In the stories of 9/11 though, there always seems to be a bit of one-upmanship quality to how close you were, or who you knew that barely escaped, or who you knew that actually passed away. Well, not so much the latter. But when talking about the World Trade Center, there's an immediate need to tell your story after someone shares their experience. Somehow I don't think that's what "You'll never forget the day..."is actually about. You're supposed to remember the event because it's historic/shocking, not regurgitate it annually. Next year is the tenth anniversay of 9/11, maybe I should go stand where I was standing ten years ago.
But what would be the point exactly?
A friend that grew up with a lot of my other friends committed suicide a few weeks ago. He jumped. Cleanly, simply, and with no note or message. I don't think a lot of us have been to funerals for our friends before. The memorial service was held at the same place we had the ceremony for my dad. Beforehand, as the crowd gathered, the priest kind of ambled around, reading over what people had written on the guestbook / surfboard, whistling a cheerful tune. My friend and I both wanted to punch him.
The ceremony itself was similar to a wedding. Slideshow, speeches, some tears. Everyone was encouraged to make the slow walk over to the grave site, trailing the hearse by a few yards. The distance was only about two hundred yards so it felt absurd and my friend and I stayed behind. The family members were each given a white dove to release. The priest said that they would be flying off to heaven along with our friend's spirit. He neglected to point out that this was symbolic. After all, the pigeons would be arcing back around for the next customer.
Funerals aren't good places to grieve; or feel.
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