tony the Tiger.

I was only at the Javits Centre from about ten to seven, and because it was more for fun than anything, it was very enjoyable. But it gave me flashbacks of doing jobs where you just hate being there day after day. Like "More of this, tomorrow? Wah wah." Whenever my good fortune runs out and I can't just glide along doing nothing, it's going to be a tough tumble back to regular life.

The difference in our volunteer help was stark. One of my guys was entirely useless. He didn't position the people well, he didn't tell them what to do, he was basically just standing next to the rack of jerseys being invisible. The lady that replaced him was, in contrast, spectacular. She anticipated my needs before I even voiced them -- adjusting people's stances, making small talk, suggesting fun ideas, tipping hats up when people's eyes were covered -- and I wanted to ask what she did in her real life, just so I could go work with her. I guess my point is that you can generally tell if someone is capable at something within about half an hour. This is how the hiring process should be for most things. "Show me what you can do, I'll just watch for a bit."

During high school, we did a ton of volunteer stuff and we had little summer gigs where we'd stand around trying to be useful or something. The most fun one I can remember is when A Bug's Life was coming through the local mall and we were hired to stand around next to the roped off statues and make sure nobody touched them. Basically we did nothing, but it sure felt important.

Basically R&B is the thing to mix into everything right now. Lately I can't get enough of Quadron, which is Danish R&B/Soul, and AMR has been hammering me with (horrible) R&B tracks being sampled and remixed into house stuff. He explains in this T.E.S.T. post. It's hard to complain though, as Discovery and Purity Ring has brought me much joy. And of course Weeknd and Frank Ocean. Now I'm getting into Haim, a band from L.A. that brings together folk and R&B. There is absolutely no end in sight here.

"It isn't surprising that indie and indie-sounding R&B became cool again this year. With its emphasis on melancholic confessionalism and interior concerns, so-called 'progressive' R&B (far more so than most mainstream club-oriented R&B) delivered authentic blues feeling to a post-affluent culture suffering from collective disillusionment."
-Should we be suspicious of hipsters' newfound love of R&B? (2012)-

It was a weekend of iPhone disasters. I took Mae riding down West Side Highway on a Citibike and it was all glorious until we noticed that her purse was gone -- fallen out of the front non-basket thingy. We traced our route a few times but it was not to be found. After contacting AMR to see if he could use Find My Phone on it, a few hours later he texted that George too had lost her phone. Stolen right out of her bag! Luckily, from the messages and photos I received throughout the night, it seemed like she was too busy twerking and drinking to get too down. Anyway, this is a public service announcement to get the protection plan for your iPhone. I used to not ever do it, but the list of people who haven't ever lost their expensive phone is dwindling.

Also: "My sister twerks?!" If you haven't fainted, and you need to do a little twerking tutorial yourself, may I recommend this Youtube Howcast. Activate those hips and push your ass out...

Last thing. Like my basically best friend got surprise/shock engaged last week. And I found out via Facebook. Et tu, Brute? Actually I'm semi-okay with it because I didn't tell her I had a girlfriend for months. Whoops.

Always Ballad

Okay, so Rosemary's Baby was not scary, not like The Exorcist, which is what I was expecting. It's one of those films that's constantly referenced in pop culture -- and a few times this past season on Mad Men -- so I thought it was about time to watch it. Over two hours later, my verdict is: meh. I'm sure it's a super classic and there's a lot to admire about it, but rewatching certain old movies is almost a chore. The archival stale wheat germ before you can move onto sugary summer fare like Despicable Me 2. Now that's a movie! I don't care if I'm trying not to overhype stuff, go see it. That and Sarah Polley's brilliant Stories We Tell were recent things that I'd highly recommend. Plus 20 Feet From Stardom if you're into that type of thing. Heck, here's my last three months of movie watching, in too many words.

Roman Polanski is a child sexual abuser, Orson Scott Card opposes same sex marriage, and George R.R. Martin probably has a few skeletons in his closet too. I was thinking today about the idea of boycotting art because of the creator. That would eliminate a wide swatch of consumables. A lot of great stuff comes from super fucked up people. I mean, I can't say I love David Choe's stuff always, but I do love following him, even if his interests and expressions are way off from my morals. Then again, what morals right? Excited to see Ender's Game!

But seriously, where do you draw the line?

I do this thing, where I'm always checking in on an old blog, Hipstomp, on the month that I'm currently at, weighed against his archives. It's one of my absolute all time top five blogs and I've probably re-read the whole thing like ten times over. Being in New York lends even more interestingness to Rain's posts. He blogs like I want to blog. I emailed him once, a few years ago, to see if he had an agent for his work in progress. I guess that project never got finished. Now he writes for a design magazine or something. I should try to see who we might know in common, so I can go gush/grovel at his feet.

Lately I've been trying to figure out a topic for a newsletter I can start. I saw a friend on Facebook follow The Skimm and hopped on a few months ago. Now I see articles about it everywhere and there's a weird uptick in newsletters. I'd been hoping to start a friend circle gossip one using Tiny Letter, but that idea requires people to tell me secrets they either a) don't have or b) won't divulge. So that project is out.

But I'm mulling over the idea of doing a Skimm-esque newsletter, perhaps for pop culture. It would take an intense amount of energy but I'm basically doing it already on some level. I just need to find some fellow heavy consumers and get on the ball. I think the key behind the newsletter resurgence is that you have a very tightly focused demographic to advertise to. Because that's where the money is right? Telling people what to buy. But under the cover of something else.

• A Daily Newsletter You'll Want To Actually Open (2012)
• Meet The Women Behind The Skimm, Your New Secret Weapon
• You Need To Know About: The Skimm
• Tour The West Village With The Skimm's Gorgeous Founders
• Roommates Quit Jobs At NBC To Help You Skim News Every Morning (2012)

Having this bike share thing is changing my life. I've walked to the subway exactly zero times. There's a rack of Citibikes half a block away and I just jump on one and zoom a mile down to the subway. It's super glorious. The entire last week I even got to places on time, or early! And it's even better in the city -- albeit more nerve wracking -- because when the subway lines aren't convenient, you just hop onto a bike and go. Traveling east to west has never been such a joy.

And on Saturday afternoon we rode bikes from JMZ's apartment in Bed-Stuy to Williamsburg. It was a short three mile ride and we arrived soon after Jenn and her friend, who drove. What I have noticed tooling around on a bike are the varying quality of the streets. I'm scanning everywhere for potholes, bumps, potential danger spots. All while trying to look around for traffic too. It's incredible how alert you have to be to survive, and I'm pretty sure I'm not even that good at being alert. I made a vow to myself to not ride a bike when tired or post-drinking. At least until I get on that helmet stuff. Then I'll drink, ride, and listen to Tupac on full blast. "Picture me rolling..." I'm going through a Tupac phase for some reason right now. I hope it ends soon so I can return to regularly scheduled programming.

Also this past weekend, we went out dancing two nights in a row, both until super late. The line for Le Poisson Rouge was down the block and they weren't letting guys in shorts in so I chose to scoot home, change, and then get back out. It's possible to do this because things don't close in New York, I love it. So back on the scene at twelve thirty and then dancing till four. It was an absolute hot box, like everyone was just drenched through.

But that heat was nothing compared to our sauna the next night, at a place called Tender Trap. We didn't get there until two thirty but it was still packed, smelled like what you'd expect it to smell like, and sweat was literally dripping off my elbow at certain points. The music was all booty rap with overtures of late Nineties jams, and if it wasn't so late we probably would have looked for other options. I loved it ten minutes in though, as it was grimy but super fun.

The summer is for dancing, it's true.