Draw Back Your Bow

Listening to: Sam Cooke, "Cupid." Me and this track, this track and I, are going to be amazing friends.

I hopped out to the city for the first time in two weeks. Since returning from my mini East Coast tour, I've been holed up house sitting and writing. Going from trees and solitude to traffic and buildings took some readjustment before I settled in. It's bad but I can't decide which I prefer right now. For my sake I hope it's the traffic and buildings.

The lounge I ended up at on Thursday night had a retractable roof made of glass that was pretty exciting while in motion. When going out, anything different is suddenly an attraction. "Did you see those inverted bathrooms? Wow!" I'd like to think I'm above it but I'm really not. I mean, I'm still curious about an ice bar, even though I already know they're stupid.

Despite downing only a handful of drinks, I was gone before midnight. Maybe I should have stayed longer to dance it off, but on the taxi ride home, it was all I could do to concentrate and not throw up. When I got to my friend's apartment, he was not in top shape himself and while normally I'd offer my assistance, there was no getting around the fact that if I didn't lie down immediately, my world would end.

After this near miss, I'm holding off on alcohol until the Labor Day wedding. Then I will order shots but surreptitiously pour half of each down someone else's throat. I've been getting hangovers recently when I drink, even in the slightest amount. They are so decapitating that it shocks me people are willing to subject themselves to this over and over. Wouldn't the world be a less painful place if we read more about alcohol rather than drinking it?

On Friday, my plans to go to a friend's art show was literally washed out, as New York got pummelled with rain and everyone was trapped indoors. Watching my friends gather and hang out in their apartment, I realized a few things. One, it's really just so much easier to date within your ethnicity grouping. This particular group of friends rolls mono-ethnic deep, and half the girls from one state ended up dating or marrying half the guys from another state. Seeing the familiar interactions the group had -- not all attributable to shared backgrounds of course -- it made it very clear how hard it might be for an "outsider" to slide in. If you value your ethnic social circle, it's much easier to find a similarly shaped peg for that particular hole.

Later that weekend, I had talks about this exact same topic with another friend. He's semi-dating this girl whom he can't quite convince to go serious because he's not her desired ethnicity. We compared notes on how sometimes people date one contrary type (i.e. not their ethnicity) or whatever for awhile, but then once they hit a certain age and readiness, they settle down with a person that fits the mold. Bam, game over. So my friend fights the fight, being an ethnic ambassador. I'm supporting him from the bench.

The other realization I had was that all the problems I encounter trying to get my friends to have united fun by playing games are basically universal -- especially when half the crowd just wants to talk, watch television, or are anti-games. I think in the future I'm going to forgo trying to make a group of people move the same way, and just retreat to the confines of my electronics. That's actually the opening number to one of my book projects right now. A young girl lamenting how she wishes all her friends could be replaced by robots. It's not autobiographical, not at all.