Currently I've got a swaddle of bandages around my head, which from a distance makes me look like I'm wearing an extra-large sweatband. Upon closer inspection, it appears more like I've had a recent lobotomy. Unfortunately the truth isn't nearly as exciting.
Over the summer, while on that cross country road trip, one of the piercings on my right ear started balloning up. It was a keloid, about the size of a Skittle, just hanging out behind my ear. After dutifully soaking it in epsom salt, it went away but never fully disappeared. Flash forward a few months and quite a few "what is that thing?!" comments later, and I finally consulted some doctor friends who said it had to be surgically removed.
Today was that special day.
The entire process will have taken four hospital visits -- a general practitioner to identify the problem, a visit to the specialist, an appointment for the actual surgery, and then a follow up next week to check on the sutures. In sum, the earring cost $35 to pierce three years ago, maybe $20 since for various cups/salts/things to make it feel better, and then a few hundred -- if not a thousand -- in medical bills. That's the price you pay for sticking pieces of metal in your body. The best part is, this exact same location had given me problems before. I just stubbornly resisted what my body was telling me, kept a hoop in there for years, and then finally removed it. Only to repierce it when that keloid faded away. Now look at me.
Two summers ago I got a mallet finger, another costly experience. The lesson here is to just stop doing things because any visit to the hospital is a costly one, even with insurance. Which somehow I magically have. My mom, and Ben Franklin like to say, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." (Did everybody go through a huge Poor Richard's Almanac phase in middle school? I assume so.) Actually my mom doesn't say that at all. She just says when I'm older and my body falls apart, then I'll see the wisdom of her words. And regret my hard charging lifestyle.
In other news, I also got the results for my first physical in years back. I have the health of an eighteen year old and I haven't gotten so many superlatives on a report cards since, well, never.
I'm healthy as shit! The key is obviously twelve hours of sleep a day, low stress, no exercise, and staying indoors a lot. The doctor did say I should cut down on my sugar though, but we knew that already.
Up above, I used "swaddle" incorrectly but I'm all about it now because we were using it (in context) the other day to talk about babies. Yes, babies.
No comments:
Post a Comment